Episode 012 - From Shame to Story: How Writing Became the Bridge to Recovery

When Kimberly Kearns woke up that November morning in 2020, hungover and filled with self-loathing after another night she couldn't fully remember, she made a decision that would change everything. After 20 years of drinking, countless attempts at moderation, and years of her husband asking her to slow down, she finally said the words out loud: "I need your help. I cannot do this anymore."What followed wasn't just sobriety—it was a creative awakening that transformed a woman who "didn't think she was good enough" to write into an author whose memoir now reaches people still suffering in silence. Kim's journey from sneaking morning vodka to writing her truth reveals something profound about the relationship between recovery and creativity: sometimes we have to lose everything we thought we needed to discover what we're truly capable of creating.The Sober Creative is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.Show Notes[00:00] The Perfect Family Facade* Started drinking at 14 to cope with family pain hidden behind a "perfect" exterior* Used alcohol as social lubricant through teenage years and college* Met husband at 18, married at 25, had three children under age 4* Weekend binge drinking pattern while working as teacher[07:00] The Mommy Wine Culture Trap* Transitioned to daily drinking after becoming stay-at-home mom* Found community with other moms who drank during playdates* Avoided friendships with non-drinking mothers* Pandemic drinking escalated to morning vodka consumption[10:00] The Moment of Truth* Thanksgiving weekend 2020: couldn't remember putting kids to bed* 5 AM wake-up call filled with self-loathing and clarity* First time admitting to husband: "I think I have a problem"* Husband's immediate support and relief[12:00] The Social Fear Factor* Greatest barrier: fear of judgment from drinking friends* Worried about being "the sober person" despite being known as "sloppy drunk"* Lost friendships when sobriety held mirror to others' drinking* Grief process for relationships based solely on alcohol[18:00] Creative Floodgates Open* Started writing immediately after getting sober* Hadn't written since college despite being English major* Writing became cathartic tool for processing buried trauma* Created blog as accountability tool for husband and friends[20:00] From Shame to Story* Never felt "good enough" to write while drinking* Would joke about "maybe someday writing life story" but never tried* Sobriety revealed years of suppressed creative yearning* Writing became way to "pay forward" the comfort found in others' recovery stories[25:00] Beyond the Memoir* First book "On the Edge of Shattered" published in 2022* Currently writing fiction novel—modern retelling of The Scarlet Letter* Lead writer for Season 2 of narrative podcast "F*cking Sober: The First 90 Days"* Working with agents for second book publicationKey Quotes"I didn't think I was worthy of creativity when I was drinking. I didn't think I was good enough. I didn't even bother. I knew that I loved to write for so long and I remember jokingly saying to my husband in my 20s like maybe someday I'll write my life story, but I was like, I'm never going to be good enough to do that." - Kimberly Kearns"The writing really helped uncover those feelings. Much like a lot of people that drink, you drink to not feel and to numb. And the writing really helped uncover those feelings." - Kimberly Kearns"I like to write about this topic in particular because I didn't have anything to turn to for so long. I felt like I was just suffering in silence. I was so terrified and so alone that when I finally did stop drinking and I found things to read and turn to—I was so grateful for all those novels that I read and all those memoirs." - Kimberly Kearns"There's no blaming anybody. There's no pointing fingers. I'm taking responsibility in telling my story." - Kimberly KearnsResources Mentioned* Book: "On the Edge of Shattered" by Kimberly Kearns (available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble)* Podcast: "F*cking Sober: The First 90 Days" (Season 2 written by Kim)* Newsletter: Unshattered Sobriety on Substack* Recovery Program: Alcoholics Anonymous (AA)Where to Find Kimberly* Substack: Unshattered Sobriety* Book: "On the Edge of Shattered" (available wherever books are sold)* Website: kimberlykearns.comThank YouA heartfelt thank you to Kathi Foy, Richard Hogan, MD, PhD(2), DBA, Noelle Richardsand many others for tuning into our conversation. Your presence and engagement make these conversations possible. I am grateful to Kimberly Kearns for her bravery in recovering out loud by sharing her story. What's NextThe Sober Creative is more than a newsletter. It's a movement—and now, a growing community of creatives choosing clarity.✍️ Read the Essays - Stories and strategies for building a clear, intentional creative life without substances.🎙️ Join Clear Conversations - Live interviews with artists and entrepreneurs navigating sobriety and deep creative purpose.🧘 Try a Guided Meditation - Short, powerful practices to reconnect with your creative voice and ground your nervous system.☀️ Want to gain clarity on where you are? In this Free 60-minute 1:1 session, we'll get clear on what's really keeping you stuck and explore what's actually possible for you.🌱 Are you ready to explore your life without alcohol? A guided one-month experience for sober-curious creatives who are ready to let go and reconnect with their voice.🧭 Feeling ready to go deeper? Learn more about my 90-day 1:1 coaching experience to reclaim your inner alignment through sobriety.Each step forward is an act of becoming the person you want to be.Thank you for being here.JoshThe Sober Creative is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit newsletter.thesobercreative.com/subscribe