Episode 10: If I Feel Joy Again, Am I Leaving My Child Behind?

What if the first moment of joy after the loss of your child doesn’t feel like relief… but betrayal?In this episode of Beyond the Loss,I dive deep into one of the most unexpected and painful hurdles of the grief journey: the "loyalty bind." For many grieving parents, a sudden laugh, a moment of genuine connection with a friend, or a peaceful morning doesn't arrive as a gift. Instead, it arrives tangled up with intense guilt, confusion, and fear.Subconsciously, we find ourselves asking: If I feel joy again, does that mean I’m leaving my child behind?I gently dismantles the heavy, unspoken societal pressures placed on bereaved families and shares her personal reflections following the death of her son, Michael. She explores how suffering can easily be mistaken as the only remaining evidence of our love, and offers a beautiful alternative: that joy does not erase our relationship with our children - it expands it.This conversation is not an invitation to force positivity or look for silver linings. It is a gentle permission slip to notice life when it touches you again, and to realize that pain is not the only way our children remain present in the lives we are living now.In this episode, we discuss:• The "loyalty bind" and why joy after child loss can trigger guilt.• Why suffering can feel like the last remaining way to stay close to your child.• Navigating the impossible double standards and expectations of the outside world.• Honoring your child's life through what you allow yourself to experience, not just what you miss.• Pattern-to-Practice: A somatic reflection to help you gently observe how your body and mind respond to moments of ease without judgment.Transcript: HereConnect with me:• Website: https://sharonspano.com• Podcast: https://sharonspano.com/podcast/podcast-beyond-the-loss/• YouTube: youtube.com/@SharonSpano-BeyondtheLoss-Host• Substack: substack.com/@drsharonInterested in Being a Guest on Beyond the Loss?Apply here to share your story:https://sharonspano.com/podcast-guest-beyond-the-loss/About Beyond the LossBeyond the Loss: Life and Identity After a Child Dies is a podcast dedicated to helping grieving parents, bereaved families, and professionals navigate the emotional, relational, and identity shifts that follow the death of a child. Through compassionate conversations and clinical insight, we create space for healing, understanding, and honest reflection after profound grief. Support the show