EPISODE · Oct 12, 2024 · 37 MIN
Episode 104: The Emotional Price Tag Of An Ongoing Lawsuit
from The Private School Leader Podcast · host Mark Minkus
A 2022 study by the National Center for Education Statistics found that nearly 40% of private schools reported facing some form of legal action in the past five years. Of all lawsuits filed against schools, 90% of them are settled out of court. That means that it no longer matters whether or not the person filing the lawsuit has enough evidence to “win”. What matters is if they can find an attorney that will take the case. These two statistics mean that more private school leaders are dealing with more lawsuits than ever before. Litigation is time consuming, stressful and can become very overwhelming very quickly. How are you supposed to run your school and deal with a lawsuit? On today’s episode of The Private School Leader Podcast, we are going to discuss 7 strategies to help you navigate The Emotional Price Tag Of An Ongoing Lawsuit. Thank you for taking me along with you when you are walking the dog, driving to school or running errands. I appreciate you and what you are doing for the lucky kids and teachers at your school. Thanks so much for listening and thanks for making a difference! Mark Minkus I’ve created a FREE RESOURCE for you called “The Top 6 Ways To Protect Your School From a Lawsuit”. This is a 10 page pdf that will help you to keep your staff and students safe and help keep your school out of court. Litigation is expensive, time consuming and extremely stressful. This common sense guide will help you to be more intentional and proactive when it comes to protecting your school. You can grab “The Top 6 Ways To Protect Your School From a Lawsuit” at www.theprivateschoolleader.com/lawsuit. Thanks! If you have gotten value from listening to the podcast, I would love to work with you 1-on-1. I help my clients overcome imposter syndrome, set boundaries between work and home and how to actually get important things done instead of having your day ruled by the tyranny of the urgent. Sounds impossible right? It’s not. I can teach you how to make it possible. I would love to be your coach and I have a few spots open. Go to www.theprivateschoolleader.com/coaching to learn more about working with me 1-on-1. Being a private school leader is a VERY difficult job. You have to make hundreds of decisions every day, and you have to keep everyone safe, increase enrollment, keep the parents happy, keep the board happy, motivate the teachers, deal with student discipline, beat last year’s test scores and come in under budget. That can lead to you feeling tired, discouraged and stressed out. I’ve been there. That’s why I created THRIVE Academy just for you. THRIVE Academy is a digital course that will help you get out of survival mode and get back to feeling energized at school. To learn more, go to www.theprivateschoolleader.com/thrive I want to give you a FREE gift called 7 Strategies To Effectively Deal With Difficult Teachers. Sometimes we need some courage and confidence to deal with difficult teachers. What you need is a plan! This guide is a step by step plan that you can use to help one of your difficult teachers improve their performance and improve their attitude. Go to theprivateschoolleader.com/difficult to grab this free guide! Please check out all of the free resources on my website that can help you serve and lead your school community. There are "Plug & Play PD's" (45 minute webinars with guided notes) as well as Top 10 Lists of Leadership Books, Productivity Books and TED Talks over at www.theprivateschoolleader.com/resources. You can grab the show notes for today's episode at www.theprivateschoolleader.com/episode104 I want to say thank you for listening to the podcast by giving you a FREE GIFT. It is called The 7 Steps To Having A Successful Meeting With An Upset Parent. This guide is an 11 page pdf that gives you a step by step plan to have better meetings with the parents at your school. Every good coach has a game plan. Every good teacher has a lesson plan. Too many private school leaders don’t have a plan when they sit down to meet with an upset parent. Well, now you have a PLAN! You can grab this FREE GUIDE at www.theprivateschoolleader.com/meeting I’ve created a free resource for you called “The 6 Things That Every Private School Teacher Wants From Their Leader”. This guide is a 6 page pdf that will be a game changer for you. I guarantee you that if you do these 6 things, the teachers at your school will be happy to follow you. You can pick up your free guide by going to www.theprivateschoolleader.com/guide I want to give you a gift to say “thank you” for listening to the podcast. I have created a FREE guide for you called “5 Strategies To Help You Work With Difficult Parents”. We know that working with parents is part of the job and most of our parents are great, but some of them can be very demanding and emotional and difficult. This guide will give you the tools that you need to build better relationships and have better meetings with the difficult parents at your school. Go to www.theprivateschoolleader.com/parents to grab the guide. Thank you again for listening every week! I am excited to share a brand new resource with you. It is a 9 page pdf called: “How To Use Verbal Judo To Have Better Conversations With The Parents At Your School” What is “Verbal Judo”? "Verbal Judo" is a communication strategy that focuses on using words effectively to de-escalate conflict, resolve disputes, and achieve positive outcomes in various interpersonal interactions, particularly in high-pressure situations. George Thompson and Jerry Jenkins wrote a book called Verbal Judo: The Gentle Art Of Persuasion. So, I have taken several important strategies from the book and applied them to your life as a private school leader. Grab your free copy of “How To Use Verbal Judo To Have Better Conversations With The Parents At Your School” at www.theprivateschoolleader.com/judo TRANSCRIPT: Transcript: Welcome to the private school Leader podcast, where private school leaders learn how to thrive and not just survive as they serve and lead their schools. I strongly believe that it is possible • • to have a long and happy and fulfilling career as a private school leader. And my passion is to help you figure out exactly how to do just that right here on the private school leader podcast. And I'm your host, Mark Minkus. • • • So, it was October of 1999, • • • and it was just a, uh, normal day at my school. • • • And the kids were outside playing on the playground. • • • And there was a second grader, and he was running. • • And he tripped over • • one of those six by six • • • • • • • pieces, um, • of, um, treated lumber that holds the mulch into place on a playground. • • • • He was running. He tripped over that. He stumbled forward • • • • and kind of twisted as he fell, and • • • • the back • • side of him • • hit, um, • • the metal sliding board. • • • And, um, he was hurt pretty bad. He was in pain. • • And • • • what followed • • • was four years • • of interviews • • • and depositions • and court dates • • and documentation and stress • • • and emotional pain and exhaustion. • • • • Because when that little second grader fell • • and hit that • • metal slide, he ruptured his spleen. • • • • And • • • • • like most cases, • • • it was eventually settled out of court • • about four years later. • • • But there was a significant emotional price tag • for what happened that day in October of 1999. • • • And, you know, many of the clients that I coached, many of them, I would say probably close to half of my coaching clients, have • • experienced the exhaustion and burnout and constant stress that goes along • • with an ongoing lawsuit. • • • • And in 2022, there was a study done by the National center for Education Statistics, and they found that nearly 40% of private schools have reported facing some sort of legal action in the past five years. • • • That's a lot. • • • • • So how can you do everything that needs to be done to fight an accusation in court and still run your school and still be there for your family and still try to take care of your physical health and your mental health? • • • • • Well, the answer is that it's very, very difficult. And on today's episode of the Private School Leader podcast, we are going to discuss • the emotional price tag of an ongoing lawsuit. • • And I'm going to give you seven strategies to help you navigate this difficult season • in your school, in your career, • and also give you some resources that may actually help keep you out of court. • • • • And one of those resources is actually • • a, ah, ten page PDF that's called the top six ways to protect your school from a lawsuit. • • And this PDF can help you to keep your staff and students safe and help keep your school out of court, because as we've just been discussing litigation. It's expensive, it's time consuming, and it's so stressful. • • • But this common sense guide can help you to be more intentional and proactive when it comes to protecting your school. And, of course, there's never a guarantee • that you won't • • get sued, that you won't have to deal with an ongoing lawsuit. But there are some proactive actions that you can take to limit and reduce that likelihood. And so you can grab the six ways to protect your school from a lawsuit at theprivateschool leader.com lawsuit. Again, that's the six ways to protect your school from a lawsuit. It's a free guide for you, and you can grab [email protected]. law lawsuit. • • And • • • • just a quick reminder. Um, I mentioned my coaching clients. You know, I'd love to work with you one on one. I do have a couple coaching spots open right now, and really, coaching is all about helping you solve your problem. And so if you think about what is the biggest problem that I'm facing right now at school, is it • • relentless? Um, • • parents? Uh, is it feeling overwhelmed? Is it a school constantly invading your home life or your days being ruled by the tyranny of the urgent? Or maybe you want to take your leadership to the next level and your career to the next level. You're thinking of a career change. Um, so maybe it's that you're feeling guilty, that your family gets left of you. What's left of you at the end of the day? • • Well, whatever problem you're solving, you're trying to solve whatever problem you're dealing with, I can help you with that. And, um, if you want to know more about one on one coaching, just check it [email protected]. • coaching would love to talk to you more about trying to help you solve your biggest problem at school right now. • • 40% of private schools in America have reported facing lawsuits in recent years So I want to start by just trying to answer the question, why are there so many lawsuits against schools? You know, I mentioned at the top of the episode that this • • national center for Education Statistics said that 40% of private schools in America have reported facing some sort of legal action in the past five years. That's a lot. • • • And so what are some of the reasons why? Well, first of all, society • • just has become more litigious in general, • • • and many, there are many, many more lawsuits in general being filed in the past 20 years. So that's just a fact. • • • And, um, what are some of the other reasons • • why • things are why there are so many lawsuits that are being filed against schools. Well, • • • see, here's the main. I think this is the biggest reason • with lawsuits. It used to be when you. When a, let's say that it's a parent, let's, um, • • that there, it's a slip and fall, um, a parent, or let's say it's a teacher and it's a, ah, they perceive maybe they were, it was a wrongful termination, or perhaps it's a family where their child was expelled from the school and they're thinking about suing the school. So it used to be, the question used to be, can we win? • • • But now the question is, can I find an attorney to take the case? • • And the reason is, and this is a statistic that I, um, pulled during research for this episode, that currently • 90% of lawsuits against schools are settled out of court. Okay. 90% of lawsuits against schools are settled out of court. So the question is, no longer can we win. The question is can I find an attorney that will take the case? Because there's a high chance that we're going to settle • • and then there's going to be a financial • compensation. Uh, • • • • • • • so it's not about can we win? It's not about do we have enough evidence? • • Um, did they follow the handbook? • • Do they have video evidence? Did they do this? Did they do that? It's about can we get someone to take it and can we, so that we can settle? • • So that has increased the number. Um, another reason is because schools are very, very complex organizations, and usually there's a lot of emotion involved, but there's a lot of legal things involved, too. So, you know, you put students and staff on a campus, and you're gonna have, you know, physical safety issues with all the students and staff. So from, like I said, slip and fall or, um, liability, • um, you know, safety on field trips, just a ton of stuff. Um, you're gonna have employment law with everyone that works there. • • You're gonna have students, you're gonna have to discipline those students. And occasionally you're going to • • • • • • • have, um, to suspend or • • dismiss students, • • um, • • • wrongful termination, • • um, • • • age discrimination, uh, racial issues discrimination, • • um, • • bullying. • Did, um, the school do enough to keep my child emotionally safe, • um, not meeting the child's academic needs, such as, • • um, • • • the learning plan or a, um, mental health need, or perhaps even access because of a physical disability, • • • um, • • deib issues, • • • • • race allegations, free speech issues. Free speech issues have skyrocketed in the last ten years. So again, I'm not trying to trigger you. I'm not trying to scare you. I'm not. I just want to pause here for a moment, because • if, in the last five years, 40% of schools have dealt with a lawsuit, • • • most people listening are either sitting there feeling remind. Being reminded of the thing that happened and how hard it was, or • • they're thinking, oh, well, we've been blessed enough or lucky enough to not have a lawsuit. And, oh, no. Um, uh, is it about to happen? And so • I just, uh, believe strongly that it's like, okay, so when I thought about this episode, it's like, okay, well, we can just ignore this so that I don't trigger anybody, or we can do what we usually do, and that's lean into things that are uncomfortable • • and then try to give you some help. So I hope that you understand that I'm coming from a place of helping, but I think it's important to identify • • • why there are so many lawsuits against schools so that we can learn those strategies to navigate this if and when your school is going through that ongoing lawsuit or to help maybe reduce the likelihood that you'll end up in court. Societal expectations about school have grown a lot in the last 20 years Okay, so that's my brief sidebar disclaimer, but a couple more reasons why this has increased so much is that, um, there's increased accountability. • Um, and the societal expectations have grown, ah, a lot in the last 20 years. It used to be in, let's say, the late nineties, mid nineties. And I realized that's about 30 years ago, not 20 years ago, that for the most part, parents sent their kids to school, • • • and they figured the school knew what they were doing. And, um, • • • the expectations were that the teachers and the principal were going to do a good job, and there were not those kinds of, • um. • • • • • Uh. I don't want to say there weren't high expectations, but societal expectations about if a, uh, standard is not being met. Instead of complaining, it. • • • It's a short line sometimes between, • • • uh, • an expectation not being met and wanting to take legal action. • • And parents and guardians are more aware of their rights, and they're more willing and more likely to take action if they feel that those rights are being violated. And I'm not saying that's wrong. I'm just saying that it's a fact. Okay. There's a heightened awareness of issues such as bullying and discrimination and mental health concerns. Those are openly discussed. And 20 years ago, they weren't. And so schools that don't have clear and robust policies in place often find themselves in the, uh, crosshairs when it comes to how they handled a situation. • • • And then one last one that I think is a, uh, contributing factor, and that's social media. You know, the power of social media has amplified, like, an individual grievance. • • Then it just goes from zero to 100. • • • They post about it, and then other parents chime in, and if it becomes a story locally, then boom, all of a sudden it's a national story and things like that. So • • social media just makes it easier for complaints to escalate very, very quickly. So that's kind of a combination of the, why? Why are there so many? Why does it happen so often? • • There are seven strategies to help you navigate this long and stressful season I'm acknowledging that this might be uncomfortable for you to hear because of something that you've been through at your school or fear about what's next, but I want to equip you. • • And so what I'm about to discuss with you are seven strategies to help you navigate this long and stressful season in your school. Okay, so here are the seven strategies. Number one, acknowledge three things. Number two, adopt a marathoner's mindset. Number three, try not to catastrophize. Number four, follow your attorney's advice. • • Number five, be intentional about your environment. Number six, ask for help. And number seven is prioritize self care. • • • • • • • So number one is acknowledge three things. So what are the three things? Okay, the first thing is to acknowledge that this sucks. Okay? Lawsuits suck. They're long and they're drawn out, and they're stressful and they're awful, and • you need to acknowledge that. • And you're like, well, of course I'm going to acknowledge that. Um, I don't know. I just think that sometimes when, as private school leaders, whenever the next thing comes along, we just figure, okay, well, this is my life. It is what it is, and this is just a thing that I do. • Sometimes it helps a little bit if we can just pause and acknowledge, • • • • • this sucks. This is lousy. This is something that's going to take a while, and there's an emotional price tag. • • • • • That's the title of this episode. • Um, I was inspired and felt the need to do this episode just because of conversations that I've had with coaching clients • • • and seeing the toll that it takes on them when they have these ongoing lawsuits, • • • • to just acknowledge that it sucks. The second thing that we're going to acknowledge is that this is a traumatic event in your life and in the school's history. • • Now, trauma and traumatic event, those are tricky words, because, • • • um, I think that we. • When we think about being in the midst of being ahead or being a division head, but especially being ahead, • • um, when there's an ongoing lawsuit against the school, that you think, well, that's not really a traumatic experience. • • • You know, traumatic experiences, someone who's been, you know, abused or • someone, um, • • whose, um, you know, child died in a car accident or something like that. All of that is true, but trauma is trauma, and we don't need to compare trauma • • or rank trauma for it to be a traumatic experience. And so traumatic experiences have a high emotional price tag. • • • And the • • difference between • • • some traumatic events and an ongoing lawsuit is that I mentioned, like a car accident or a sudden, • • um, catastrophic injury or something like that, • maybe, um, a mugging, you know, those are things that happen in a moment, • and the lawsuit is stretched out over years, and so sometimes it diminishes • • that word trauma, because of the • • length of time that you're in that moment. Um. • • • • • Um, we don't have to compare trauma. • • • • • This is most oftentimes a traumatic event for you and for your school. • • And we need to acknowledge that because the price tag • • is equivalent to a traumatic event in most cases. • • • The third thing that we're going to acknowledge is that this is not about right and wrong. • • • Okay? Remember I said it's not about winning. It's not about whether or not you can win the lawsuit. • • • • • It's about whether or not someone will take the case and settle out of court. • • • • • • You could be 100% following the handbook. • • • • Have the kid, let's just say it's a kid being expelled and they're suing the school for wrongful dismissal. • • • • • You could have the kid on video doing the thing. You could have all of your documentation with every t crossed and every I dotted, • • • and it could still be that the school's attorney and the attorney, uh, • • for the family and the insurance company, for your liability insurance company, for the school, are all talking about this, and it just becomes the best thing to do • • from a financial standpoint for the school, and also from media exposure, that the best thing to do is to settle. Why do you think 90% of them settle? And so that's something that's really hard to get past for many of us, is that. Yeah, but we've got all of this. We've got the proof. You know, they're wrong. They're just making this up, and they're. They're just mad because they got fired or because their kid got expelled or, you know, you might be 100% right • and you still end up settling out of court. And so you have to acknowledge that this is not about right and wrong. • • Okay? Number two, these are our strategies • • for how we're going to navigate this. • • • • Number two, is adopt a marathoner's mindset. • • And you've heard it said before that life is a marathon and not a sprint. • We've heard it say that our school year is a marathon and not a sprint. And of course we know what that means, that we need to settle in for the long haul, that this isn't something that is going to be over quickly. And if a marathoner had the mindset of a sprinter, • • they would run out of energy • • after a couple hundred meters • • in the marathon. • • • • And so this is going to take a long time. This is going to take a while. And so another piece of advice, just, uh, • in addition to adopting that kind of mindset that they settle in and this is going to take a while, • • • is don't get too attached to dates when things might happen. • • • • • Don't get too attached to dates when things might happen. Okay? They might. There might be a decision on this date, or the attorneys said blah, blah, blah, or the judge is going to such and such, or the insurance company is going to dot, dot, dot on this date, or there's going to be a decision rendered on this date. • • • • • • • • • • I've talked to too many coaching clients where they've gotten their hopes up about a certain date, • • and then some small thing • • • • • kicks, um, • • that date a month down the road or two months down the road, and it's like crushing to that person. • • • • I think that if you don't get too attached to dates and you just figure it'll be all over when it's all over, that that's a more even keeled approach than to be on the emotional rollercoaster of putting a lot of stock into things happening on certain dates. • • And just to really, • • • again, adopt the marathoner's mindset that it's a long haul and you're just going to do whatever it takes to get to the finish line. • • • Strategy number three is to try not to catastrophize All right, strategy number three is to try not to catastrophize. • • • • • So it's very easy to catastrophize, and of course, we know what that means, and that's to just perseverate, to really think about, to ruminate on the worst case scenario. Um, • • and • • it could be that. • • • • I'll just go back for a moment. I was catastrophizing when that little boy was injured on the slide • • because it was about a month after we had, um, the death of a student on campus. And I did • • an episode on that, • • and • • • it was, um, the next morning, the student was tragically killed at a park. Um, they were playing with a gun, and the student was tragically killed a 9th grader at our school. And the next morning, • • • when I arrived at school, there were • • • • reporters, um, • • from three television stations with cameras. There were two newspapers, • • um, from our city, and they were all there first thing in the morning, wanting a quote, you know, trying to interview parents as they dropped off in carpool, trying to interview student drivers as they parked in the student parking lot. • • • • And so that was a month before • • • this boy getting hurt on the slide. And so, yeah, I was catastrophizing. It's like, oh, my gosh, here we go again. Going to be on the news, that kind of thing. And so we know that catastrophizing is just that worst case scenario kind of thinking, and then we just can't get out of that loop that we're in. Oh, my gosh, we're going to be on the national news. The school will have to close, I'm going to get fired, and then I'll never be able to get a job again, and so on and so forth. • • • • Couple of things. • • • • • • • First of all, a reminder that 90% of these cases are settled out of court. • And while that might be annoying because you just want to win, • • • the 90% of them being settled out of court in the long run is actually a good thing, in my opinion. • • And that's because • • • • oftentimes, • • • • when it is settled, • • well, first of all, when it's settled, usually that means it's over. And many times there's a, uh, • • non disclosure agreement or there's a gag order, and so the family isn't allowed to talk about it. You're not allowed to talk about it. But then that also lets the thing die down. The things that get all kinds of media attention are the ones where it's an actual court battle. And I'm not saying that there won't be ever be media attention or there won't be • negative attention, or that maybe you could come under some heat from your board because maybe you did mess up. Maybe you didn't have things, uh, tightened up as far as supervision at recess or as far as your employee handbook. I'm not saying that these things are impossible. I'm just saying that • • if we catastrophize about what could happen, • • we are going to pay a higher emotional price tag than if we choose not • to just, or we try not to catastrophize. And so • • being, you know, catastrophizing is really having a dysregulated autonomic nervous system. • • And in the show [email protected]. episode 104. I'm going to put some resources. Um, there are some worksheets there as far as, like, decatastrophizing worksheets. If you've been in therapy or worked with a therapist • for someone, student, uh, at your school, • • um, these are very, very useful. • • And just a tip, like, maybe this episode is landing for you in different ways. It's landing for everybody in a different way. • • • Um, • • • • • • a decatastrophizing worksheet is actually a pretty good thing to have in your file, uh, in your desk drawer, because it's something that you could pull out when you're really, really stressed out about a meeting with a parent or a meeting with a teacher or some other thing that's happening on your campus. • • • But specifically for the purposes of this episode. • Um, I'll put that in the show notes. There's a lot there about, um, um, regulating your autonomic nervous system and just trying not to catastrophize. And then also, I will link in the show notes, episode 101, which is the five steps to manage unrelenting stress. There's like a five step, uh, framework there that when you're under a tremendous amount of stress, that you can • manage, um, • • that a lot better. So that will help as well in this situation. Follow your attorney's advice and keep your board informed on litigation issues Okay. And then that brings us to number four, • • • which is follow your attorney's advice • • and keep your board informed. And so the first thing you're going to say is, duh, like, follow your attorney's advice. Yeah, of course I'm going to do that. Well, • • • • • • I mean, I just think it's obvious, but it needs to be said because it's so important is to just • • • get a good one and then do what they advise. And of course, you're going to • • • • talk to your board chair and make decisions. Do we want to do this? Do we want to do that? This is not what you do for a living. This is what they do for a living. And so get a good one. It might even be that • you decide that if your attorney • • for your school is more. A lot of this depends on the area that you live in and the size of your school and the size of the city that you live in. But your attorney might be someone who does a lot of, um, estate planning and, um, taxes and just things like that. And maybe they haven't dealt with lawsuits very much in their career. • Um, it could be that your school's attorney is great for 95% of the stuff that happens, but it might be that you need to engage the services of an attorney that has some experience with this type of, uh, litigation, • • um, for this issue. Okay. It's just something to consider. • • • • • • Your attorney's going to be working with the other side's attorney, obviously, and with the attorneys at your, • • um, • • that represent your insurance company, that has the liability insurance for the school. • • • Follow the attorney's advice. • • Remember that 90% are settled out of court. • • • You focus on what you do best, which is documentation, • • deadlines, running the school. Lean into the things that you have control over • • and let them do what they do best, and then keep your board chair informed. And I'll be honest, your board chair or a board member who maybe has, • • some of us have attorneys on our board, • • • there needs to be a board member that's going to step up and be the go to person that's going to communicate with you regarding this. And you just can't be the lone wolf on this, nor should you be. • And • • • that might be an uncomfortable conversation for you to say, hey, I really need some help. But that is what you need to do, is to get a board member to really step up, uh, and to be involved with this. • • • Seven strategies to help you navigate an ongoing lawsuit include being intentional about your environment So we're • talking about the seven strategies to help you navigate an ongoing lawsuit. Number one, acknowledge three things. Number two, adopt the marathoner's mindset. Number three, try not to catastrophize. Number four, follow your attorney's advice. And number five, be intentional about your environment. • • • So let me explain what I mean. • Um, your environment, your office, • • • can become • • • a place • • where the binder, the paperwork, the • tab on your computer, that is the • • • • Google Doc, where • • • • a lot of the different things are that are attached to this lawsuit. The visibility of the documentation, the visibility of the binder or the, the tab open of the Google Doc, • that is something that you actually have control over. Okay? And so I would strongly suggest that • if you have a binder, if you have a tab, if you have a Google folder, that when you're not actively working on it, that you, um, put the binder away in a drawer, physically put it away, that you close the tab and open a window. And I'll explain what I mean. You know, if you use Chrome or if you use Safari or Firefox or whatever you use, if you hover over that logo at the bottom of your computer screen • • and right click it, it's going to give you the option to open a new window. And you can open a window, put that stuff in there, • • open a couple tabs, the Google Doc, the Google folder, or whatever it might be, • • • • • • and then you can close the tab • • • • • • • • • on the window that is open all day on your computer screen. I strongly recommend, and I teach this, that that's where your email inbox should be as well, is in that window so that you can't just access it as easy, a little bit of friction between you and your inbox. But the other thing you can do is to, you know, once, • once this thing is settled or once you've gathered all the documentation and there's some milestone, you know, so the milestone is, is that all of the documentation from the school • • • • • is going to be taken to the attorney's office and dropped off. • • • Well, let's say that that binder exits your office. • • • • Maybe you have a copy of that binder, but of course you're going to stick that in the drawer. But that thing that was taking up space or that specific location in your office, I strongly recommend that when that binder • goes to the attorney, that you • • • replace it with a photo of a trip or of your family or your spouse or your partner, um, • with a bible verse or with a little posted of your compelling why or an inspirational motivational quote or something. I have a coaching client who. She was dealing with this • • pretty awful lawsuit. And, um, when that binder finally went to the • • • attorney's office, I encouraged her to replace it with a photo of her and her husband and this trip that they had gone on during the summer. And that actually helped her a lot. So these things have psychological weight, um, in our environment, and we need to be more intentional about our environment when it comes to this. We have our school to run. This is not the only part of our job. • • Um, and so I just strongly recommend that if you're not currently working on it, whether it's a tab and a window on your computer, or whether it's a binder, that these are • put away so that they are harder to see. • • Number six is ask for help. Um, I know that most of us All right, number six is ask for help. Um, I know that most of us, when it comes to, um, a lawsuit, an ongoing lawsuit, we're like, well, let's just keep it quiet. Let's just keep it low key, and we just suffer in silence. But • • some, you know, you can ask for help upwards, and that's the board chair or the other board member that maybe has a little bit of experience with litigation. • • • And, um, that's super important to ask for help upwards. But down, • • um, the chain, um, down the chart with either your leadership team, or if you don't have a leadership team and it's your teachers or your team, • your team needs to step up. And, you know, what does that look like? Well, • • • • • • when your brain is flooded with cortisol, which it will be when, you know, uh, • • meant much of the time when you're dealing with this, we don't think we're not cognitively as sharp as we are when we don't have a bunch of cortisol in our brain. And so we need, sometimes we need to get creative and think about what that looks like when we're not at school, you know, when we're in a better headspace. But one of the things that actually works really well, and this does take time, but it's worth it in the long run, is to. • • • • • • • And again, this is probably something for like the weekend, but to take like a piece of paper or Google Doc and just list everything that you do. Pull out. I know this is sounds crazy, but listen, • • • just write everything that you do, every task, every • • • part of your responsibility, everything you do. So you're pulling out your job description, you're pulling out the school calendar so you don't forget about events. You're pulling out everything, and you're just listing all of that stuff, okay? Just a brain dump. And then what you're going to do is step two is to take those things and put them in order of priority. And so let's say keeping kids and staff physically safe, you know, that's probably going to be number one or close to the top. And then you just list them all the way down to whatever the least important task is. • So let's just say for the sake conversation that you have 100 tasks on that list. • • • • You're going to draw a line one third of the way from the bottom. So if it was 100, it would be around 66. And then you're going to look at those • • tasks below the line • • • and you're going to start thinking about who besides me could do these tasks. • • • And so there's about 33 tasks there on our hypothetical list of 100 tasks. And it might be that only ten of those 33 that you could legitimately hand off. But I'm telling you, when you do this exercise, you're going to find • • that the bottom third of your priority • • ranked tasks, that most of them can be done by somebody else. We just have to be creative and we have to have the guts • to ask. And it takes a little courage to ask, especially ask busy people to do something more. But this is a season where you're much busier than usual because of this ongoing lawsuit. And the last thing that you need is to be put through the wood chipper of your school and this lawsuit and be a tiny little pile of sawdust on your chair. You're not any good to anybody, and so you need to ask for help. • • • Number seven, prioritize self care. And this is kind of a no brainer Okay, number seven, • • • • • prioritize self care. And this is kind of a no brainer. M, you know, if you've been listening to this podcast for any length of time, you know that we've talked a lot about self care and sleep and trying to eat, um, not • • • you, uh, know, trying to eat in. In an intentional way, as far as the things that we put in our body. Try to move your body, drink water, • • • engage, um, • • in mindfulness and gratitude and prayer and meditation. And you're like, yeah, right, I know all of those things, but doing them is another matter. When I'm in the throes of this stress, I get that. I understand that. But just to prioritize self care, because we tend to abandon our best practices for self care when we need them the most. • • • And I want to say that one more time because I want it to sink in, we tend to abandon our best practices for self care when we need them the most. • And one of the times that we need them the most is when we're paying the high emotional price of an ongoing lawsuit. • • • • Prepare to feel weird when this thing is over I also want to give you one quick bonus strategy. I've given you seven. Here's a bonus one. Prepare when this thing is over. • • Prepare not to feel the way you think you're going to feel. • • • So prepare not to feel relief. Prepare not to feel like you want to celebrate. Prepare to feel weird, and everyone is going to feel something different. But most people that I talk to and I, from my own experience, • • you don't feel like the way that you think you're going to feel, whatever that is. And so just prepare to feel weird. I prepare not to feel relieved or want to celebrate. And then you won't be disappointed when you don't feel like celebrating. It's just such a complex • • • • cocktail of emotions that you're navigating that when it's over, • • um, it's so different for every person as far as what you feel. And I think people are expecting to feel a certain way, and then they don't, and they think there's something weird with them. • • • M it's just. It's, uh, just very, very weird situation. And so just prepare • to not feel relief or feel like celebrating. Prepare to feel differently than you think you're going to. It's just one quick bonus strategy. Top six ways to protect your school from a lawsuit is a free PDF All right, so what are the big takeaways from today's episode? We're talking about the seven strategies to help you navigate • this long and stressful season in your school • and the high emotional price tag of an ongoing lawsuit. Number one, acknowledge three things. And what are those three things that we're acknowledging? We're acknowledging, first of all, that this sucks. We're acknowledging that this is a traumatic event. And we're also acknowledging that this is not about right and wrong and winning, because you could be right • • • • • and still have to settle out of court. • • • • Number two, adopt the marathoner's mindset. Number three, try not to catastrophize. Number four, follow your attorney's advice. Number five, be intentional about your environment. Number six, ask for help. And number seven, • prioritize self care. • • • So your call to action for this episode is to download this free resource called the top six ways to protect your school from a lawsuit. And again, it's a ten page PDF. There's no guarantee that your school will never be sued, that you'll never be engaged in litigation. But this is a common sense guide that can help you be more intentional and more proactive about your school, your campus, the safety of your campus, the your faculty, and m your employee and student handbooks and job descriptions, and just a lot of things that can help reduce that likelihood. • • Um, and you can grab the top six ways to protect your school from a lawsuit at the the privateschoolleader.com • • lawsuit. • • And I really appreciate you. I just. I know how busy you are, and the fact that you take some time out of your week to listen here means a lot. Um, if you got value from this episode or any episode, I would ask for a favor from you. And that is to just take the link of this podcast and share it with another leader, either at your school or at another school. And also to think about one person at your school that's an aspiring leader like you have a good eye for rising leaders and just share this podcast with them. Just share the link with them. • And so again, thank you so much for taking time out of your busy week to join me here today to listen. And I will see you next time right here on the private school leader podcast. And until then, always remember to serve first, lead second, and make a difference.
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Episode 104: The Emotional Price Tag Of An Ongoing Lawsuit
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