Episode 105 We All Know Fear

Episode 104: We All Know Fear We all know fear. We’ve come up short as the fear of rejection stopped us from being vulnerable with someone, or stopped us from creating a relationship, or stopped us from sharing ourselves or an idea. We’ve known the fear of failure as we’ve contemplated doing something risky and then done an about-face as the wash of “what-if-it doesn’t-work” engulfs us. Fear of failure, fear of the unknown, fear of rejection are internally generated. These fears come from evolution –based circumstances. A need to be part of a community (so not wanting to alienate others), a need to know outcomes (fear of the unknown), a need to survive. Fear of the dark stems from being in a space where our senses cannot inform us of what is around us. It’s very natural to fear not-knowing. Fear is a big part of the human experience, but facing fear is the only way through it. Stay tuned for a head-on tackle of this all too familiar topic. In order to manage fear and to gauge which actions we will take and which ones we won’t, we ask “What If” questions. What if I try this and I fail? What if it doesn’t work? What if I make a decision and in a few years I’m not happy? What if people think I’m stupid, or if I ruin my reputation? What if my idea is too elementary? What if I get told no? What if I get hurt? It’s normal to ask these questions. It’s how we gauge risk. But there is a point where these questions quit serving us and they simply hold us back, paralyze us, keep us small. Here are a few other questions to ask yourself after you’ve listened to all the self-preservation questions: What IF it didn’t work out? Does the world really end? Would I regret the courage and adventure of trying for this, of attempting to live bigger, of loving and risking for the life with the most potential? What if it DID work out? What adventures might I find along the way? What will I learn as I let myself focus on success instead of fear? What’s really possible if I chose courage and possibility instead of fear? Do I want to still be who I am and where I am now, five years from now? Let me share a personal story: A few weeks ago I headed out on a backpacking trip with nine other people into the Wallowa mountain range. You’ll remember Lydia McGranahan, the woman who found Annie Schmidt’s body and Marty Newey, the man in Annie Schmidt’s search party from episodes 73, 74 and 75. I was invited to join this group on their annual adventure because we all wanted to meet, and because we all love nature and adventures, and because with my experience as an outdoor recreationalist – being a hiking guidebook writer – they believed I would be up for the challenge. As did I. We carpooled to Oregon, a group of 9 people. I had four in my car, with every intention that we would be spending the next 5 days together in the mountains. The plan was that we’d start out with a 6-mile day, then a 12 mile, then a 5 mile, then a 10 mile and then a 4 mile with daily side hikes tacked on. Well, I have spent many years backpacking and I know my limits well. I know that with a full pack I can punch out 8 miles a day before my feet and resolve have worn out. But, I had really wanted to come with this group and I figured if Marty, who is almost 60 could pump out that type of mileage, I could push through it. I went in with hope, but by the end of day 1, which had actually turned out to be about a mile and a half longer than projected, I was at my max for the day and I didn’t want to think about getting up bright and early as the sun warmed my tent, strapping my pack back on my aching hips and shoulders, and kicking out an additional 12 miles. The pace would be grueling. We’d climbed 3000 feet with a full pack on day one. It had been a good day, but now we were at a beautiful mountain lake, 7.5 miles into the Wallowa-Whitman National Forest and setting up a base camp was what I would do if left to my own devices. I’d set