Episode 11 | Conflict in love, repair & why we marry our “unfinished business” with Jordan Dann

In this interview episode of The Trauma Educator Podcast, I’m joined by Jordan Dann, psychoanalyst, traumatologist, and educator whose work bridges depth psychology, attachment theory, and nervous system science. Jordan integrates Somatic Experiencing, Gestalt, and psychoanalytic perspectives to help individuals and couples transform unconscious relational patterns into conscious, embodied choice. Her work is grounded in the belief that experience—especially relational and somatic experience—is what reorganizes the self, a principle that also informs her course Relationship Transformation: The Art of Rupture and Repair. She is the author of Somatic Therapy for Healing Trauma and co-editor of Experiential Therapies for Treating Trauma, and she teaches clinicians internationally while serving on faculty at Gestalt Associates for Psychotherapy. Together we explore one of the most fascinating ideas in relational psychology: why we often end up partnering with our “unfinished business.” Jordan explains how early attachment experiences shape our love templates, why relationships oscillate between too much closeness and too much distance, and how rupture and repair can become the pathway to secure attachment. We also discuss the role of somatics in relational repair, why our nervous systems sometimes perceive our partners as threats, and how shifting the unconscious role we play in our relationship has the potential to trigger change in the relationship itself. The conversation expands into cultural influences on intimacy, erotic templates, a thoughtful discussion on the growing conversation around male loneliness in modern society, and how women can stop acting out the role of the rescuer in relationships with men who are not ready for emotionally mature connection. Workshop invitation: If you experience depression, I’m running an online workshop on March 18 on Freeze, Shutdown and Depression. Together we’ll explore how to use somatics, emotional energy, and soul work as pathways back to vitality. To find out more and to register, visit here https://courses.effiekli.com/freeze-shutdown-and-depression And if you enjoyed this episode, please don’t forget to follow, subscribe, rate, and share to help expand these trauma-educated conversations and bring them to more people around the world who need them.