Episode 11: Maybe Nurture Should Come First

Content warning: This episode discusses the Lindsay Clancy case, child deaths, suicide, postpartum depression, postpartum psychosis, and parental mental-health crises.The N in COPEN has always stood for Nurture—and I’ve always put it last. But after following the Lindsay Clancy trial and reflecting on my own experience with postpartum depression, I’m starting to wonder if I’ve had it backward.In this heavier episode of Notes Due at Midnight, I talk about maternal mental health, parental capacity, and what it really means when someone says they’re “drowning.” I also share a part of my own postpartum story that I haven’t talked much about: being diagnosed with PPD, finding myself in a difficult situation far from home, living with a friend while waiting on the Colorado court system, and trying to care for baby Theo while my own family was changing around me.As an occupational therapist, I spend my days teaching parents how to understand and regulate their children. But this case made me ask a question I should probably be asking much sooner:Who is taking care of the person doing all of the taking care of?Maybe Nurture isn't bubble baths and self-care checklists. Maybe it's support, sleep, asking for help, accepting help, professional care when it's needed, and having someone notice when you're not okay.Maybe before we ask parents to co-regulate their children, we need to make sure someone is helping support them, too.Nurture may be the last letter in COPEN, but from now on, I think it needs to come first.