Four improvisers have chosen to dawn their cooks brandish their say was in speak and terrible accents for your entertainment Past the Doritos grab your dice and go on a quest with Des Moines's best comedians as they do all of those things in Des Moines and Dragons Welcome everyone to Des Moines and Dragons and we have a very special episode today because we have in studio our narrator Clifton and Harbeck played by Tim guys. What's up? Hello? Hi?
It's 946 on a Wednesday D&D that's pretty ran. I'm so excited for this. It's my first time awesome. I'm so glad it could be with me So we'll just check in I'm always gentle.
I'm a cuddler I'm a nice guy, but not the gross kind of nice guy not the nice guy. That's really not a nice guy I'm a genuine nice guy, but we'll check in with our cast and see what they've been up to Tim Overton. Hi Paul What's up buddy? Not a lot hanging out in your basement hell.
Yeah, it's another day. I kind of feel like we should be drinking right now Yeah, that's we shouldn't I know it's early. It's some of us have work later, but some of us don't I'm not opposed Do you think they would mind it? No, I think so.
I think it would add. Oh, Clif's out there go getting getting some lunch meetings in Crushing it business So Tim yeah Harbeck what is uh, where's he at right now? What's he thinking about? Oh, well right now Harbeck is in the desert and he is Thinking about how he made a huge mistake and how This plan is really loose and he's not really sure if it'll work out, but he's hoping for the best and he's trusted his instincts in the past And it's taking him this far.
So he's just got to keep hoping that this will work out somehow. Yeah, I think it will I think it will Cliff so happy to have you in the Des Moines and Dragon studio today. Yeah, yeah, my basement Firstly, thank you for doing this secondly tell the folks at home a little bit about the character you're going to play For reasons that we'll get into in the intro section. He's been made mortal, but he looks a little different when he's not mortal He has a little bit of a story I guess the first question that I like to ask if this show was a movie who would be the actor that would play your character That would play me.
Yes. Um, it would be Brandon T. Jackson. Cool.
Yeah, he was the fawn from the lightning beef Mm-hmm, and he's also him traffic thunder. Yeah, cuz there's gonna be a definite like comedic element to this Oh, I mean, I'm a wizard, but I'm also what I think for so long like otherworldly beings are played so self-serious But like if you exist through space and time like yeah, and now that I'm in this realm. I'm here to have some fun I'm here. Awesome.
Cool. Yes, very cool. All right, and Cliff what have you been up to lately? Do you have any cool projects or anything you've been working on?
Oh, just catch the waves, too. Yep, we're gonna episode that I thought I lost I thought I lost all the files, but oh god found out that I did it Wow in it at that feeling. Yeah being like, ah, I messed up Like hours of work. Yeah, you cannot get back disappear.
Yeah that getting anxiety. Just thinking All right, I need to stop the recording save right now. I'm sorry. I brought that up That's okay.
Like that's what I'm really happy about is that I did not lose it. That's okay. Well, uh, that's that's what everybody's been I've been doing just been playing D&D for what seems like oh also want to shout out black streams black I was stream. That's what gets away comes out on.
Yeah, and also playing a lot of 2k. Oh nice You guys don't understand that is a grind. Yeah, like what it's turned into. I mean, yeah, and I mean you when you're playing to my player It's kind of like D&D because you have to increase a lot of your attributes You know, it's like oh do I want my lateral movement to go up or my stamina to go up see everyone thinks There's like only one kind of nerd but like whether it's fantasy football or like 2k basketball like everyone likes a good role playing element in a game Yeah, I have two players that I'm working on awesome.
Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. Okay.
Well, that's what we've been doing And we're gonna turn it over to our narrator to intro episode 11 and don't go anywhere. We'll be right back And there I was surrounded on all sides by the demonic creatures referred to in this realm as crab preachers Sending hails of lightning and streaks of fire. I fought back the horde on the border of the realm ocean and the world known as crisis I don't remember how long I thought years it felt like Eventually my luck ran out Appearing before me towering above the chitling masses was none other than the Megalia itself a demon prince who pays filthy to the demon Lord Gawk Antonov the hulking figure stood 20 feet tall and his body was covered in pitted kitten armor Its face was dusted in eyeballs from its forehead to its chin all of them weeping blood Cruel smile crossed its horrific face exposing long white needle teeth Leveling its gnarled and spiked blade at me its book Voila art I have seen it my father has seen it too You fall to me here and now banished from the realm ocean never to return With your death my patron will have access to all realms connected to this one is a saint is now inevitable I held the old staff in my hands tightly knowing in my heart that it spoke the truth Applied with as much courage as I could muster Demon from below I do not fear your patron I have sworn to the gods above that I will never allow your fallen kind to breach the realm ocean even in death I challenge you I saw the thing ripple its fingers along the sword's grip Anticipate the coming fight well then rail walker allow me to give you the death you ascended fools promised you The beast came at me. I had managed to repost the flurry of blows initially, but it was too strong Again and again it slammed the thorn blade into my casted shield with every hit my strength faded So I saw in my mind's eye a place Hope a friend way to save this realm and then blackness was a pounding headache and a foggy memory Seeking away home was the only thing on my mind, but where was home?
It was this door doing you we find baller out waking up Baller at your head hurts a lot You don't find that you're physically wounded, but your head is throbbing you come to on a cliff In front of you staring at you is an enormous lizard With a long spine coming out of its face and it's staring at you next to the lizard's face is a familiar figure You've met him before actually You've worked with him before it's harbeck thunder fist the cleric of the life domain Harbeck your your friends left hours ago you're standing with this gigantic creature trying to figure out what to do with yourself and suddenly this the Spine hunter perks its head up turns and you see this figure that wasn't lying on the cliff now lying there the figure is baller out Oh Baller out. Oh, what are you doing here? Oh, please stop talking, please. Hi Why are you yelling at me?
I'm sorry. What are you doing here? Am I in a dream of yours again? No, you're not in a dream.
Oh, okay this this Christ This is a desert oh Who know we're south of a lot We're close to Allah. What a sort of actually we're in the orc's territories, okay You do you need some help? Do you have any potions? I could whisper a healing word.
Yes, please, please. Let me one of those words Give it a soon and what does it look like when you cast healing word? So the the words escape my mouth and ripple across the air over to you and you feel a sense of relief Watch over your body as you are healed for for whole damage. So yeah, the headache washes away with the sound of hard X words Thank you.
Thank you. Mr. Thunderfist. Well, you're very welcome now.
What are you doing here? I think the fact that I'm here in something very very bad. I'm big. Oh, no You know, there was already some bad stuff happening before this happened.
So well, it's going to get a lot worse Well, well, this is my friend as I care Oh It lets out a rippling almost like a coup, but it's it's much lower What is a secure and ossa here is a spine hunter. They're these huge dragon-like creatures This is a big one. Yes, he's been the apex here for a minute a decade He we did battle with him and well His spine was removed. So I decided to say and I've been helping heal him and he still fly Oh, yes, yes, I've used my amping rope to create a harness and well, I've been working on that bit It's a it's a difficult Process they weren't designed to be right.
Okay. Well now that we're in this realm. I guess let's let's go get something to drink I'm posh this desert. It's very dry now.
Well, I have just the thing give me one moment and I cast Create food and water awesome. Yeah So I create just pounds of food and water 45 pounds of food and 30 gallons of water on the ground So you just make a huge puddle. Yes, there's there's now a 30 gallon puddle next to as a cure and us a little tiny oasis Excellent and it is bland but nourishing What a cool spell that literally has had no use until right now Yep Yes, I'm digging it's it's not much. You know, I'm not much of a cook.
Oh, wow, you're quite I'm great. Yes, you haven't had real food in Ions I was going to say you're not normally corporeal. Are you? corporeal right one of these crisis words.
Yeah me. Yes, you are Consistent of matter and body no longer a being of just energy or spirit. Yes. I guess I do have flesh now So What happened?
The last thing I remember I was in a battle fierce battle and then it all goes black and Then I started to see colors slowly Manifest in front of me and now we're here Well, that sounds kind of like the time that I slipped into our little meeting place at that one time a little bit back and oh, yes I do remember so you've been crossing dimensions. Yes. I'm sorry. I've lived so many lives They get a bit jumbled, but I do know that you are in danger.
I think that's all realm is in danger. Yes. Yes Yeah, that's that is true, but for now I've made a new friend and you're here. So that's good Well, I guess I need to test out this mortal body really see what I can do sure Do me a favor and try cracking one off at some of the spires around here I think they've got some rock in them that I'd like to have so the environment bollarot that you see so you're on top of what they call Locally spines, but you're essentially on these like the South Western US have these tall pillars of rock that have just been eroded by wind And dust over time, but there are a ton of these and they get they taper off and become extremely narrow towards the top They look like long spines that stretch out across the Badland wastelands The the area should kind of look and resemble the American Southwest red red dirt patchy brown prickly grasses and cacti Dot the landscape I cast a booming blade at one of the spine nice.
What does booming blade say? Part of this action the cast disvalue must make a melee attack with your weapon against one create within the spells range So essentially booming blade you put like a force of energy into whatever weapon you have and when you strike it like explodes that energy And whenever you hit okay, I character also has a dagger Yeah Grab the staff and I use booming blade on one of the spine nice So there's this pillar of rock in front of you and what does this look like when you when you do this cool move Booming blade is like a flash looks like a It's like just a half circle beam of green beam of light shoots out of the staff and cuts the spot It's got the spine in half and slides. Yeah, yeah Yeah, and then it crumbles to the ground And I think we get this look of the spine hunters face and harbeck as they both do that anime where their eyes go really wide And they just see the rocks only And then once it hits the ground it explodes. Yeah everything.
There's a large explosion Oh, yeah, but there's a delay on the boom perfect some of the rocks splashing to the pool of water Ah, okay, but that'll come in handy. It's not that bad Let's see Strive something a bit more difficult. I cast a firebolt into a cloud nice. Okay, so firebolt Read the description for firebolt You're the motor fire at a creature in how to clean range make a rain spell attack against the target on a hit the target takes 1d 10 fire damage a blendable object hit by the spell If it didn't be worn or carry so if I do this on a cloud can it make rain?
I think what it would it would just like dissipate the cloud or just like instantly evaporate the cloud and again It's not like an enormous Spirit bombs worth of energy. This is like a quick flash up of a small almost like a softball size bolt of fire So it looks like a little fireball. Yeah, just her lid up at the cloud and the cloud just goes away Yeah, it just dissipates into space. What time of day is this?
It's like early afternoon. I'd say cool It's like a flare. Yeah. Yeah Hopefully that didn't draw too much tension.
You're not under attack. Are you are big? Well, we were under attack from this guy But I think it's okay now. Mmm.
Yeah, yeah He knows us up against you. Oh, come on. Hey, um, aren't you supposed to be like Guarding the realms and such Yes, that's what I was doing before I got here. I didn't I tell you you were in grave danger.
Oh, yeah But I mean always well, I think I was in a battle guarding Guarding this realm fighting off those crab preachers. I didn't know what they were for a long time And then actually fighting them. It's they're pretty crazy. They're very vicious and terrible They have claws for hands and they snap very hard very pious.
Yeah, but Smashing them and I was keeping them away from this realm and that's when it all goes black No, hey sent you here against her will yes, that's rather surprising with a being of your power. It must be growing stronger Yes, well, I'm growing weaker. Well, we got to get you back Hmm, how do we how do we do that? Are you religious?
Oh, yes, very who's your god? Well, I'd rather not say it's personal You have to give this information to me if you want me to if you want me to get back you see I need I need to find a gate or maybe craft a way find You know what you know what that is at all. I know what gates are okay? Well I think we're gonna do a dilemma here.
I need a strong connection to one of your gods Alright, well, I mean I have my holy symbol here. It's today Gordon case an amber and use it to a tune with my deity Can you can you pray right now? Oh sure when we pray for just the usual. Let's pray for Clarity alright roll a religion for me.
Sure thing That's not gonna be great My religion it's a five So What is it? What does it look like? How do you pray like do you sit? So I heartache?
Meals by the pool of water they created and he holds his holy symbol nearest chest and he looks down and closes eyes and you can see his mouth moving and as it moves his Holy symbol begins to glow the amber light around the acorn starts to slip out between his fingers the baller out you see this all happen and the water ripples and the reflection in the water changes from you and Arbak to the visage of an elven woman She's of olive-conplemented skin and she has long black flowing rippling hair. She's got flowers in her hair And her features are extremely fey in their distinction. So she looks very she looks like a fairy and She looks to be speaking to you, but you don't hear anything her mouth is moving, but Harbak you can't hear her Which is strange usually when you have these visions and these interactions with her I mean she can't speak to you but for whatever reason She can't there's no words. Mm-hmm.
Either of you can hear what she's saying her mouth is moving But you can't hear what you're saying. No, she's she's being blocked somehow. My connection isn't strong here Well Maybe we need to get to one of your temples or rituals into this well in the domain of life Nature is my temple and the forest and trees are usually what I'm used to but out here in the desert It's barren and disconnected. I'm not used to the fauna on the floor right here.
Okay. Well, I guess it's off off to the forest I mean what so far I don't know how get there from here actually that's so turned around in the canyon that I don't really know where I am as a cure bows its head to you Harbak and nudges your shoulder and then points with its head That's north essentially. Oh, well, I think this one knows the way we could follow their lead Yes, let's follow the creature. All right the spine hunter adjusts its body plants its fourth claws on the ground and then lowers its right shoulder So taking up the rope that's tied from around its neck and some shoulder joints Climb up the side and get up to around the nape of his neck and I call back for a ballerine climb aboard All right, I just jump up there.
Yeah I don't so ballerite like you don't get many opportunities to experience Like when you realm walk you exist in like the spirit form So typically you don't aren't really able to physically interact with objects here again like a spear jumping was like really fun Feeling like the weight of this thing feeling its breathing below you like this huge engine of life is Probably thrilling for sure. Okay, and it writes itself. It lifts its shoulder back and you both feel the The ground beneath you leave and with two huge flaps of its wings The air fills with dust for a moment and then you're propelled backwards as the creature takes off and takes flight Here we go. Do you feel this?
Yes, it is one of life's many pleasures Oh So we see the camera pivots around and gets this like 360 degree view of the spine hunter flapping its its enormous leathery wings and YouTube flying on its back and the scene fades to black and Fades back up. It's later in the day the Sun. There's a few hours of daylight left and you can see hardback in the distance the Queens Garden ahead this enormous forest that it borders the southern territories the desert and like the kingdom of a lull It's like it's a huge forest. I mean we're talking like the redwood forests of California size and the spine hunter Glides and drifts and yeah, Harbick you see the forest ahead So the prosthetic that I made for this creature is starting to like come off from the flight I didn't do a very good job putting it together I used it from my shoulder pauldrons and my weapon to create a very crude thing and it's starting to like be shaken off of his jaw Yeah, and we're getting closer and we see the Queen's garden.
Oh, yes over there. I'm the Queen's garden We should be able to connect there the creature Slowly glides down tilts its massive frame and you feel it all at once scoop its body back and use its wings to flap and slow Come to a stop reaches out with its back claws and breaks itself on the ground comes to a screeching halt The inertia from your bodies you probably run into each other. Yeah from the from the stop Sun stop I think we just straight fall off because yeah like yeah in this that creature wasn't meant to be riled And then the yeah shoulder pauldrons breaks and you both fall to the ground Are you all right? Yes, I'm fine Alright now we're in the forest now.
This is oh what is this here? Grab one of the flowers that are growing out of one of the trees and I smell it Take it in the pollen goes in ballerits nose and sneezes. Yeah You're allergic Another of life's many pleasures What is this substance he licks the snarl that's coming out of his nose. Oh, it's slimy and salty.
Yes, it is a mucus Yes, kind of tasty essential to life All right now that we're here Is this a tree? Yes and several of them Ballerite you you can feel like you're this you feel the age of these trees like probably hundreds of thousands of years old They stretched 60 to 80 feet in the air their trunks are You know the diameter of a car like they're just enormous creatures or enormous trees Creature sure yeah, and your ants. Yeah Yes Lived a long life. I remember seeing this this one.
It was just an equal. It's crazy how how things just Go on without you. I beg yes, it is the way of life I find it keeps going and going and and going which is why this whole problem we face is a terrible thing because it stops going Oh, they'll be yeah There'll be more after it. I'll be oh, I've seen the end before seen the end many times So it just keeps ending to it's never ending ending.
Oh, oh, that's a bit reassuring, but I like this place Well, I like you. I like you too Ballerite. You're very noble. Well, I try Well, I trust that you will see this to the end with me correct topic.
Oh, yes I mean, I've lived a long enough life that now I can say you know screw it. I'll go out swinging That spirit is why I like you, arbic Alright, so how we get you back we need to find a gate or we're making a thing here. Yes. Yes.
Yes back back to the back Don't track um need to find a way find an object that allows one the ability to not only make riffs in realms But pass through and normally you would just do that by yourself. Yes You see my my staff here it used to be a way find but now it doesn't seem to have that ability anymore. Oh, well, so That's not good. I need to craft a new staff.
Okay. Well, we should be able to muster something here What do we need? We need a what we need a stick of some kind. Yes, this maybe maybe one of the oldest tree in this forest Let's look for that.
Oh well that I can do and um harbeck pulls up To the ground and sits cross-legged and he places one palm on the earth and another palm over his holy symbol and he connects with the root network of the trees and the mycelium network of all the fungus communicating with the trees and all the Plants and shrubs and things that are all speaking to each other in this forest and he tries to search the network for The oldest tree in the forest the thing that has the most connections so roll a nature or religion whichever is higher and roll it at adventure adventure adventure adventure Advantage for me. All right. What are they nature? What nature or uh religion whichever is high religion say it'd be 18.
Oh, okay, great You you see this uh Well, I guess what does this look like when you when you commune with them? Like what do you end up actually literally seeing? So out of darkness um like neurons firing you see the root network of the xylem and phloem Pulses of light being taken in from photosynthesis and converted into chemical signals that get sent through the root networks and Into the fungi and then all of that creates a web of um connections You can see like the general mass of the web and in a certain part of the web there's a denser connections of lights and a brighter source of light Um, and so kind of floating through that web of connections harvex looking toward the center brightest light in the the connections all right, so you find it's uh On the north Eastern edge of the woods. There's a plateau that rises up from the ground and this ancient tree with the roots that Distend and travel throughout this plateau.
This tree is uh As wide as a house and as tall as the tallest castle you've ever seen and it stretches out with bright green leaves And you can see it clearly that it sits on top of this plateau Few hours march east east from where you currently are All right, so I snap out of that and I point in the direction of where I saw things Ballerite just takes off running This way all right. Hey, I grabbed the rope around that uh ground around as a cure to spine hunter and I say well We might be able to fly here. We could maybe maybe we could fly Oh, are you coming? Ah As a cure shakes his head and pulls the rope back and you see him coil around his body.
He lays his head down quietly Okay, I'm coming ballerite turns around and runs back. What's wrong? I bet you not to run. I believe that you got it right?
Yes, it's just I'm coming So we uh we fade to black again on um ballerite sprinting off into the woods and harbeck like sprinting off behind him I must hey hey hey feel so alive when I do this yes Many pleasure Wait, Harvey. Do you see that? Where? Hey that hey over there as they look over there's a Light shining on a bush and the bush contains all of these berries maybe blueberries But not just any blueberries huge blueberries.
I haven't had a blueberry Ever I've only heard of them Well now is the time To go to have a break ballerite eyes are so big he slowly walks over to the bush and grabs uh Basically looks like a plum. It's such a big blueberry It takes a big bite Blueberry The juice is like spilled down your face like it's the sweetest most delicious tasting thing. Yeah. Oh my god Oh, harbec if you ever had one of these well that one of those and harbeck plex one needs it too And just juice running into his beard and all over his hair.
It's fantastically delicious. Oh Ah, yes, this alone is one reason to save this well still contains blueberries. Oh, yes. They are quite lovely Oh Right, it gets back to the tasket hand Oh Getting getting rather tired now.
Well, yes. I mean we have been running for quite a while your body is um full of Acid and you need to rest. Oh Can I get on your back? May I?
I uh Well Okay, all right So, yeah, what is this yeah climb on and we're obviously like different sizes So I curl up into the fetal position and climb on harbec's back trying to situate myself on his bag and his all his belongings This is this is nice. Well, I mean if you say so all right onward, okay to the oldest tree in the forest, all right Not much further here Uh like a half hour passes of marching through the underbrush You're just pouring sweat harbec All right I think I can get get a get the rest of the way. Hey good nap And uh you you step off of harbec's back And yeah You take two steps and you see right in front of you is the gigantic plateau that holds this ancient tree Ballerite gets on his knees puts both hands on the tree close his eyes and At temp to ask the tree if it's okay, but is it ready to to die now to become something great? Oh, awesome.
So yeah again There's this huge tree on top of this plateau has all of these roots that weave their way through the rock and the soil of the plateau And there's like a little root that sticks out that you place your hand on to and uh you feel an Impossibly old and ancient intelligence within the tree. Sorry. What did you ask it specifically? Is it ready to die?
Harbec uh, well, what are you doing as you see uh Ballerite approach the tree. I'm recovering from carrying him and just deep breathing Yeah, and uh as I'm doing that I look up and take in the whole tree And I clutching my hoi symbol and trying to test the connection The the connection here feels extremely strong. I think this is it ballerite you hear a voice in your head an old wise ancient voice Ballerite You seek a way back Yes I do I need to create a waveform And it seems like you have most spiritual energy to create that and I can hear all the trees settle suddenly and become quiet around the whole area But I will not end your life if you are not ready to go I am ready, but Beware You are not Alone and at the word alone you hear the sound of crashing trees and underbrush as an enormous Shambling mound appears from the woods rolling towards you a uh, shambling mound sometimes called a shambler, uh, is the rotting heap of animated vegetation uh, looms up twice as tall as a human into a faceless head at its top And uh, everyone rolled initiative which is a d20 and then you add your initiative and then tell me what the number is 17 All right ballerite got a 17, uh harbec 20 Nice 15 All right, so harbec you go first you see this shambling mound tumbling and rolling like a title wave of undead Underbrush rotted leaves dicks moss mushrooms At first, I'm like, oh cool because it looks so cool. Um, and then I want to cast Destroy undead Wait, wait, that apply right would I know looking at it like this alert roll nature for me cool nature Oh, yeah, that's uh 18.
Uh, it is not technically undead. It is technically a plant So that would not work technically a plant got it. Sorry. No, no worries Uh, so then in that case I want to just go with sacred flame.
Okay, and that's the deck save for you Uh, I fail. So what happens 2d8 damage roll it That's an 8 and a 4 is 12 12 damage. Yep So you see this thing burst into flames, but the wetness of the leaves and the rot uh old undergrowth Uh, have the damage it looks like he is resistant to fire damage. No, how about radiant damage?
Uh, he's not resistant radiant damage. Does it do radiant damage? Yes. Okay, perfect.
So then it does Awesome. All right, next up a uh Out from underneath it two little shambling mounds appear from underneath the uh, roiling soil They're like the size of a small dog But they've they're covered in sharpened sticks that are pointed and they roll towards Uh, well one of them rolls towards you bahler out and uh, he's going to try to attack you So this is where i'm gonna roll an attack and i have to beat your ac of 16 And I rolled a 16, uh, plus my attack of two Means I hit and you take Uh, you take six damage so you just subtract six from 44 and that's your current health Uh bahler out your turn I take that hit. I jump backwards and I fire a booming blade after the shambling mound Okay, so booming blade let's uh actually here if I get That isn't a candle Uh, can you can you read booming blade for me again? Sorry?
That's part of the action we use to cast the spell you must make a melee attack with your weapon against one Create within the spells range otherwise the spell fails one hit The target must The target's often detects the normal effects and it becomes sheath and booming energy until the start of your next turn The target will move before then it immediately takes one v8 under damage in the spelling Nice, okay, so basically what you'll do is you will just make a regular attack So, oh not that one. Sorry. Where's your main sheet? Yep, so Uh, we'll use let me fix your sheet real quick get you a quarter staff Plus six Yep It is actually a your so to roll to hit you need to roll a d20 first Yep, go ahead and roll that Five and then you add uh your attack roll of your staff 11 11 So your 11 needs to beat whatever his armor class is and his armor class is low so you do actually hit Cool They're just like these little mud piles basically with sawed and grass and stuffs and sticks sticking out of them So you hit now you do damage which is uh One d6 plus three so you just roll a d6 and then add three eight nice And since you did booming blade if he tries to move or take any action He's going to suffer another d8 thunder damage He's basically hit him and you cover him in this like thunderous vibrating energy So he tries to move he runs into that and takes damage Nice Nope that and that's your turn next is the giant shambling mound first turn Yeah Uh, good move.
Yeah, no, that was good. The shambling mound is going to multi attack It's going to attack harbeck. Uh, oh 17 plus Seven, so that's a hit You take You take nine damage harbeck. Okay.
Oh and you are now grappled. So this thing wraps you up in it's uh in this churning soupy dirt soil mix and you find yourself struggling and he picks you up and slams you into the ground again Um, but he uh, he doesn't swing it right and you don't take any damage from the um from the slam Bunch of mucks flies into my face And another one of the little shambling mounds is going to attack bollarat And he rolls a 15. What's your ac bollarat? Okay, so he does not hit so this another little shambling mound rolls at you with its pointed sticks sticking right towards your knees And you just step over it and it misses Harbeck your turn top of the turn order again.
So i'm currently in its grass. Yep. I want to uh, I guess Uh, you know, uh I'm okay with the muck in the mire. So i'm just gonna hang out inside of this creature and cast sacred flame from within Okay Uh, so I need to make a dex save.
Yeah, god dammit So I rolled a four. So now you do damage again. Yeah, yeah, I do Not great. Uh, five.
Okay Now it is oh and then as a bonus action I can do healing words. So i'm gonna do that and i'm gonna go bollarat Um in for the main guy if you can that Yeah, and you can talk as a free action that does talk as a reaction Yep, and then yeah, my so my healing word would be like you can do it and that's um like before Um with all my stuff. That's a 10 So bollarat heals for 10 hp nice Uh the shambling mound that you attacked bollarat that took the uh, the booming blade moves to attack you So it's gonna take d8 thunder damage. So roll a d8 for me Two damage.
Okay Not great, but it's now bloodied which means it has less than half health left and it's going to Uh hit it rolls an 18 which beats your ac and then it does Four damage to you bollarat. Yeah, so you got healed for 10. How much was that right time? Yep, so you went back up to full and then you took four so you should be at like 40 Bollarat it is your turn well i'm going to Jump back and then I do a hand motion.
I do some kind of a hand signal and i'm gonna Yeah, you've got limitless options. Um if you have questions about how the spells work You cannot throw two firebolts You can only throw one because uh in a turn you get a movement action a main action and a bonus action A movement action is self-explanatory. You can move your speed which is 30 feet A main action means you can attack Uh and then a bonus action is uh most spells are not bonus actions or main actions Do a hand motion and then you cast the sleep spell Ooh Sleep so This spell sends a creature into a magical slumber of 5d8. The total is how many hit points of creatures the spell can affect Oh nice Each creature affected by the spell falls unconscious until the spell ends The sleeper takes damage or someone uses an action to shake or slap the sleeper awake Undead creatures immune to being charmed aren't affected by the spell And none of these are immune to charmed So you roll literally uh 5d8 hit dice 5d8 dice and give me that total when you roll all of them Five times yep Yep, so you roll five Eight sided dice or you can roll a eight sided dice five times Take that total and tell me and I take that number and subtract hit points from each creature And once they hit zero they fall asleep So you rolled an eight and a two seven So 17 But what?
21 And the last one Seven So overall you Uh did 29 points of sleep so and we start with the creature with the lowest amount of hit points first So the uh shambling mount you were attacking was bloodied and only had 10 hit points left So subtract 10 from your uh over your total of 29 so now you have 19 left So the shambling mount you were fighting just like spreads out in flattens and falls asleep The other little shambling mount has the next lowest amount of hit points has 18 So subtract 18 from your 19 and it also falls Wow Yeah, you just slept in both and so now Well, there's the big giant one that tim harbeck is fighting and the two little ones you just rendered unconscious So nice good turn. All right, very nice Uh That was ballerot. So now it is the sh well those two are unconscious. So now it is the shambling mount So the shambling mount is going to try to engulf you harbeck In gulf the shambling mount engulfs a medium or smaller creature grappled by it You are the engulf target is blinded restrained and unable to breathe It must succeed on a dc14 con saving throw at the start of each mount's turn or take 2d8 bludgeoning damage The mound moves the engulf target moves with it the mound can only have one teacher engulf at a time So, uh, I think it just does it.
Yep Okay, so you need to succeed on a constitution saving throw or take 2d8 damage. Okay I rolled a wand. Oh shit. All right.
Yeah, so you're super Yeah, you see everything go black and you become your nose fills with soil and uh, you just become Buried alive. Yep in this giant piece of rotted earth. Oh, no Yeah, you see harbeck just gets swallowed up by this thing Harbeck it's your turn. So you are going to try to resist to break out of the grapple is all you can do Uh, so we're making an opposed athletics check whoever gets higher total succeeds.
Okay. No, no I rolled a 11. I rolled an eight. Okay.
So you remained restrained by this thing And then Okay, the start of the mounds turn you take damage. So now it is ballerot stirred Okay Looking around wondering what to do because I can't hurt this thing now because it has harbeck in it right? Not necessarily. No, you can hurt it for sure.
Yep from within you here Okay, well, I speaking of tree bukkake Okay, I'm gonna fire green flame blade edit Jump up Throw the staff fire green flame blade. It says that it's a d8 fire damage to the target and the fire damage To the second creature increases to 18 d plus your spell casting ability modifier. Okay. So that spell is Basically meant to if you if they're creatures like in a line or in a group you can hit multiple creatures with one spell Trying to cut it in half.
Okay, so yeah So how do you do you just attack with your spell? So? You must make a melee attack with a weapon again. Okay, so you basically same as before you're gonna roll a d20 add your staffs Like attack.
Yep, so d20 plus six So Not enough. It's acs 15. So The the blade this green light comes out and the the shambling mount just absorbs the damage and it doesn't do anything the spell fizzles No, it's body is a weak harbeck you take 2d8 damage. Oh, oh two plus Oh two plus two.
So you just take four four you take eight damage swag swallow some dirt and rocks and stuff You're gonna have you're gonna have a bad poop later pretty normal for harbeck. Yeah real real rough poops. Yeah Um So now it is top of the turn order hard my turn. Yeah resist.
Yep. I posed athletics again. Gosh darn it Um, I rolled a five. I rolled a 10 You did it.
Yeah, you become free. We so I like it. Look like I get like birthed out of this thing I just come out of its back end and like covered in muck and dirt and like spitting out chunks of earth and I hit the ground and I say Power out to ow Sorry, arbic I've just bought his mother's wrong as I thought it was Uh harbeck if you you don't have a movement action, but you still have a main action if you would like to do something. Okay, great I would like to do something.
I'm going to um, what's the condition of this monster? Uh, it is it's not bloodied yet So it's still above half health. Awesome. So I'm going to um cast um spirit guardians Oh, okay And uh dig this so I call forth spirits to protect me they flip around at a distance of 15 feet for the duration If you are a good or neutral or spectrum form of pure is angelic or fey Um, so when I cast a spell I can designate any number of creatures I can see to be unaffected by it An affected creature speed is halved in the area and when the creature enters area for the first time on turn or starts It's turn there.
It must make a wisdom saving throw on a failed say if the creature takes 3d8 radiant damage Honest success will save you take half as much So it's basically as long as it's fighting you yeah, it's gonna have to in this 15 foot area up to 10 minutes as long as i'm concentrating On my holy symbol so uh, we haven't had to use this before so when you're casting a spell And it's like continues to exist after your turn if you are attacked You have to make a concentration check to make sure that you don't get distracted in the spell fizzles Which is a constitution save. Okay, um, but I I wonder I well never I will get to that. So that's hardx turn brawler out your turn Uh, I'm gonna Wave my arms around in the air in this giant yellow lasso appears I'm gonna throw a lightning lure on the shambling mount a big ham mount. Yeah, so The target must succeed on the strength save throughout to be pulled up to 10 feet in a straight line towards you and take a 1d8 lightning damage if it's five feet with Okay, so I need to make a strength save and I rolled a natural 20 wow yeah So so it like rafts around the the lightning lure and just like the spell just disintegrates like clenches and the spell just dissipates Oh my god the magic near the tree is powerful These centuries are strong the shambling mount turns to you brawler out and goes to slam you and try to engulf you 15 what's your AC Damn it.
Yes So now it is hardx turn great. Um, I'm going to cast sacred flame again. I'm gonna get some distance from this thing cast sacred flame Okay. Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah, that's on his turn. Yeah. Yeah, so deck save. Yep Uh 11 minus 1 is 10 so fails fails so you take A whopping eight radiant damage Okay, um, it is bloodied all right now.
It is the shambling mount's turn so it takes has to make a wisdom save. Yeah rolls the six so it fails. Yeah, so now 3d8 damage Five all right one two two okay Uh, so the little flitting fairies of light just like swarm around this thing and start And are they shooting like lasers at it or is the hit they like swarm in and you can't tell but it seems like they're almost like biting at it cool um brawler out your turn I Jump in the air make a spirit bomb like yeah move and form this giant ball of Acid yeah giant ball of acid and I throw a chromatic orb at the shambling mound. Let's try something a little bit stronger than arbic Yeah What is uh, what does chromatic orb do?
It takes the creature it takes a 3d8 damage of whatever the type of thing that shows nice Yeah, so it's not resistant to acid so it'll do full damage so roll it d roll it d20. I'm sorry 15 nice and I so your attack roll for spells is you roll a d20 and then add your Spell attack bonus, which is six so 21 which way beat his armor class. So now you do damage with chromatic orb So whatever chromatic orb says it does for damage. That's how much we roll and do Yeah 14, okay Yeah, so you do a ton of damage to this thing.
What does the chromatic orb do to it? What does it look like when it does damage to it? So it starts just melting pieces off of the Chamblin mound the arm melts all the way, but it's still halfway up But it's trying to walk and step back because now it has half a arm and half a leg Sweet. Yeah, it's it is getting close to death Few more good attacks and it should fall but it is the Chamblin mounds turn and it is going to try to roll over and Swallow harbeck again.
Oh man God damn it rolls a seven plus Seven is 14. I don't think hits. No, um, so harbeck like rolls into same formation rolls out of the way Just tucking roll. Yeah, yeah, um, it's gonna multi attack so it'll attack you again harbeck And it rolls a nine.
So 16. Does that be your AC? No Not with my shield and chain mail harbeck your turn So oh, I'm sorry. I needed to make a wisdom.
Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, my bad Uh, and it passed. So does that mean it takes half? Yeah half damage Which is a roll 3 8 and half six and a seven and another six so 19 half half rounding up think so nine Yeah, yeah, yeah All right, the creature the shambling mound is on death's door.
Yeah, she means one good one more good hit and it should die And it's my turn. Yes, great. I'm going to uh, take out my uh hand axe from my side off my belt and walk up to this thing and Brush the dirt off me and I'm going to try to hit it with my hand axe Cool And I roll a one So, uh, maybe you miss that there's like an old rotted root emanating out from it And it's going to it yanks that your leg pulls you down And then a big it's it's arm that still it did not get melted lifts up into the air to slam into your face And it rolls a three so you roll out of the way as this big Hand is rotted thing of leaves hits the ground baller out your turn. Can you kill this thing?
Let's see I'm gonna hurt the fireball that it yeah So step back baseball throw Fastball want to hit the target takes one d 10 fired image. All right d 20 plus six threes 14 It's armor class is 15. So the so maybe like um At the last moment like harbeck gets in the way so you have to like curve it But watch out And the shambling mound turns to face you baller out and it's going to swing its huge rotted arm at you God and it rolls nine plus seven is 16 So if in just because the rhyme is easy if it meets it beats So meets your armor class it beats your armor class. So you take 2d8 plus four damage seven Five is 12 plus four you take 16 damage Yeah, so you get like tossed aside This is the mass of this arm hitting you knocks the wind out of you and you feel it maybe crack or strain a few ribs Oh pain hurts really bad Oh nice pleasures call up some blood A little bit of blueberry um still still sweet And it's my turn again.
Okay, and I'll cast sacred flame. All right dexterity save Roll the five so I fail sweet if you roll more than an eight you kill it. I roll the one and an eight Wow you kill it by one point. All right.
How does this thing die harbeck? What does it look like? So we're all like upended fireballs flying around ballerach just took a huge root to the chest and I'm like upside down and Stick my hand out and cast sacred flame and the light comes Shooting out and it just blasts this thing's like rough shape of the head um blowing it off its shoulders and the light like Shines down and then fades away and the whole thing just collapses into a pile of rubble and roots and grass and things Beautiful and with that we're gonna take our first break You know don't go anywhere. We'll be right back with part two and the harbeck and ballerad adventures don't go anywhere