Episode 123 - Freshly-Squeezed Ghost

Send us Fan MailMoroni brings us Alvin’s Afterlife Amaretto Amalgamation, a cocktail built on two shots of Amaretto, Porter's Peach whiskey, lemon juice, orange bitters, simple syrup, and topped with soda water. It’s sweet, a little cough-syrupy if you don’t stir it right, and surprisingly tasty once balanced out. The name comes from D&C 137, where Joseph Smith has a vision of his brother Alvin in the celestial kingdom.Scriptures: [00:24:31] Abish covers D&C 136 and 137. Section 136 comes from Brigham Young in 1847 at Winter Quarters, when the Saints were freezing, starving, and watching their neighbors drop dead in droves. God (conveniently through Brigham) commands the Saints to organize into neat little companies with captains, share provisions, repent fast, and stop swearing about their oxen dying. Zion, the revelation insists, isn’t just a destination but the “friends we made along the way”—with a side of martyrdom PR for Joseph and Hyrum. Section 137 rewinds to an 1836 vision Joseph had in the Kirtland Temple, where he saw Alvin chilling in the celestial kingdom despite never being baptized. This cracked open the doctrine of proxy ordinances and baptisms for the dead. Abish points out how much of this section was retroactively cobbled together from Joseph’s diary and later scribes, making it less a prophecy and more a posthumous PR edit.Church Teachings: [00:44:17] aaaAAAaaa decides to “take it easy” on the team by running a text-based RPG called Choose Your Salvation: A Zion Text Adventure. Spoiler: no one actually had fun. Set at Winter Quarters, the game required everyone to make “righteous” choices—obeying captains, singing “Come, Come Ye Saints,” testifying to doubters, reaffirming the Twelve, redistributing flour, and bearing witness that Zion will be redeemed. Wrong answers resulted in losing toes, getting crushed under Relief Society bonnets, or dying of poor planning. Eventually, the party “dies,” only to be resurrected into a Spirit World expansion pack, where Alvin waves from a celestial loveseat and a glowing receptionist angel chirps through onboarding. The whole thing is chaotic, hilarious, and a pitch-perfect parody of Mormon gamified obedience.History: [01:05:05] Abigail introduces us to one of the strangest fundamentalist spin-offs yet: The Righteous Branch of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Founded by Gerald Peterson Sr. after the assassination of Rulon Allred in 1977, Peterson claimed Allred’s ghost (fresh off the murder scene) laid hands on his head, healed his back pain, and ordained him “the one mighty and strong.” Soon after, he doubled down with appearances from Adam-God, Joseph Smith, Jesus, and basically the whole celestial Avengers lineup. With divine backing secured, he launched his own sect in literal nowhere—Modena, Utah (population ~15). Abigail details their tiny temples (trailers with baptismal fonts), leadership mirroring Salt Lake’s structure, and bizarre relocation to a Nevada outpost near the world-famous Clown Motel. She spices it up with tangents on ghost chiropractors, spiritual Coachella, Mormon Hydra schisms, and the surreal spectacle of this ghost town church trying to play dress-up as Zion.Follow us on Insta @gr8_and_spacious, Twitter @gr8andspacious, Discord (https://discord.gg/pdeXSQdga) and Reddit u/gr8_and_spacious for behind-the-scenes shenanigans, hilarious memes, and maybe even a sneak peek at our next episode..If you've got a burning question, a hilarious anecdote, or just want to say hi, shoot us an epistle at [email protected] don't forget to like, subscribe, and leave a review of our podcast!Support the show