Episode 139: Q&A with Victoria: Toddler Walks, ‘Fat & Frumpy’ Thoughts & Feeling the Fear in Eating Disorder Recovery

n this episode of Fly to Freedom, I’m back with Victoria for another honest Q&A on the realities of eating disorder and anorexia recovery – from parenting a toddler in the city to grieving a soul dog, coping with extreme hunger, and facing fear foods.We explore:Walking vs compensation when you’re a mumCan you still walk everywhere with a toddler when you’ve quit compulsive running? We talk about honestly checking your motivation, using public transport where you can, and why “perfect recovery” (never moving) isn’t real life – especially with a small child.The ‘fat and frumpy’ phase & lost motivationHow calling yourself “fat and frumpy” keeps you stuck, the difference between preference and moral judgement about body size, and why motivation is unreliable. We look at choosing freedom over thinness, dressing the body you have now, and remembering that weight gain is a sign of healing, not failure.Triggers: avoid them or sit through them?We explain comfort, stretch and panic zones and how to push yourself without re-traumatising yourself. Diet talk, social events and other triggers become teachers, as you practise boundaries and still move forwards.Who am I without my eating disorder?When the ED has been your main coping mechanism, it’s normal to feel like you don’t know how to “be you.” We talk about inner child work, self-compassion, trusting that your authentic self emerges as you remove coping behaviours, and allowing curiosity instead of perfection.Extreme hunger, hypermetabolism & “eating crazy amounts”We normalise huge appetite early in recovery, talk about hypermetabolism, and why fast weight gain can actually shorten the most agonising part of the process. Your biology is trying to save your life – not sabotage you.“Is it okay to just eat snacks?”Is it genuine preference or avoidance of meals and fullness? We suggest experimenting with both meals and snacks, following the fear, and noticing whether your choices are driven by freedom or control.Fear you’ll never be happy in a weight-restored bodyBoth of us share how we once believed happiness depended on staying small, and how we’re now the happiest we’ve ever been in bodies we wouldn’t necessarily choose aesthetically. We reframe the goal from constant happiness to deep contentment and encourage collecting daily “glimmers” of joy.Grieving a soul dog & the ED pullWe discuss why big emotional pain wakes up old ED pathways, and how this is also your chance to rewire them: mechanical eating when appetite vanishes, huge compassion, and letting grief be proof of love.The moment you freeze before a scary recovery actionWe share practical tools for the exact second you want to back out: predicting and writing down what your ED will say, using humour and anger to separate from the ED voice, and adopting a “feel the fear and do it anyway” approach.This episode is for you if:You’re in eating disorder or anorexia recovery and trying to live real life (kids, work, city living) without falling back into compensation.You’re stuck in the “fat and frumpy” stage and wondering how on earth to keep going.You’re afraid of triggers, grief, or big emotions pulling you back into old behaviours.You’re terrified you’ll never be happy in a weight-restored body.You want lived-experience, straight-talking reassurance that you are not doing recovery “wrong.”Resources mentionedFeel the Fear and Do It Anyway by Susan JeffersThe Eating Disorder Recovery Circle – my online community with courses, workshops, Q&As, the Feelings Navigator and daily support for every stage of recovery: https://www.edrecoverycircle.com/join