Episode 14: Crossworlds

Pop some No-Doz for this one – we go from best to worst in a single week! We’re dialing our time machine back to 1996 for the much-ado-about-nothing film Crossworlds. Ah, the 90s. It was a simpler time, as the horribly dated CG will show you. Plot and logic were also out the window, because when you have an artifact that lets you travel the multiverse, why NOT waste it dicking around in the desert and an office building the whole time? Josh Charles fizzles as a too-reluctant hero who’d rather stay at home and not pay his parking tickets, Andrea Roth tries to channel Cynthia Rothrock’s karate kicks, but can only execute them at a Cleopatra 2525 level, and Rutger Hauer fails as the mentor who’s on his asshole period. Add in a supervillain with demigod-like powers, but no idea how to use them and you get a movie that’s way more fun to talk about than watch. Love it or hate it though, don’t puke around here – you’ll turn inside-out.