Episode 145: Observing Anxiety Dynamics In Relationship

When anxiety rises in the relationship, each person’s automatic anxiety management patterns start to get easier to see. One member of the relationship starts to go into fix-it mode and the other starts to shut down. Perhaps instead of talking to each other about the present points of friction, we start to complain to third parties. It may become so predictable that you already know who your partner will go to first to complain about you to. On the flip side, they probably know who your first go-to person is to. If we have children together then we may find that to distract from the growing distance and tension we become overly involved in our children's lives. This episode looks at some of these autopilot patterns for the purpose of giving us more clarity and control in continuing to work towards healthier relating. This episode draws from some Bowen Family Systems theory and in particular Bowen Family Systems author Roberta M. Gilbert. I would certainly recommend her work when seeking to have a better understanding of the patterns that drive our relationships and family system.