Episode 148: How to Keep Monogamy Hot, with ”Swing” Author Ashleigh Renard

"I really think that none of us has to be as scared of ourselves as we are. We don't have to be worried that we're going to turn into monsters." ~ Ashleigh Renard Are you married or in a long-term relationship? Have you ever thought about what life would be like if you weren't in that relationship? If we're honest, most of us have had moments where we fantasize about being free of obligations–and sometimes, that even means a marriage. But rather than examine why we're feeling that way, we shame ourselves into acting like everything is okay, even when it isn't. Ashleigh Renard, this week's guest on the Brilliantly Resilient podcast, notes that feeling like something is missing doesn't make us awful people. In fact, we're obligated to pause and consider what we want, what's working and what isn't–for everyone's sake. When we're honest, we can fix things, not just so they're better, but great. Through her book Swing and her Keeping It Hot viral video series, Ashleigh offers tips and strategies about how to stay connected, renegotiate marriage and most importantly, keep monogamy hot! (Whhaaattt???!!!)  Hilarious and heartfelt, Ashleigh is full of wit and wisdom and urges us to ditch the martyr-mom (twin sister of the supermom), and pay attention to ourselves. (She took her first step to personally do so by promising to heed her body and go to the bathroom when she needed to. Any other women out there holding it until you're ready to burst because someone needs something from you? Raise your hands, ladies!) Hear more from Ashleigh on this week's episode of the Brilliantly Resilient podcast and be sure to listen for these additional bits of Brilliance: We take action on autopilot because we don't have to make decisions. It feels safer; you don't want to rock the boat. So often we push away from each other because we are pushing away from ourselves. Have radical compassion for yourself. Maybe there is no bad guy here. The only way to move is to be on your path and say, 'I'd like you to join me.' But we can't go back and try to pull them along. So often we push away from each other because we are pushing away from ourselves. Ashleigh Renard (https://ashleighrenard.com/) Let's be Brilliantly Resilient together! Kristin and Mary Fran