Episode 15: You’re Not Setting Boundaries, You’re Testing People (And It’s Backfiring)

Send us Fan MailIn this episode, Lauren and Vicky call out one of the most common (and uncomfortable) patterns in healing: believing you’re setting boundaries when you’re actually testing people.They break down how passive expectations, unspoken needs, and silent resentment keep you stuck in the same cycles, especially in relationships where you’re hoping someone will finally show up differently without you ever having to say it directly.This conversation builds tension as they explore the gap between what we say we want and how we actually communicate it, and why that disconnect leads to disappointment, confusion, and emotional burnout.If you’ve ever felt frustrated that people “should just know, because it's common sense," or found yourself waiting for behavior to change without clearly naming your needs, this episode will hit.In this episode, they cover:🔑 The difference between boundaries and unspoken expectations🚩 Why “testing” people creates resentment (on both sides)💔 How passive communication keeps you stuck in toxic patterns😬 The emotional risk of being clear,and why we avoid it✅ What real boundaries actually sound like in practiceClarity feels vulnerable, but it’s the only thing that actually creates change.If this episode resonated, share it with someone who’s been struggling to feel heard in their relationships, and make sure to follow the show so you don’t miss what’s coming next.If this episode hit for you,you need to listen to Episode 10 next.That’s where we break down emotional labor and what happens when you become the one carrying the entire relationship…which is often exactly where this pattern leads.Make sure you’re following the show so you don’t miss what’s coming next.If this resonated, send it to someone who’s been feeling this but couldn’t quite put it into words.Support the showFollow us on -IG @u_haulandunpackTikTok @uhaul.unpack.podcastJoin the Unpack Crew for Free!