Episode 1560 - Wolfgang Van Halen

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What the fuckers? What the fuck buddies? What the fucking aliens? How's it going?

I'm Mark Merrin. This is my podcast, WTF. Welcome to it. What's happening with you?

Today on the show, I talk to Wolfgang Van Halen. He is Eddie Van Halen in Valerie Bertinelli's son. And he's a fucking amazing musician. I learned a lot about him.

Look, I knew about his dad because I remember, I guess, what year did that come out? That first Van Halen record? I don't know, man. It must have been.

I feel like I must have been a sophomore in high school. Freshman or sophomore in high school, I could do the math. But it was around there. The reason I know I wasn't a senior is because I remember walking, I had to walk through the senior parking lot to the dirt lot where we could park.

And I just remember the windows of cars open, just playing Van Halen's eruption. And it was like it was a seismic shift in the cultural universe. It just everything changed when that first Van Halen record came out. And around the time, I remember like maybe a year later, then, you know, Salton's a swing came out.

There's a lot of things going on. Musically, like I remember like freshman year, there's a lot of foreigner around. Whatever was going on, and you know, there was some new wave stuff, and I didn't really walk into the punk stuff, but there was no way to avoid Van Halen one. It was everywhere.

The only other time I remember that happening is when I was in New York City, I guess the early 90s when Nirvana's Nevermind came out, and everywhere you went, it was there. But that was the same with Van Halen one. And I remember I went to see Van Halen on their first tour, and that was a, I didn't see him. I remember it's an odd thing.

I remember the opening band, I think, was called The Cats, if that's possible. And I remember some kid that I didn't know that well, that may be nervous. He was not, he wasn't scary in a physical way, but you know, he was a little tweaky and a little intense. And I saw him, I had good tickets because I think my dad knew the promoter or something.

And we're down the floor, and that kid gave me a pipe. I took a hit out of it. And then I don't remember much of anything. I think I ended up on the floor, which wasn't unusual in high school, but I missed the entire Van Halen set.

So I wish I could say that I had my mind blown by Van Halen, but I didn't. I had my mind turned off by something in a pipe and probably a mixture of other alcohol and other drugs. But nonetheless, I don't want to get off rambling about Van Halen because I'm talking to his son. And you can't avoid talking about that.

There's a new, uh, behind the music about Wolfgang and just about him dealing with his father's passing and their relationship. And he, and it was a beautiful thing. You know, this is a solid kid, this kid, and an amazing musician. His most recent record is called Mammoth Two.

He's on tour in the US and Canada in August. And I just had a lovely conversation with him. But you know, a lot of it was about Eddie and what it's like to be Eddie's kid. And you know, what that means to fans, both for, you know, good and bad.

But I was very, uh, just a solid guy and a solid musician. So look, I am, you know, in Vancouver and I was trying to get ready to do this talk to you. And you know, I just found myself, you know, rewatching a fucking reel. Scrolling.

I watched a reel of women pretending to fart in front of their partners, like four or five times, like with some sort of straw device, four or five times I'm watching women fake fart in front of men for a reaction. Four times. I'm not going to get that time back. I've got a problem.

There's got to be some sort of recovery for this real, this scrolling compulsion. It's ridiculous. I don't have any trouble locking back into reality. So it's not, it's not like other drugs.

You know, it's not like, you know, I pull out of the phone and then I'm like, you know, I need an hour or two just to regroup. I mean, I'm still, and I'm very aware of this. It's weird because I'm watching the phone and then you're in that world and it takes over your whole fucking brain and then you just, you're out, shut it off, move away from it, close up the app and I'm back in the real world. There's no big adjustment and I'm not, I don't crave to get back into the phone.

And I don't mind the real world and I'm fully engaged in it. But once I get on the phone, it just starts to, I just start to do that thing. And I don't know. I guess, I guess I need help.

I guess this is a cry for help. It could be other drugs. It's not. It's, you know, there's some heavy fucking fentanyl casualties around here.

You know, I guess it's probably fentanyl and meth, but I, I, I can't stop. I'm kind of fascinated morbidly and I always have been with the effects of drugs, you know, on the streets and obviously it's devastating. It's sad, but I mean, this goes back to when I lived in New York, on second between A and B, there was just the junkie parade. You know, there was a drug dealing doorway next to where I was living.

I was sober then. I was, I think that was the first shot of being sober. Was it what? What?

89? Right. Yeah. So I think I was sober for the first time by year.

And I remember moving down there and just seeing these, these fucking heroin zombies line up in the doorway next to where I lived, you know, waiting to get their fucking stuff, waiting for the fix. And it was just a, it was so sad and disturbing. And I'd see it every fucking day, needles on the streets, people nodding out, little parades of junkies, some of them, you know, trying to get on the methadone and they'd walk in groups of two or three with this sort of weird heroin hobble and, you know, in and out of nodding off tilting. But the weird thing about it is, and I guess this is part of my brain that I always have to be aware of because, you know, this is what sobriety is based on, is that at some point after a year or so of looking at those sad cases, the shift from like that is so sad to like, wonder what, what it's like.

I wonder what, you know, what is it that they would sacrifice their life and their dignity and their sense of self to maintain this fucking life? What is it? How, what is, how good is it that? And obviously it's not, it's not about good necessarily.

It's an addiction. But you know, it was obviously what was making their life worth living for, I guess, or maybe it was what they had to live for because of their disease or their addiction. But at some point in time, it must have felt pretty fucking good. And it was, that's the scary moment when you're drug addict, where you're like, that's fucking, that's fucking awful.

Yeah. Okay. All right. I'll try it.

But this fentanyl thing, the thing that I'm noticing is that, look, when I was hanging around down there on the low-ree side, there was a nod, you know, there was the nod is that you'd see these heroin junkies tilting, but they don't, they, it was just sort of like a quarter way down, you know, like a quarter way down, you know, usually, or a quarter way back where they just be standing there in the fucking nod. But the tilt was like, it was not, it was about quarter way. And what I'm seeing on the streets here is like full tilt, man. You know, 90 degree angle to like all the way folded over, but still standing.

And I was thinking like, well, it must be some kind of effect on the spine or something is happening in the nervous system that that's the difference, you know, with this fentanyl stuff in terms of that, that tilt, that nod. And then I saw an article about that just addressing that full tilt nod of fentanyl. It just said, why, you know, whatever the headline was, why does fentanyl cause this? And so I'm thinking like, I'm going to read it and I'm going to, you know, I'm going to find out some science about this because I've been curious about it because I'm walking bio out of these addicts down here.

And I read it and the primary difference between the quarter tilt heroin nod and the full fold fentanyl nod is it's just that much better a drug. That's that's all. There's no science to it. It's just twice as good.

So you get twice the fucking tilt. Now, look, I know something you can be censored about that. Like, no, it's not good. There's nothing good.

It's a joke. Relax. But that was the hard science behind it. The reason why they're tilting all the way over is because the high is that much more intense.

And I saw guys, I saw it. Look, it's easy game. I guess, you know, if you're, you're kind of insensitive to, to make fun of drug addicts or houseless people. And it's not really where I'm going with this.

They're, they're, because there's some part of me that has, there's full empathy to it. But there is a sort of comedy to drug addiction. And I know this because I've spent a lot of time in meetings and, you know, God willing or the universe willing or themselves willing if they, if they are able to kick the stories you have about the human experience and the darkness of it in terms of humor are profound. So I'm not just blatantly making fun, but I did see these two fentanyl addicts down here in, on Hastings Street and they were fully, fully tilted.

I mean, like they're like, like fully folded in half, standing next to each other, having a conversation, probably about a very small amount of money or another corner. But, but, but they were just doing that. They were both down there, folded in half, chatting. So what that indicates to me also about this particular drug is that they think they're standing up.

This is just part of the thing, you know, because they don't, they don't go all the way down. They're not laying down. You know, they, they think they're functioning in the world. It's a very sad thing, but also not unlike many sad things.

It's hilarious. It's hilarious. And I hope they get sober. Did I book in that?

All right. Did I qualify that properly as to not make people upset with me trivializing or dismissing the horrors of drug addiction? Did I folks, I'll be in Tucson, Arizona at the Rialto Theater on Friday, September 20th, then I'm in Phoenix at the Orpheum Theater on Saturday, September 21st. There's a lot of dates coming up towards the end of the year and internet here.

You can go to wtf pod slash tour for tickets and see all the latest updates to my dates. I haven't some to make room for this movie. So tonight, I'll handle us give you those in town here in Vancouver. And he's asking me if I play a couple tunes with him if I wanted to.

And of course I want to and it's weird. It's not weird that, but it's, you know, I'm still really not confident playing guitar with people. I get profoundly nervous and it reminds me because the other night I did a set down at the comedy underground, I was talking to these comics. There's a lot of amateur comics that come through these, you know, rooms.

And they're trying stuff out, but most of these comic run rooms are people that are pretty, you know, short, you know, they're not, they haven't been in the game long. And they're trying to figure it out. And I'm talking to some guys that have been doing it like six months to a year. They're asking me questions and whatever, but just talking to them about, you know, that first five minutes that you have, that first five to eight minutes that you have ever as a comic and how you lock into that and the kind of panic you experience for sometimes weeks on end just to get ready to do one spot or two spots, the thinking about it all week, the nervousness that, and all you got those six jokes, seven jokes, eight jokes.

And you just hang on to them because you're just trying to figure out how to stand up there and do them. But the nervousness for me used to consume my brain. I would have an open mic to do and I'd have like four or five minutes of stuff, maybe eight. And the entire week was fucked because all I'm doing is thinking about that.

And I told one of those guys the other night, I'm like, I am so glad I don't have that anymore. I mean, I have nervousness about other things, but I will tell you though, when I got to play guitar at a thing, and that's with a band, you're not even up there by yourself. I mean, God forbid you, well, you're going to fuck up. I'm going to fuck up, but you got a whole band.

I mean, I'm not going to sink the whole ship for fuck's sake. But Jesus Christ, I'm consumed with nervousness. I'm working on these goddamn songs. There's nothing easy about it.

I want to have a good time, but I'm so nervous about playing well that, you know, I can't. And I wonder if that's like most things in my life. I'm so nervous about doing it well that I'm missing the whole enjoy the experience part. Huh.

Might have just come on something there. I might have just had a realization there. The songs are beast of burden and like a hurricane. I don't know either of them, but I learned them and hopefully it'll stick.

But I do know one thing about me, if I got to play guitar in front of people with other people, I'm going to choke a little bit. I'm going to fuck up something and hopefully get back on it. Man, I one time choked with Jimmy Vavino at a gig on going, going on to do in tune. And it's a song I played before.

Yeah. And then I fucked it up and I had a hard time finding my way back. And it was so embarrassing because it's like you just, you've got a three minute song. All you got to do is get through the song.

I mean, that's the, that is, it's not a challenge, but that is what you're supposed to do when you're playing a song with a band and you know, and you fuck it up. Then it's like, you just, what did you fucking do? It's three minutes, dude. You couldn't like it.

You just pay attention. Anyway, see, this is how I beat the shit out of myself. This is my process. All right.

So Wolfgang Van Halen, very exciting. I didn't know what to think or what to make. I watched the behind the music. I listened to his music.

I really listened to some of his old man's music and it was fun, man. It was fun to do that. You can watch that behind the music on Paramount Plus. He's also doing a stadium tour throughout August in the US and Canada.

Go to mammothwvh.com for tour dates and tickets. And this is me talking to Wolfgang Van Halen. The extension, on the extension. The good sitting room, the naughty step, the morally ambiguous lounge.

Various nukes, assorted crannies under the bed with the monsters. Get uninterrupted Wi-Fi in every room guaranteed, or we'll give you 150 euro back with our Wi-Fi guarantee. Now available free with 1 gig and 2 gig broadband. Virgin Media, it's playtime.

Subject location availability, minimum download speeds of 30 meg in every room or 150 euro 1 off-graders. Exclusions and legal supplies, see Virgin Media dot e. You're just back? Yeah, I just got back.

Like when? Friday. Friday. No.

Wait, no. What is it today? Sunday. I got back yesterday.

Yesterday from Munich. Munich? So you all fucked up? I'm very fucked up.

I was more I was more fucked up there than I like I got some sleep when I got back, but flying out to basically I think I spent more time in the air than I did. What was it? You just went for one show? Yeah, we were opening for Metallica in Munich.

So you all you guys just went out there for one? Yeah, yeah. Because was that important? I opened for Tallica, yeah, for sure.

But I think, you know, the way they tour, they have this very unique schedule where it's two shows a week and they have different openers for each. Oh, I see. So that you weren't just popping in on one gig and they were going night to night? Yeah, no, that was the one we opened on that one and then they did a show two days later in the same place.

Yeah, you opened that one. I believe if it's the same as last year, it was Ice Nine Kills. And I don't know. Yeah.

You're sitting here pressing your brain. I'm like, I'm not going to do it. I was trying to think it's so weird because I was like, all of a sudden doing this research. Because I saw your dad, and I'm sure you get this all the time from guys my age, when I was trying to track it because it was not a great experience for me.

I was an Albuquerque, New Mexico where I grew up. It must have been the second tour. And all I remember is some creepy guy who went to high school with me saying, you want to hit a hash. And I took it and I blacked out the entire fucking, I didn't see Van Halen.

And I kind of remember something called the Cats open for them. And I tried to validate that. And then for a minute, I couldn't find it. The tour even, I was like, no, I was there.

Your body was there. But yeah, no, no, I missed the whole thing. It was probably going to be a good show. It was probably going to be a great show.

But I remember that guy's face exactly the guy with the fucking pipe. I remember that guy. That's unfortunate. Yeah.

I don't think it worked out for that guy. You know, I'm doing OK. But I'm sorry. I'm in the same.

But so do you know those guys in Metallica pretty well? I mean, I had met James once in 2015 briefly. And then I met Lars at the Taylor Hawkins tribute show in London. And then we sort of hit it off there.

And then we got the ask for them for them in like a couple months later. From that gig? And that's where you did the Hawkins tribute? I did the LA-1 too.

But that was the first one. The UK was the first one. That was the one that was broadcast. And the LA-1 was just the sort of party.

Yeah, party. Yeah. Yeah. So that was the one that was broadcast.

Because I watched the other behind the music thing. And that to me, what you were going through leading up to that show, I was like, that's fucked up. Because it was like your personal struggle. No one else was thinking like, he doesn't pull this off.

He's never going to get out from under these fucking idiots that will leave him alone. But like you were like, this is it, man. This is it was specific. Oh, yeah.

If I if I fucked that up, I would have I wanted to die. Yeah, sure. But I mean, what was going on? I mean, how long have that been going on for the trolling?

Oh, my whole life since before social media. Really? Yeah. Yeah.

Since you started playing publicly. Yeah. Yeah. No matter what band.

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I had a little band in middle school that way. We never played shows.

Oh, it's a band in Boston. There's no one in middle school going, nah, this guy is dad's good. But it started like which one with what band? Playing in Van Hill.

Oh, but not before that? No. Oh. So, so what was it just constant?

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I like from a neutral standpoint, I completely understand. I guess, but I don't I got into a Charles this morning.

I and what you don't realize when you're engaging, which you should never do. Oh, yeah. I've taken a big step back and it's been it's done wonders for my mental health. Oh, yeah, because like, there's part of your brain.

That's like the entire internet. And it's like, no, seven guys. It's the vocal majority. Yeah.

It's like, but it's like, it's literally a group of 15 dudes, people who just revel in it. Yeah. And that's their hobby is delivered. Good.

I engage this morning. Hadn't in like two years. And it was like, I was like, why the fuck am I here? And then that just weighs on you all day.

And it's just fucking pointless. It's it's corrosive. But like, but you know, the thing is, it's like when you engage, you like, I got this one. And sometimes it works out.

Sometimes it works out very well. But then other times it's like, ah, fuck, I'm all I got. I'm all I just keep less wording here. And you can't, you know, you can't it's even if you're just the worst part is, is you're like, you want to be straight with this guy?

Yeah. Look, man, I understand what you're saying. And there's people, man. Like, let's just let's just get through this.

Like, no, I don't know you. Yeah, you can't. You can't win. It's impossible.

But I mean, how did it affect? Like, how engaged with it? Were you when that went down? Were you obsessed with it?

Like, there's no, not obsessed. In fact, I tried to avoid it. Yeah, I think because it was only in really dedicated spaces back in the day, obviously, like there's what we talking nine two thousand two thousand seven two thousand six sevens. All the dedicated like V H, you know, message, people can use message boards.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You know, it's stuff like that, like dedicated websites.

Yeah. Okay. Just make sure I avoid those. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. And, but it was enough for you because, I mean, you were playing well. Yeah.

I was just having a good time enjoying, you know, my newly sober dad and jamming with my family and having a wonderful time. And it was just this wonderful, happy, joyous thing until it went public. And then it was like, Oh, yeah. Yeah.

I can see why people would want to hate me. But what was like, were they crying about Mike? Yeah, that and I think that's not something I, you know, that that's between, you know, my dad and I was just there to kind of make sure my dad stayed on the sober path that he was on. You know, and.

Yeah. And. Yeah. Yeah.

And. Yeah. And. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. And me being there for him and just kind of keeping the train moving. Yeah. It was my full intent.

Like, I would make the set list and everything. I started puttingTh nickel. Yeah. I just want to give the fans something because it's like, why can't we just make music and have a good time doing it.

Yeah. Did you play from all the records? Uh, I mean, although, there were all the album, yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. And then he was back in for a while. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah for the time that I was in, so the twelve years that I was in. How was that?

Well, you know, you got to keep him focused. He likes to go all over the place. I knew that right from the beginning. And I was just...

You got strapped up in. I kept going back. I kept trying to hold him. People were impressed.

People were impressed. I never heard an interview like that. It made sense. He told...

The word thing about him is, I knew his uncle used to hang out in the comedy club. It was a comedy manager. Manny Roth. Yeah, he got a cafe wall.

Right. And he used to hang around the village gate and that part of the neighborhood. When he was old, he must have been in his 80s. He was wearing his little scarf.

He was like a young, hot Asian wife. And he was a real showman. Because when I was talking to somebody about this morning, because I told him I was talking to you, it's like, you know, David Lee Roth is a song and dance man. Yeah, it's all vaudeville.

That's his thing. That's it. And you guys get along? Not really.

At least as of recently, I thought we were on good terms. And he actually made a couple of YouTube videos about me, about how much he doesn't like me. Really? Which was like, okay, cool, man.

What was his justification? He basically just said a bunch of stuff that was true to him, I guess. It doesn't matter if it's not true because the people that are going to listen to it will believe it and use it to hate me anyway. So you just got to move forward.

What the fuck are these guys? I just, like, for the show tomorrow, then I'm putting up tomorrow. I just went up on this weird, it's like doing something with your life. How is this your fucking hobby?

And why are these guys, like, you know, these old guys, this is like just shut up already. I mean, like, I'm noticing it more now. Like somebody's like, oh, yeah, on that movie, we didn't get along. It's like, why now?

That was 30 years ago. Yeah, exactly. They need attention. I think the big thing, one of the bigger things is that my dad isn't around.

So I think he just went for. Yeah. What's still there to kind of point at? Were they having difficulties on that?

Always. I mean, I mean, throughout their history, I think absolutely. I don't know what it is with 80s bands. Like, just, there's always fucking something.

Like, I've kind of used it as my own. Just like, I don't want this to happen. So it's like, for my band, it's like, why can't we just have a good time? Just be happy and make music.

Like, is it that fucking difficult? You never quite understand what it is. But, you know, it is one of those things where when you start out as kids and you've paid all your dues together, there's just no way at some point. You're going to not be like, just shut the fuck up.

I mean, I talked to Geezer Butler. He's great. He's great. He's a wonderful, friendly man.

Do you have that book? I do not have that on me. I'll give it to you. Yeah.

Oh, dude, I love it. There you go. I don't always read, you know, what comes. I know about Sabbath.

You know, and it's all there, dude. It's fascinating. But, you know, what broke them apart was like, you know, management and weirdness and bullshit. Bullshit.

Yeah. Bullshit. But all your guys seem like good guys. Sure.

But the bullshit happens and there you go. And you got to get past it. Because I guess if you have musical differences, you know, the possibility of those escalating into personal differences. I think the really tough thing with Van Halen is that, you know, my dad and my uncle never talked about it.

They just pushed forward and kept doing what they were doing. I think that left room for interpretation or one side to be loud about it to have the only truth be out there. And that's the only thing that people end up believing. Yeah.

And when, you know, that's not necessarily the case. I didn't even know, you know, until I watched the video, like in granted, I haven't kept up with Van Halen throughout all of it. I mean, they, you know, I was in, I was probably in 10th grade when that first album came out. Yeah.

So like I'm in 10th grade and all I knew is that the world had changed somehow. Because you know, you could drive a 15 in Albuquerque and there was like the senior parking line. Like every car, so like eruption. That's all you heard.

And then people were like, what is happening? Because like the day before it was far in her. And it was just like the eruption happens. Yeah.

And then it happened. But so I don't know the whole history, but like, you know, a lot of it, you know, when it was reported that your dad died of cancer, it was that. But it was a long struggle with a lot of different illnesses, you know, including addiction. And so like, you know, the way you described, you know, the end was it was not, you know, it was not cut and dry.

It was a real struggle. Yeah. It was the hardest thing I've ever been through. I can't imagine.

And I'm sorry for your loss. No, it's fucking terrible. Thank you very much. But I'll tell you, man, like, you know, I watch that.

I watched you do that thing at the Hawkins review, you know, in the documentary, but then I go in my house and went, I find it. You know, I got to go because I knew what that guy was going through. He's like, so a lot of a lot of the line to know and knew about. Yeah.

And did you know you were in the pocket right away? I think once it was over. And I didn't actually, I think you can almost pinpoint it. Once we get done with the solo on Hot for Teacher, the second song, I think, Girl and I during the verse, we just kind of lean up on each other's foreheads and just kind of wave for it.

And in that moment, I was like, like, I can now enjoy the fact that I'm fucking playing with Dave Girl and Justin Hawkins and Josh Fries. And it was over. I did it. I pulled it off.

Yeah. And did you see results? In what way? Did the shit talk stop a little bit or by that point, you're just quit looking at it.

Yeah. I was going to be there. I think because it's irrational. It's just at a certain point, the thing that angers the people who hate me is that I exist.

Just sharing blood with my father is enough to upset people. But yeah, I think a lot of people finally gave me credit and there was a whole lot of a bunch of people that were like, there's no way. It was prerecorded for something. Oh my God.

It was to the tracks or. That's so fucking horrendous. I mean, they said that when the Van Halen Al Maitain came out, everybody was like, oh, Ed must have played the bass and stuff like that. What?

It's fucking nightmare, dude. But that's, if anything, you take that as a compliment because you know the truth. I know I did it. And so if it's to them, so unbelievable that it must be tracked, it's like, damn, it must have done a good job.

Yeah. That's a good way to spin it. And Grohl is like, as time goes on, I interviewed him years ago, but as time goes on, you're like, this guy's a great guy. Absolutely.

I mean, like you watch this video. He's not an 80s guy. It's that 80s guys where it was where all the drama and the bullshit are. Right.

But you know, everybody just learned how to grow up as time went on. Well, he had a pretty difficult front man for quite a few years, you know, but I guess it was different. Yeah, sure. Yeah, the 80s where like, because everybody was so gunning for this hugeness and a lot of people got it.

And now they're back. Exactly. But he seems like a genuinely nice guy. He is.

Like when he pulls his fans out and lets him play. Yeah, everything that you would imagine him to be. He is in the best way. Yeah.

But like I listen to like that fucking solo you did on Take a Bow. What the fuck? That's awesome, man. Thank you very much.

Because like, you know, obviously, you know, you have flourishes of what you grew up with, but the phrasing is totally different. Yeah, I think I think people are sitting there just kind of waiting for me to like outdo my dad in some way. And it's like, that's impossible. I'm not, I am not him.

Right. I'm doing my own thing. Yeah. I wouldn't be able to play all the instruments on something.

That's right. I'm a better drummer than he was, but nobody says that. But that guitar was crazy. It was really good.

It's got a lot of elements or even like a almost a proggy moment in there. Yeah, that was really fun. That was really felt like an evolution. From the first album.

I was so focused on the first album on just kind of discovering the identity of what I offered as my own songwriter. Sure. But by the second album, I was ready to just kind of stretch a bit more and be more comfortable. And I think that's where that solo came from.

And where do you like when you listen to your music or when you're kind of like, because you have your own sound. It's not, you know, your references are not Van Halen. You know, that's in me. Right.

Like that's a thing when anybody asks like, Oh, who's your favorite guitar player? Is it a favorite drummer? I've never mentioned my dad or Al because it's so obvious. It's in my blood.

Right. Right. Outside of my family. Exactly.

Who are they? It's kind of all over the place. Really, I think a big, especially actually recently there's a guitar player who I just toured with, which is really cool. He has a band called Intervals.

Yeah. Aaron Marshall is his name. I think he's just an amazing guitar player. Yeah.

It inspires me. I was always a big fan of Paul Gilbert back in the day. I thought he was one of the shred guy. He's just one of the shredder guys from the 80s.

He was in Mr. Big and Racer X. And he was one of those guys that sort of came a little bit after dad that I think took it in an interesting direction instead of just tried to, because in a way dad kind of ruined the music. The music.

Because instead of everybody wanting to find out who they are, they just wanted to be that. Yeah. How do you do that? Exactly.

Yeah. But also like it feels like your structure of, you know, like it feels like that Van Halen was a pretty hook driven band. Yeah. I think people focus on the guitar playing.

But overall it was the fact that dad is a great song. Yeah. And that's what I shoot for too. It's not about flashy stuff.

But you're like a riff guy. Yeah, there's riffs. And I focus on overall the creation of the song, because I'm playing everything. Oh, yeah.

You still? Yeah. But then on the road, you just take the band. Yeah.

Yeah. I got my live guys that. But on the record, you play everything. Every single thing you hear is just me.

It's just a control freak thing. I think people want to turn it into that. But I was just really inspired by the way, girl did the first Foo Fighters album. And since I could play everything, I wanted to see if I could do it.

And with the first album, I found out I could. And I had such a good time that it's just like, man, let's just keep it going. And you can do your own pace? Yeah.

Exactly. If anything, it's like reverse control freakism, because it's just a way to deter the bullshit. After what I've seen three years with dad, it's like, why involve anybody else? Why involve anybody else?

Because it'll just get filled with drama and bullshit. Rock and roll drama. I'm having fun with it. That's great.

Now your uncle's not in the dock. You guys are all right? Yeah, he's just incredibly private. I think that's another portion of why the Van Halen truth is always decided by other people outside of the family, because he never feels worthy to speak up, because it's just not something he's interested in.

He's a very good guy. Don't want to be dragged into it. Yeah. There's just no desire really to drag it up.

And he's still around here? Yeah. He's actually just wrote a book that's going to be coming out soon. That's really cool, because he's never really spoken on anything much, and for him to finally have this opportunity.

A memoir? Yeah. No shit. And you kind of just like the opportunity I had with the behind the music, but finally getting our opportunity to tell our own truth from our own side is really nice.

Well, I think the undercurrent of what makes it behind the music so interesting and different than the rest, it's not like the arc is not of self-destruction. Your dad had a degree, but it's you. And what comes through and what makes it a uplifting story is that despite whatever chaos was going on with him personally or even your parents, it wasn't directed at you. Ever.

I mean, Jesus, the way Valerie Bernal, your mom, just talks about how much your dad loved you and how much you loved you. So you're right out of the gate. You're like, oh my God. This is such a good kid.

Look at his doing. Thank God. There was never a point where you're like, fuck you guys. I'm out of here.

Yeah. No, it was, I think that's why it's so tough for me to be okay now, because his love was such a huge part of my life that now without him here, there's just this black hole in me that it just can never be erased. And it's just me trying to figure out how to hold it. The grief.

Yeah. And what are you doing with that? How long has it been now? It's been in October.

It'll be four years. Oh, yeah. And it's hard, man. It's very difficult.

I think the way, you know, that when you release the song, I mean, that was very, you know, honest and heartfelt and like a beautiful kind of honor or, you know, what would you call it? Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Yeah.

But you know, even when you do that, it doesn't satisfy the absence. No, not at all. And so how do you experience on a day, day basis? You know, as time goes on, it gets easier.

You figure out how to carry it. But still there's plenty of times where it's almost like, I think the closest way I can relate to it is almost like a PTSD style sort of triggering where it's like if I hear, you know, a heart monitor, a heap of a heart monitor, it takes me back to the hospital. If I hear the sound of an automatic hand sanitizer dispenser, it makes me think of being in the hospital and hearing that sound walking out of the room and putting the hands on my hands on my eyes on little weird little things like you don't realize. But not the music.

No, no, I think. Well, actually, when it comes to listening to Van Halen, I really, I can't. It's very, very difficult for me. The hardest thing was for me to listen to Hot for Teacher over and over and over again to like make sure I had this all over again.

And yeah, it's just very tough for me. And I think it's like the exact opposite. I think for the people that miss him being a fan is that all they have is what they've had to begin with, which is the music for me. That's all they have left.

Right. And so to not have him, it's just it makes it very difficult because I just so much I wish I could share with him. Because of what you were saying before, that I don't know if you've ever sort of fucked around with codependency recovery or any of that. But the idea that through most of your life, you felt like you had to keep him on track.

So that bond is almost deeper in a way because you have the relationship, the love, but then you have this responsibility and this panic all times, which you feel necessary. Yeah, I never expected to be in that sort of position so early in my life. Now, what are your earliest memories of the family? I mean, I think my mom was really good at hiding the bullshit for me, that it almost gave me the superpower of total awareness that I was always really able to start to tell like, oh, if something's wrong, you know, like, oh, surprise, I'm going to a friend's house after school today.

What does that mean? What's happening? Oh, they're giving him an intervention. Oh, yeah.

Stuff like that. You know, and so your earliest memories, he's already pretty fucked up. No, actually, one of my earliest memories during the Balance era, the Van Halen album, he was sober for that tour. I remember that specifically because he cut his hair.

Yeah. And so I always related his short hair to good times. Right. So that when he got sober in 2007 for the first time and cut his hair after a long time, it was like, oh my God, oh, yeah, this is incredible.

Everything's okay again for a little bit. And then, you know, how have you been, they split up? It was 2006, I was what, 15? Oh, so it was like later, they kind of hammered it out.

Yeah. But when you start, when did you start playing? I started playing drums when I was nine. Yeah.

Guitar when I was 12 and bass shortly after. And it was just, I imagine that immediately, like I'm sure you have no memory of your dad kind of wondering, like, I was just going to kick and turn out. Yeah. He never pushed me into it.

Yeah. But when he saw that it was there, he was just very excited about it. I think I remember there being a moment of my dad going like, listen to him. He can play and mom just being like, yeah.