Episode 159: How to Have ”Tough Conversations for Easier Endings,” with Yvonne Caputo

Having the hard conversations with a loved one and then sharing what we've learned can be a gift to others who love that person but can't have those conversations. The Five Wishes helped me start those conversations. ~ Yvonne Caputo How much do you enjoy having hard conversations? If you're like most of us, you'd rather go to the dentist than have a difficult conversation with a loved one–or anyone, for that matter. Hard conversations are, well, hard. They frequently involve intense and unpleasant emotions, and we only venture into that territory when we've exhausted every other means of avoiding the situation. But Yvonne Caputo, this week's guest on the Brilliantly Resilient podcast, has experienced the upside of hard conversations–getting to know a loved one better and honoring him towards the end of, and after his life. Yvonne is the author of Flying with Dad and Dying with Dad, two books that prove the value of asking difficult questions and listening (deeply, as Yvonne says), to the answers. While it wasn't easy to initiate those conversations, Yvonne found help in utilizing a document titled The Five Wishes, which encourages conversations about end of life care and the needs and wishes of those relying on others for care. After asking the tough emotional questions, Yvonne found that the answers prompted more loving and enlightening conversations with her father about his life. Having challenging conversations, no matter the topic, is never easy. Yet once we begin asking questions and seeking answers, we often find new information that makes a situation easier to understand and navigate. Part of being resilient is having the courage to move forward even when we don't really want to. Tune in to hear more of Yvonne's wisdom on this week's episode of the Brilliantly Resilient podcast and be sure to listen for these additional bits of brilliance: The more I asked questions, the more he trusted me. And I began to understand my father on a deeper level. The five wishes was a critical document. It took an advance directive for a parent and brought out all the heart. By asking the questions, I found discovery after discovery about my father. Knowing what my father wanted, I was able to honor him. By knowing what people want, we can ease their transition for us and them. Let's be Brilliantly Resilient together! XO, Kristin and Mary Fran