Episode 16: Shakma - Dice, Dungeons & Deranged Baboons

B-Movie Blitzkrieg Podcast – Episode 16Shakma (1990)Roll initiative, barricade the doors, and for the love of all that is holy… pick up a phone. This week, The B-Movie Blitzkrieg Podcast is trapped in a concrete maze with Shakma (1990)…the killer-baboon horror-thriller that stretches a razor-thin premise to breaking point and then keeps going for another 20 minutes just to spite you.Duncan & The Baz descend into an underground medical facility where a group of grad students decide that the best place to play a live-action Dungeons & Dragons-style game is…a building full of lethal experiments and fully functioning telephones they absolutely refuse to use. Directed by Hugh Parks and Tom Logan, Shakma pits our would-be heroes against an enraged baboon hopped up on experimental drugs, military-grade aggression, and pure narrative convenience.The setup is fun. The baboon is genuinely intimidating. But dear god…the decision-making. From endless running down identical corridors to ignoring obvious escape routes, this is one of those films where the monster might not even be the biggest threat…human stupidity is.Is it an underrated oddity with something to say, or just another stitched-together curiosity from the grindhouse operating table?---In This Episode:Why no one thinks to call for help despite being surrounded by phones?The Baz’s growing frustration as the runtime refuses to end.Duncan’s attempts to explain 100 men vs a gorilla to Baz.Whether Shakma is a solid creature feature buried under bad choices and padding.---Top 5 Rad/Sad & Bad Moments:Shakma himself…a legitimately scary, angry baboon doing serious work.Then there is SO MUCH SHAKMA in this movie.This Baboon can’t open cupboard doors?.A finale that arrives long after the audience has mentally checked out.The overwhelming sense that this could’ve been a tight 80 minutes… but absolutely isn’t.We dig into whether Shakma earns cult status as a mean-spirited creature movie, or if it’s a cautionary tale about editing, pacing, and what happens when nobody in a script has common sense. There’s fun to be had here…but it’s buried under repetition, baffling logic, and a runtime that feels like it’s rolling critical failures on every turn.---So sharpen your dice, map your exits, and remember, if you’re in a building full of phones during a killer-baboon rampage… use one.Until next time, stay bold, stay bizarre, and never split the party.Here at B-Movie Blitzkrieg… the bizarre meets the brilliant, one B-Movie at a time.---Next Episode is Dropping 13th FebruaryBreak out the Uzis, hit the mall, and watch the sky… Episode 17 blasts off with The Night of the Comet (1984). Expect valley-girl survivors, dusty apocalypse vibes, synth-heavy ’80s charm, and zombies that absolutely did not get the memo. It’s end-of-the-world fun with big hair, bigger shoulder pads, and radioactive shopping trips. Don’t miss it…the comet waits for no one. TIMECODE:00:00:00 - THEME SONG00:00:45 - INTRO00:05:49 - PLOT00:09:20 - TOP 5 RAD/SAD/BAD MOMENTS00:19:53 - BEST/WORST LINES00:23:35 - PLOTHOLES00:26:27 - SCORE00:28:12 - CLOSE