Episode #17: Support Groups: Are you looking for solutions or people to commiserate with? You can find both!

I can’t tell you how big of a part support groups have played in my life. Not only groups I physically go to but more importantly, the list of people I call on a regular basis. When I’m going through something, in life, at work and in relationships, I have to check my motives. I have to see where my thoughts, attitudes, behaviors, defects of character and most importantly, my ego is. These are the types of things that will blind my ability to connect with people and build up the important relationships in my life. When I talk to my people, I’m trying to find the root cause of my pain. What is it that is causing me to feel this way and how is it getting in the way of seeing things clearly. The people I speak to, are mostly men who have experience with what I’m going through. These aren’t buddies that are going to always agree with me. They help me with my side of the street. I also have a group of friends that I call the “commiseration committee”. These are the guys I call when I just want someone to tell me I’m right and justified in my behavior. Don’t get it twisted... I got’em both! The reason this is coming up for me is, anytime in long-term meaningful relationships, both intimate, platonic and professional, there comes a time, when you have to have tough conversations. There will be multiple times in these relationships when you have to work through shiz. When I go into these conversations, I want to have my shit straight. Where do I need to change? Where can I get better? Where can I be more loving, compassionate and understanding? Also, where is my perspective on point? Ultimately, I don’t have to agree with everyone in my life but I do need to be considerate, understanding and loving. Even when it doesn’t feel good!!!