Episode 184: Letting Go Is Hard: Part Two

Thank you to this episode's sponsor, TherapyNotes. Get a 2-month free trial of TherapyNotes by going to www.TherapyNotes.com and using the promo code TherapyChat. Welcome back to Therapy Chat! In today's podcast host Laura Reagan revisits one of her first episodes about the challenges of letting go. Some points to ponder if you are struggling to let go.What was it like for you to move out of your parents’ home and into adulthood? Did you go to college? Did you live with your parents past the age of 18? When were you ready to move out? Were your parents ready for you to go before you were ready? Or were you ready to go before your parents wanted you to leave?Individuation is a developmental task every young adult must complete in order to become an independent and self-sufficient adult. Some families discourage individuation by refusing to allow children and adolescents to express their own individuality. Conformity is highly valued and dissent is not tolerated. These parent/child relationships can be described as enmeshed when the child and the parent are not felt to be independent people, but rather the children are seen by the parents as an extension of the parents. When you make a mistake, I feel ashamed that you have embarrassed the family. Some kids rebel and express themselves through their appearance. The parents may believe that everyone should wear khaki pants and navy blue shirts and have traditional hairstyles, but the child wants to dress in all black with long purple hair and a safety pin through his lip. Parents may see this as disrespectful and a power struggle escalates to the point where the child is kicked out of the house by the time they are 18, if not earlier. Do you know how to allow your child to leave home with grace and joy, rather than a big fight? If your parents were angry at you for wanting to be an independent adult, you might react the same way towards your kid without even realizing it.Resources  Daring Greatly by Brené Brown Rising Strong by Brené Brown Self Compassion by Kristin NeffAre you a therapist needing support to sharpen your clinical skills in working with trauma survivors? Want to work with Laura for clinical consultation? Get in touch via [email protected]. Or if you're interested in joining an upcoming online or in person clinical consultation group, go here to sign up on the interest list! Please let us know what you'd like to learn more from Laura by completing this short survey! Want a cool Therapy Chat t-shirt, sticker or mug? Find them here: https://www.teepublic.com/user/therapychat Please consider supporting Therapy Chat by becoming a member on Patreon! Just $1 a month would make a huge impact to keep Therapy Chat going strong! To learn more head to - https://patreon.com/TherapyChat where members get special perks and swag too! Leave me a message via Speakpipe by going to https://therapychatpodcast.com and clicking on the green Speakpipe button. Thank you for listening to Therapy Chat! Please be sure to go to iTunes and leave a rating and review, subscribe and download episodes. You can also download the Therapy Chat app on iTunes by clicking here. Podcast produced by Pete Bailey - https://petebailey.net/audio Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands