Episode 217 - The January Crazy Travel Roundup

Hello and welcome to episode 217 of Travel Stories from the Back Again and Gone. Being recorded in the beautiful home office of Chateau’ Relaxo, FL. If you’re a new listener, welcome; and if you’re a returning listener, welcome back.No beer, as I am recording this at 9:00 AM, and I am not that much of a monster.Yes, late again in getting the crazy travel round-up out, but it’s been that busy. Just a handful of trips in January. One trip was to Mobile, AL, where I had the most amazing jerk chicken at Jamaican Vibes Restaurant. Another trip to Raleigh, NC, where I escaped the January 2026 Snowmageddon. And a recent trip to Palm Beach, FL, in February. If you didn’t know it, seasonal rates are in full effect in Thank you, Florida, with Hampton Inn’s reservations for over $300.00 per night. I ended up staying at the Residence Inn by Marriott Palm Beach Gardens. This was a typical Marriott property, but two things really irked me. First, they charge for parking in an open lot that’s shared with an office complex. I could’ve avoided the parking charge by saying I arrived via ride-share. Just tack the $10.00 on my bill so I don’t have to itemize it on my expense report.The bigger irk was that a co-worker made reservations for all three of us, and they ran all three rooms under his credit card the night before we checked in. I’m Lifetime Titanium, humble brag, and have been staying at Marriott properties for 25 years, and we have always transferred the room charge to our own credit card at checkout. The worst part is now this coworker has to explain to finance why he has two additional rooms on his expense report.Let’s open with a “Thank You, Florida Story from Live And Let’s Fly - United Passenger Takes Off Pants During Boarding On Orlando Flight, Crew Allegedly Does NothingA passenger on a United Airlines flight to Orlando reportedly decided that pants were optional during boarding. Some might call it a bold choice; we call it Florida formal.According to eyewitness accounts, the individual had already committed to going pants‑free by the time they reached their seat — this was not a mid‑flight plot twist. Fellow passengers did what modern society demands:took a photo and immediately sent it to the internet.The most surprising part?No immediate intervention from the flight crew, which sparked debate over airline policies and basic “inside voice / outside clothes” expectations. United’s own rules allow staff to step in if someone is “not properly clothed,” which raises the philosophical question: What is “proper,” really, at 35,000 feet?The comments, as you would expect, were gold: “Why do airlines even have rules anymore?”“He’s not 400 lbs. wearing leggings and a tube top, so, no harm done.”And from Todd S - I would drop to my knees and thank Jesus if a guy sat next to me in underwear. Heck, not even good looking, but a guy in undies. woof!!! Would make that long flight go by quickly!!!!! Sign me up, please!!!Bonus takeaway: Flight attendants now apparently have another unofficial pre‑flight checklist item… and it’s not the life vests.Let’s stay in Thank You, Florida, for this story as well. According to BroBible, “So a woman in Florida had a dream. That dream was networking with rich, powerful people in airport lounges. And to make that dream happen, she dropped $895 a year on an American Express Platinum card—because nothing says ‘business opportunity’ like free hummus at Gate C17.She finally gets into the lounge, expecting private‑equity vibes… and instead finds what airport lounges actually are: people eating muffins, scrolling their phones, and fully unconscious under a jacket like it’s nap time at preschool. No one was networking. No one was closing deals. Nobody whispered, ‘Let’s take this to Slack.’ The most aggressive interaction happening was someone reaching for the last donut.The caption on the video said it all: ‘0 connections were made.’ Which, honestly, might be the most accurate assessment of airport lounges ever.Moral of the story? Airport lounges aren’t secret Illuminati meeting rooms—they’re just waiting rooms with better snacks and slightly less carpet shame. Your next startup co‑founder is probably still in coach.” And after 26 years of business travel, everyone knows my take on airport lounges.“So this story sounds like it was pitched in a writers’ room and everyone agreed it was too much… but it actually happened.According to View From The Wing, an elderly man was pushing his wife through Tenerife Airport in a wheelchair, trying to make a flight—until security realized she had passed away from natural causes. And yes, this is basically ‘Weekend at Bernie’s: Airport Edition.’ [viewfromthewing.com]Airport staff noticed something was off when she wasn’t responding, medical personnel were called, and authorities activated what is officially known as Spain’s ‘protocol for discovering a body’—which sounds less like a policy and more like something you never want announced over a PA system. [viewfromthewing.com]The man was questioned and later released. While the situation was tragic, the sheer logistical audacity of trying to clear airport security as if nothing were wrong is wild.This joins the growing list of reasons why airports are not the place for improv, optimism, or pretending everything’s fine.Somewhere, the ghost of Bernie is nodding in approval… and TSA is adding a bullet point to their checklist.”“Turns out the only thing you can’t bring through security is denial.”“Spirit Airlines: Fashion Police With Cup Holders”“So apparently, Spirit Airlines can kick you off a flight with no refund if they decide your outfit doesn’t pass the vibe check. Crop tops? Risky. Flip‑flops? Criminal. Meanwhile, Spirit is charging you extra to breathe and calling it a premium experience.Let’s be clear: Spirit has never cared about class. This is an airline where the seat cushion is optional, the tray table is the size of an iPhone Mini, and the boarding process feels like the Hunger Games with roller bags. But now suddenly they’re like, ‘Ma’am, this exposed midriff is unacceptable.’Spirit will let the plane smell like feet and energy drinks, but God forbid you show an ankle. They’re like, ‘Sir, you can bring a live iguana onboard for $49, but that crop top? Absolutely not.’And the real Spirit move? No refund. That’s the most on‑brand part. Not ‘please change.’ Not ‘here’s a blanket.’ Just: ‘You’re dressed like a human being in 2026—get off our plane and thank you for your donation.’Spirit Airlines: where the dress code is stricter than the maintenance schedule.”Time to show my age - I do get tired of people dressing like trash on a plane. PJs and slides may be the rage, but you look stupid wearing them on a plane. Except for the long flights, where it is the norm. The “look at me” crowd with the low cut tops, thongs showing, and guys with jeans falling off their a** are all inconsiderate of others.How about shoes, if your plane has to ground evacuate, or worse, flip-flops or slides aren’t going to protect your feet. Then you will try to sue someone for your own stupidity.Dress for the occasion or stay home.This came via X, or as I still say Twitter, sorry Elon. Have you ever sat next to that one family on a flight that turns row 17 into a full-blown catering operation? Yeah—this mom built a sandwich assembly line on a five-hour flight. Five hours! Not international, not transatlantic—just New York to Colorado—and she’s running a sky deli.She had the bread, the deli meat, the greens, and the condiments. Remember practice safe lunch, use a condiment. Tray tables down, production line ready. It looked like Subway met Spirit Airlines. The safety briefing should’ve included instructions for washing lettuce.Flight attendants were probably like: “Ma’am, we said buckle up, not buttercup.”Meanwhile, the rest of the plane’s watching her craft turkey clubs while holding a three-ounce bag of Cheez-Its, wondering why the smell of Dijon has reached cruising altitude. She brought everything short of a sneeze guard and a tip jar.But I respect it. Because airport food costs, what—$22 for a dry turkey wrap and emotional damage? This woman said, “Not today, HMSHost.”She’s the JetBlue Julia Child. Honestly, this is just the natural evolution of air travel. We started with peanuts, moved to pretzels, and now people are basically opening restaurants in the economy section.So next time I fly, I’m bringing a hot plate and a sous chef. Let’s make it a potluck at 35,000 feet. Just remember: tray tables must be in the upright and deli-slicing position.All joking aside, this was a family of six traveling together, and lunch at the airport could easily cost north of $65.00, so yes, they saved money.According to Live And Let’s Fly, a Southwest passenger at Kansas City International absolutely melted down at the counter—full volume, full profanity, threatening staff, basically acting like the customer service desk was a UFC weigh‑in. He’s yelling stuff like he’s been there since early morning and starts tossing around threats, including saying he’d “slap” someone and that the counter “ain’t saving” them. And then—because every meltdown needs a plot twist—he starts boasting “I’m from the UK,” like that’s some kind of diplomatic immunity perk you unlock at Heathrow.Meanwhile, the Southwest employees are just standing there doing the world’s hardest job: being calm while someone auditions for “Unhinged: The Musical.” And, of course… it ends the only way it can: he gets arrested.Moral of the story? If your travel plan includes threatening the gate agents, congrats—you’ve upgraded yourself to a free one‑way ride… to jail along with some chrome bracelets.In Episode 215, we talked about Hilton’s new tier, Diamond Reserve. To hit Diamond Reserve, you will need 80 nights or 40 stays AND $18,000 USD in eligible annual spend. Hilton is so proud of this new tier that it even includes a dashboard in its app to track your progress. The typical business traveler will have no problem reaching 80 nights or 40 stays. The challenge is that $18,000.00. Friend of the show Robbie Morris pointed out that all purchases on prop[erty counts towards the $18k. I did order Hilton Garden Inn chicken wings and drinks the other night, and my bill was $80.00; however, I still don’t think I’ll hit the $18k spend.None of my road warrior buddies thinks this new tier makes sense, but you know who thinks it makes sense? Chris Nassetta. Chris is the President and CEO at Hilton. Here’s what Mr Chris had to say about the new tier. “We were getting to the point where our highest level, Diamond, had millions of members,” Nassetta said, adding that “it’s really hard to reliably deliver bespoke, on-property benefits with that many people across a distributed system in 115 countries.”With the sheer volume of travelers reaching top-tier status, Hilton is now aiming to deliver a more authentic VIP experience to its most loyal guests. “That’s why we created a tier above [Diamond] — a much smaller group where we can confidently be more bespoke,” Nassetta said.”Mr Chris, you need to fire your entire marketing department immediately; this has to be one of the stupidest justifications I’ve ever heard. You have millions and millions of diamond members, and due to that, it’s really hard to reliably deliver bespoke, on-property benefits. You have a service or delivery problem that needs to be fixed. Because of this new tier, you mean the desk agent at the Hampton Inn right off 441 in Coconut Creek, Florida, is suddenly going to deliver bespoke service. According to Google, a bespoke service is a solution designed and built from scratch to meet the exact specifications of a single customer or business. Guess what you already have in your app? That’s where I selected “High Floor” and “Away From The Elevator” in my profile, and your team does a pretty good job of following through on those requests. Does bespoke service mean I can have my room cleaned every day, even if I don’t request it?Let’s continue with daily hotel room cleaning. I immediately hang the “Do Not Disturb” sign on my door as soon as I enter my room. Most of my hotel stays are three days, and I’m confident my towels won’t mildew during that period. There’s a trash can by the elevator where I can deposit the dinner containers from the previous evening. But for some, having their room serviced each day is a big deal. Case in point, years ago, we took a family trip, and the kids had their own rooms. One of the kids removed the “Do Not Disturb” sign from their room, and I questioned why. The answer was, “I need my bed made.” I informed them that you don’t make your bed at home, you’re not getting it made just because you’re in a hotel.“To Clean, or Not to Clean: The Hotel Room Dilemma”“So apparently, the biggest debate in travel right now isn’t seat recline or boarding groups — it’s whether your hotel room gets cleaned at all.According to Point Me To The Plane, hotels quietly decided during the pandemic that daily housekeeping was optional, and now they’re like, ‘Good news! You can live like a raccoon… for the environment.’ And guests fell for it. [liveandletsfly.com]Hotels call this ‘eco‑friendly.’ Unions call it what it actually is: cutting jobs while charging the same price. NPR points out that when you skip daily cleaning, housekeepers lose hours, and the rooms they do clean look like the aftermath of a music festival and a crime scene had a baby. [onemileatatime.com]Housekeepers are out here saying rooms that go untouched for days are absolute nightmares — overflowing trash, soaked towels, mystery smells — while hotels are like, ‘But did you enjoy the extra loyalty points?’Let’s be honest: most people don’t skip housekeeping to save water. They skip it because they don’t want to put on pants before noon.So now we’ve got guests pretending they’re saving the planet, hotels pretending it’s about sustainability, and housekeepers walking into rooms thinking, ‘What fresh hell is this?’Moral of the story: if you’re gonna hang the Do Not Disturb sign all week, that’s fine — just know you’re not an environmental hero. You’re just a raccoon with a minibar.”Well, there you have it, Episode 217, the January crazy travel roundupFor long-time listeners, thank you for your comments and emails. For new listeners, I hope you return.If you want detailed show notes, links, and pictures, head over to Substack at travelstories.substack.com/You can also leave me a message on Anchor or email me at [email protected] I always say, travel safe, stay safe, and thanks for listening. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit travelstories.substack.com