Episode 234: Healing from Relationship Betrayal with Michelle Mays

Michelle Mays, author of The Betrayal Bind: How to Heal When the Person You Love the Most Has Hurt You the Worst, joins me for an in-depth conversation about healing from betrayal. Michelle is a Licensed Professional Counselor and expert in treating sexual betrayal and trauma. She is also the founder of the Center for Relational Recovery in Northern Virginia, outside of DC. "Divorce is common, and cheating is common. Because they are common,  it doesn't mean they're not tremendously significant and have enormous ramifications for our mental and physical health," says Michelle. During our conversation, we discuss the importance of understanding what happened, explore betrayal through the lens of attachment systems, and unravel what happens to us when we experience this enormous injury.   Featured topics include: A new attachment-based model for understanding the impacts of cheating in relationships (8:58) Some of the binds in relationships that we can get stuck in including the shame bind and relational binds (12:01) What gets in the way of leaving when we want or know we need to leave (35:43) Healing and repairing relationships: what it means to stay, and what it takes to repair the fractures betrayal has caused (45:02) The difference between rebuilding emotional connection and rebuilding sexual connection (50:21) Learn more about Michelle Mays: Michelle Mays is a Licensed Professional Counselor and expert in treating sexual betrayal and trauma. She's also the author of the new book The Betrayal Bind: How to Heal When the Person You Love the Most Has Hurt You the Worst. Michelle has created The Braving Hope™ Treatment Model to address the devastating dilemma that betrayed partners face when their significant other is unsafe to connect to, yet connection is the key to healing. Michelle is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Supervisor in Virginia and Washington DC, and a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist and Supervisor. She was trained by Pia Mellody in the Post Induction Therapy model for treating developmental trauma and is currently completing her PhD in Clinical Sexology and certification in Emotionally Focused Therapy for couples. Resources & Links: Information and links may also be found at:  https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-234-healing-from-relationship-betrayal-with-michelle-mays/ Pre-order Kate's book "The D Word" Michelle's websiteMichelle's book, The Betrayal Bind Michelle on FacebookMichelle on InstagramMichelle on YouTube Facing Codependence, Pia Mellody Get Your Curated Podcast Playlist! Answer four easy questions and you'll get a curated list of podcast episodes to best support you as you navigate these tricky waters. I'll also help you identify where you currently stand on this journey, and what's ahead, with resources to help you move through this process with knowledge and grace. GET IT HERE DISCLAIMER:  THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE.  YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM.