Episode 237: Letting the Past Hold You Back

You Can Heal Your Life Letting the Past Hold You Back. "Many people come to me and say they cannot enjoy today because of something that happened in the past. Because they did not do something or do it in a certain way in the past, they cannot live a full life today. Because they no longer have something they had in the past they cannot enjoy today. Because they were hurt in the past, they will not accept love now. Because something unpleasant happened when they did something once, they are sure it will happen again today. Because they once did something that they are sorry for, they are sure there are bad people around them forever. Because once someone did something to them, it is now all that other person's fault their life is not where they want it to be today. Because they became angry over a situation in the past, they will hold on to that self, self-righteousness. Because of some very old experience where they were treated badly, they will never forgive and forget." Ways that we use our past as an excuse. Forgiving is not forgetting; it's letting go of the hurt. When you are so angry at your past or at someone in your past, it's like you are taking the poison and expecting them to die. Not even the universe can change the past. If something happened to you in your past, it is important that you look back but don't stare. It is important that you trace it, face it, and erase it. Let's talk about an audition that was botched up or a meeting that was botched up, or you were late, so you didn't get to do something in your career. Always keep in mind that you are doing the very best you can, if you could have done better than you would've.  If you say, "Well, I could do it better now, you're probably right." Letting the past hold you back is working against you instead of for you. As an actor, this business is so darn hard. Why are you going to make it harder for yourself? You don't deserve that. You deserve the very best the universe has to offer. Now it's time to accept that, and we accept that by starting to let go of our past. Let me focus on today on the present so that I may create a better future for myself, a future that works for me instead of against me. Because somebody else hurt, you doesn't mean you need to keep punishing yourself for that hurt. It all comes down to self-love. One day I realized this is the only person I can be. So let's have a love affair with ourselves. Just because something happens to you once doesn't mean it will happen to you again. I now look at challenges in my life as opportunities to grow stronger and to show myself that I am more capable, stronger, and smarter than I ever thought. I think everyone deserves to be forgiven. Forgiving ourselves is sometimes the hardest thing to do. Do you want to be right, or do you want to be happy? Forgiving is not forgetting. It's hanging onto the hurt, and this is the thing. If you're hanging onto the hurt, the only person you're hurting is you. The past is over and done with and cannot be changed. This is the only moment we can experience, even when we lament about the past. We are experiencing our memory of it in this moment and losing the real experience of this moment in the process. If you have one foot in the past and one foot in the future, you're pissing on the present. If there is something that you want to let go of. Write it down on a piece of paper and put it in a box. And then, in a month from now, look at it and see if you have let go of it just a little bit. And in the process, be as loving to yourself, as good to yourself, and as kind to yourself as you possibly can. Because I'm in your corner. I genuinely am in your corner to make your life and career move forward instead of staying stuck in the past.