Episode 244: How to Build Confidence One Decision at a Time, with American Confidence Institute Founder, Alyssa Dver

“Confidence is the resolution of fear.” Alyssa Dver ~ Founder of the American Confidence Institute and ERG Leadership Alliance and best-selling author of 8 books, including Confidence is a Choice and Kickass Confidence   How confident are you? Confidence is a loaded word—we all want it, but we don’t always (or often) feel it, especially when it’s needed for something important to us. Founder and head of both the American Confidence Institute and ERG Leadership Alliance and best-selling author of 8 books, Alyssa Dver is an expert who blends brain science, data and insights to help build confidence while creating lasting personal and cultural change. While most of us think confidence is a personality trait you’re born with or without, Alyssa disagrees. She notes that confidence is actually a skill—one that can be learned, practiced, and strengthened over time. Drawing on brain science, coaching experience, and years of research, Alyssa shows how confidence is built not by eliminating fear, but by understanding it and responding to it intentionally. Alyssa believes that fear often masks deeper concerns about failure, rejection, or belonging, and dealing with the sources of fear can effectively build confidence. One of the most compelling connections in relation to the Brilliantly Resilient mindset is the relationship between confidence and personal values. Alyssa argues that true confidence isn't about pushing through every challenge or saying yes to every opportunity. Instead, confidence comes from understanding what matters most and making decisions that align with those values. She encourages others to look beneath the surface of their fears, identify what is truly important to them, and use those priorities as guideposts. For women who often find themselves carrying responsibilities, meeting expectations, and putting others first, this perspective offers a powerful framework for making more intentional choices. The place of confidence also relates to belonging, self-trust, and the freedom that comes with experience. Alyssa suggests that many of our fears are rooted in concerns about what other people think and how those fears can keep us from showing up authentically. By learning to identify the real fear, challenge it, and take ownership of the decision-making process, individuals can develop greater confidence in themselves and their choices one decision at a time. Click here for more of Alyssa’s wisdom, listen to this week’s episode of the Brilliantly Resilient podcast, and be sure to check out these additional bits of brilliance: "Confidence is the result of a decision." "You took agency over that fear." "The fear isn't the presentation. There's something underneath there that's really causing it." "What's the worst that could happen? Let me give it a try." "That takes confidence—to admit you screwed up, you're wrong, you failed." "The older we get, the more we realize 99% of what freaked us out when we were young was so trivial." "If it's something that you really feel you need to do for whatever reason, then step into that and say, 'This is important to me.'" "Don't violate your own values and you'll be confident." "Every fear is (grounded in) this fear of not belonging." "The real boundaries, the rule book, is your values." Let’s all be Brilliantly Resilient together! XO, Mary Fran