Episode 267: 'Lockdown Legend' (Alyssa Westerlund)

What would it look like to Win the Pandemic? Comedian Alyssa Westerlund breaks up with her boyfriend at the beginning of Lockdown, and she's been dealing with the loneliness and depression of a deep-in-COVID world with Ayahuasca, DMT and blueberry smoothies. Then one sizzling August night, she's dancing naked in her living room when she feels her much younger neighbor's eyes on her. He confesses that he's in awe of her after listening to her having sex with strangers for years, and soon they're chatting, playfully eating ice cubes off/out of each other and doing push-ups. He's only 21 and she still doesn't know his name, but they have a standing date for a twice a week bang - and that means things are looking up. #MeetYourNeighbor #HeatWave #BestSexOf2020 #BusinessmansTrip Song: 'Naughty Girl Blues' (Queen Herby) About our Storyteller: Alyssa Westerlund's sweet, innocent looks belie her wicked sense of humor and spot on delivery. She inspires women and melts men, like toy soldiers in the microwave. Alyssa's stories will rip your guts out, tear your heart to pieces, grab you by the genitalia and not let go until you're in stitches. Oh, and join our Patreon (at any level) and you can watch the video of Alyssa's story, TOO: https://www.patreon.com/Bawdy Episode links: Please consider a donation of any amount to Bawdy Storytelling. The past 3 years have been financially devastating to this show, so your gift of any size can help keep us going. Other live events and venues are dropping like flies around us, and your generosity can help us weather the storm. Our donation links are: BuyMeACoffee: buymeacoff.ee/bawdy Venmo: Venmo.com/BawdyStorytelling Paypal: paypal.me/bawdystorytelling Zelle: [email protected] CashApp: $DixieDeLaTour Every single dollar helps right now - and THANK YOU! What's the Best way to support Bawdy? By becoming a Patreon member. This means that you'll provide ongoing monthly support to your favorite show and podcast. Join Bawdy's Patreon now and you'll get exclusive Patreon-only content, and my eternal gratitude. As a Bawdy Patreon member, your monthly membership ensures that we can continue. Become a Member now at https://www.patreon.com/Bawdy My forthcoming Substack 'The Dixie Ramble' is at https://substack.com/profile/22550258-dixie-de-la-tour #Subscribe What is Substack? "What is Substack" is a question with a deceptively simple answer. Yes, it's an email newsletter platform (made up of text, audio, video, etc). But it's also much more than that. Substack is known for its hands-off approach to censorship. While there are still some publishing guidelines (no porn, hate speech or harassment, for example), the platform's lack of gatekeeping has attracted both ground-breaking journalists and some seriously controversial writers". https://blog.hootsuite.com/what-is-substack/ (My Substack launch has been delayed by my life's latest calamity, but it'll start soon) Wanna work one-on-one with Dixie? Want to learn to tell a compelling, relatable story? I can help you dig deep, gain understanding and communicate with clarity. Whether it's getting onstage, writing a memoir, creating a podcast, or learning brand storytelling for your business, I've got experience and can help. Email me at [email protected] and let's make it happen. Bawdy Got Me Laid perfume, Bawdy Butter & more: Dixie has created her own fragrance: You'll love #BawdyGotMeLaid perfume, scented with golden honey, amber, ylang ylang, and warm vanilla. There's also our (scented or unscented) creamy Bawdy Butter, Hair & Bawdy Oil, & more. Bawdy Got Me Laid Merchandise means you can deliver your own great smelling Motorboats while supporting Dixie and Bawdy. Get yours today at https://bawdystorytelling.com/merchandise Check out our Bawdy Storytelling Fiends and Fans group on Facebook - it's a place to discuss the podcast's stories with the storytellers, share thoughts with your fellow listeners, & help Dixie make the podcast even better. Just answer 3 simple questions and you're IN! https://www.facebook.com/groups/360169851578316/ ProTip: Subscribe to the Bawdy Storytelling email list & you'll be notified of all upcoming storytelling workshops, livestreams, podcasts, live shows and Special Events first at https://bawdystorytelling.com/subscribe Thank you to the Team that makes this podcast possible! Team Bawdy is: Podcast Producer: Roman Den houdijker Sound Engineer: David Grosof Storytelling support by Mosa Maxwell-Smith Dixie's VA is Roillan James Additional support from Donal Mooney, Ty McKenzie & Crystal Crowe Bawdy's Creator & Podcast Host is Dixie De La Tour & Thank you to Pleasure Podcasts. Bawdy Storytelling is proud to be part of your sex-positive podcast collective! Tags: super attracted listening legend chill out think tour apartment smooth hallway bedroom wall juicy lips eating squirting slurping bend over asking size queen no inhibition fun laughing breaks pushups slow fast workout playful sex fun lingerie red lacy Claus riding next day ice cubes floor wet nipples purple watch porn ideas ice cube suck rubbing ice balls drinking bent over desk bitch new generation consent yes shower shot legit COVID weird depressed bubble girlfriends Ayahuasca hallucinogen DMT ceremony drive units Berkeley Bowl stage laid smoke parents lifelong burners Peru Ayahuasca 90's whoa new world shapes alive talking total escape night routine naked headphones Annie Lennox legend blender dancing shaking heat wave fires lightning 90 degrees insane air conditioning window open neighbor 6pack never spoken dog walked fluffy white dog latin porn star boy clothes optional open back door naked Modelo robe beer Jamba Juice smoothie talking guys pandemic turban hummer Porsche cars gist 6 pack parents generation card him ID Website: https://bawdystorytelling.com/ On Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bawdystorytelling/ Like us at www.Facebook.com/BawdyStorytelling Join us on FetLife: https://fetlife.com/groups/46341 Support us on Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/Bawdy Subscribe at Watch us on YouTube at http://bit.ly/BawdyTV Find out about upcoming Podcast episodes - & Livestreams - at www.BawdyStorytelling.com/subscribe