Episode 268 | The Bustometer

This one-hour episode of The Burt Selleck Podcast is a grimy, funny, totally undisciplined mess—in other words, exactly what fans expect. It opens mid-conversation and dives headfirst into a heady mix of lemonhead consumption strategies, hyper-specific butt talk, bizarre sports science, and group therapy for Detroit Lions fans.The episode’s standout moment? The invention of the Bustometer—a ghost-hunting, cum-detecting suppository that somehow becomes a 10-minute conversation about NFL performance metrics and supernatural prostate access. It’s like Shark Tank for people who haven’t slept in three days and just watched Death Stranding.Structurally, the episode is pure entropy, with the group ping-ponging from childhood sour candy trauma to haunted sex toys to poorly-disguised thirst for Herman Miller chairs. The second half dips a bit into local show plugs and inside-baseball stuff, but it never fully abandons its degeneracy.Would I recommend it? For returning listeners, absolutely. It’s a highlight reel of the podcast’s most unhinged tendencies. For newcomers—listen at your own risk. If you make it through the Bustometer segment without flinching, you might have found your people.