Episode 2701 - Lesson 12 - Sunday March 15 husbands and wives

Husbands and WivesSeveral sets of instructions for Christian homes are included in the New Testament (see Eph. 5:21-6:9, Col. 3:18-4:1, Titus 2:1-10, 1 Pet. 2:18-3:7). Notably, these "household codes," as they are called, are not completely hierarchical but include elements to make the relationships more reciprocal and mutually edifying.Read Colossians 3:18-19. What balance do you see? What additional counsels does Paul give in Ephesians 5:22-25, 33?Some men quote, "Wives, submit to your husbands" (Col. 3:18, ESV), and stop there, but notice the important qualifier Paul adds: "as is fitting in the Lord." Nowhere does the New Testament teach that women are to submit to all men; nor that wives are subservient or subjugated; nor that they are to blindly submit to their husbands' every whim or desire. Paul's point is that the wife's loyalty is to the Lord first and to her husband second. The wife's individuality must not be swallowed up by her husband, nor can he act as her conscience.Christ's love for the church in giving Himself up for her illustrates how husbands should love their wives (Eph. 5:25). They will be faithful regardless of the cost. They will make decisions that are in the best interests of the wife, though normally these interests should be aligned. Love like this makes it easier for the wife to obey God's command to respect her husband (Eph. 5:33).A healthy Christian marriage is characterized by mutuality--consulting each other, thinking things through together, and making decisions as a couple. Sometimes, when making decisions that have serious implications for the whole family, it may be appropriate to include children in these discussions, but never should parents quarrel in front of them. After such a process, if the husband and wife are unable to come to an agreement, the biblical path to peace is for the wife to acquiesce to her husband's judgment, provided it does not violate the Word of God. By the same token, most, if not all, husbands can recall times they were happy that they listened to their wives and took their advice. The more the husband and wife work together as a team, the happier the marriage will be.How can we avoid doing what has, unfortunately, been done all through history: taking the beautiful principles expressed in these texts and turning them into something evil?