EPISODE 271 - More Smarter

Toby Sheldon looks like Francis X. Bushlad from TAZ-MANIAPeople do some really dumb things. And there’s one fellow in Los Angeles who is no exception. That story is in our Breaking News section. More on that shortly. First a quick announcement. You can now listen to Who Asked You? on the iHeartRadio service from Clear Channel Broadcasting. They have a sleek, intuitive app that’ll allow you to customize your own personal station based on a huge array of streams from terrestrial stations as well as on-demand radio shows and podcasts (including ours). So if you’re looking for an alternative and/or addition to your current streaming and podcasting apps and programs, give iHeartRadio a go, and don’t forget to look us up on it! For our first show on iHeartRadio we’re missing two of our hosts. What a great start we’re off to. Dennis and Jabari peaced out, so Charlie, Mike and I held down the fort with the help of our pal wonkknow. You may remember him from… well… last week’s show when he filled in for Dennis. He and Charlie host another podcast called the GRAYAREA. You can check out the link to it below. One of the big stories this week was the death of voice actress Marcia Wallace. Undoubtedly, you’ve heard her work. Her most popular role was perhaps Edna Krabappel, the fourth grade teacher at Springfield Elementary School on THE SIMPSONS. Wallace worked in television for over 40-years and had an amazing array of gigs from sitcoms to cartoons to game shows. An executive for THE SIMPSONS said they’ll retire the Krabappel character from the show. This isn’t the first time they’ve done it. When Phil Hartman died his characters, Lionel Hutz and Troy McClure were also retired. This got us wondering… some of the actors on THE SIMPSONS do multiple voices. Frank Azaria, for example, does over 20 voices for the show. What would happen if he unexpectedly died? Or Dan Castellaneta who voices Homer among others? The show couldn’t continue. But, with a show like THE SIMPSONS which has been running for 25-years, you run the risk of something like this happening as your cast ages. Here’s hoping no one else goes anytime soon. I had no idea, as I’m sure you didn’t either, but we apparently stole Christmas from the Klingons. And it’s actually spelled, ‘Khristmas’. “A Very Klingon Khristmas” is a new fully illustrated book that came out last week which tells the history of the holiday on Qo’noS as well as how Kahless the Unforgettable vanquished his enemies and saved the Klingon people. There’s even a picture of baby Kahless in his manger holding his first Mek’leth blade. The 32-page book is available in hardcover and for the Kindle. Do the honorable thing and check it out. You have to wonder if scientists don’t sit around a dimly lit table playing poker with giant cigars drooping from their mouths throwing out study ideas amongst their drunken peers. Some studies, like the one I’m about to tell you about, seem a little unnecessary or perverted, or both. Researchers at Oxford University have found that men and women with fatter asses or thicker thighs are “more smarter” as I put it in the script, and often just as healthy as a thinner person. Turns out the fat stored in your rump and around your hips is a different kind than that deposited around your stomach. There’s higher levels of Omega-3 fatty acids in those folks which helps keep their brains healthy and other bodily functions going at peek performance. Do women benefit more from being pear shaped? If a nice round ass can make you smarter, how do you explain Kim Kardashian? And who the hell funded this study? These are all valid questions with which we may never have the answers. With all the products out there for helping you take a dump, you can almost open a store specifically focusing on the task. There are sprays, devices and furniture that make pinching one off more pleasant, efficient and undetectable (see Poopourri). And we’ve got yet ANOTHER product to assist your assquake. It’s called the Comfy Cushy. It’s a “shit pillow” as wonkknow describes it, that provides lower lumbar support for your back while you sit upon the porcelain throne. Like the big booty study, this raises many questions. Mainly, who reclines on the toilet while they lay some cable? Another question is why is this product, among other colors, available in white? That seems like a really bad idea seeing as it will be attached to a damned toilet! According to their own website, the company is on a mission of sorts to be the foremost supplier of toilet-related cushions and pillows. I don’t see there being much competition in this field, so I have no doubt they’ll succeed. And lastly, the guy I mentioned earlier; who not only takes the cake when it comes to doing dumb things. He ate it, shat it out — without a Comfy Cushion — and then smeared it on his face in the form of plastic surgery. Toby Sheldon, a 33-year-old ADULT, decided he wanted to look like Justin Beiber. So he dropped over a $100K for a number of procedures and the end result is that he looks NOTHING like Justin Beiber. Mike describes him best, saying he looks like Francis X. Bushlad from the old TAZ-MANIA cartoon. What do you think? Would you get plastic surgery to look like a celebrity? If so, which one? I hope your answer is ‘no’. If you’ve got $100,000 to play around with, there are more smarter things you could do with it. Show Links: Grayareashow.com Jackass Presents: Bad Grandpa Marcia Wallace on IMDb ABC’s “Once Upon A Time” Buy “A Very Klingon Khristmas” The Cushy Comfort TheConsumerist.com: Charmin Deploys Toilet Paper Sheet Shrink Ray… ABC News: Does More Butt And Thigh Fat Make You Healthier? TheNational: FNC wants toucher laws against sorcery