Episode 279: Stop Diagnosing Your Kids: Rethinking "Behavior Problems" Through Development and Love

The meltdown. The defiance. The constant "look at me." It's easy to wonder if something is wrong. But most of the time, these aren't signs of a disorder — they're signs of development still in progress. In this episode, Dr. Greg explores what's really underneath "behavior problems," why children can't be diagnosed with personality disorders, and why the question that changes everything isn't "what's wrong with my child?" — but "what does my child need from me right now?" Key Topics: Why children cannot be diagnosed with personality disorders — and what's actually happening when their behavior looks like one How emotional regulation is learned, not innate — and what co-regulation actually looks like Why a child's dramatic, self-centered, or defiant behavior is often developmentally appropriate What it means when a child borrows a parent's nervous system — and why that steadiness is the foundation Why the patterns we see in our kids so often point back to something in us How a parent's own unhealed wounds shape the environment a child grows up inside Why admitting our own imperfection is one of the most formative things we can give our children Learn More: CatholicPsych Newsletter - Sign up to stay connected and hear the latest developments! Start of the Being Human series on the Histrionic Defense Patterns:   Ep. #274: To Be Loved Is to Perform: Inside the Histrionic Compulsion for Attention and Validation Start of the Being Human series on the Borderline Defense Patterns: Ep. #269: BORDERLINE: The Push-Pull Between a Fear of Abandonment and Annihilation Start of the Being Human series on the Dependent Defense Patterns: Ep. #265: Jerry Maguire, Gollum, and the Fear of Not Existing Start of the Being Human series on the Narcissistic Defense Patterns: Ep. #261: Narcissism and the Terror of Being Ordinary Pilgrimage to Poland - Learn more about this journey with St. John Paul II Summit of Integration 2026 - Sign up to learn more about this year's event! Healing Retreat in Wyoming - Learn more about our upcoming retreat experience. The Stages of Spiritual Development - Previous Being Human episode on how the stages of human development are interrelated to the stages of spiritual development. Need help? Schedule a free CatholicPsych consultation Want to help? Learn more about our Certification in Professional Accompaniment Follow Us on Socials: Instagram | Facebook | YouTube | Twitter (X) | LinkedIn