EPISODE · Jun 23, 2026 · 40 MIN
Episode 284: Stop Chasing Spiritual Highs: Why Real Healing Happens in the Ordinary
from Being Human · host Dr. Gregory Bottaro
Your prayer life can be how you avoid healing. In this final episode of the antisocial series, Dr. Greg unpacks why a retreat high or a powerful devotional moment can convince you the healing is done — when the actual work hasn't started yet, and why that work happens in the small, unglamorous moments nobody puts on a holy card. Key Topics: Why the most moving retreat of your life can leave you exactly the same — and what actually changes you What "magical penance" reveals about the parts of us that prefer grand gestures to real repair Why healing happens in what you do on an ordinary Tuesday, not in the moments when everything breaks open How a soft heart and a defenseless heart are not the same thing — and why that distinction changes everything Why the urge to be "healed already" is itself a form of the pattern you're trying to change Why re-hardening after you've opened up isn't failure — it's part of doing the reps Learn More: Earlier in this series on the Antisocial Defense Patterns: Antisocial Part 1 — Ep. #281: Control or Be Controlled: The Devastating Wounds Behind Antisocial Behavioral Patterns Antisocial Part 2 — Ep. #282: You're (Probably) Not a Serial Killer—But You May Share Some of Their Antisocial Traits Antisocial Part 3 — Ep. #283: "I Will Never Be Hurt Again": How Jesus' Sacred Heart Breaks the Cycle The Wounded Healer by Henri Nouwen — the book Dr. Greg references on accompaniment and the standard of showing up, not being healed Person and Act by Karol Wojtyła (Pope St. John Paul II) Love and Responsibility by Karol Wojtyła (Pope St. John Paul II) Previous episode on boundaries: Ep. #254: Navigating "Toxic" Relationships: Setting Boundaries Without Losing Charity Start of the Being Human series on the Histrionic Defense Patterns: Ep. #274: To Be Loved Is to Perform: Inside the Histrionic Compulsion for Attention and Validation Start of the Being Human series on the Borderline Defense Patterns: Ep. #269: BORDERLINE: The Push-Pull Between a Fear of Abandonment and Annihilation Start of the Being Human series on the Dependent Defense Patterns: Ep. #265: Jerry Maguire, Gollum, and the Fear of Not Existing Start of the Being Human series on the Narcissistic Defense Patterns: Ep. #261: Narcissism and the Terror of Being Ordinary Need help? Schedule a free CatholicPsych consultation Want to help? Learn more about our Certification in Professional Accompaniment Follow Us on Socials: Instagram | Facebook | YouTube | Twitter (X) | LinkedIn
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Episode 284: Stop Chasing Spiritual Highs: Why Real Healing Happens in the Ordinary
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