Episode #2x12: Candy Wrapper

Welcome back, sycophants. • We’re joined this week by comedian Liz Magee for our first “Ask Me Anything” style interview! Check her out on Twitter: @JokesMagee • Our LOTR movie commentary is coming on April 11th. The eagles are coming! • Quickfire News takes us to Chuck Grassley’s secret Q&A events and Ted Cruz’s deviant fantasies. Spoiler alert: You don’t want to participate in either of these things. • The FBI managed to unlock the San Bernardino shooter’s phone on its own. Everyone tweet “@FBI please clap.” Tag us. • Liz Magee describes in vivid, burning detail the struggles of being prone to UTI’s. • What do you do when you have 15 minutes of airtime to fill, and only 5 minutes of dick jokes? • We learn a little bit about what it’s like to be one of the few women in stand-up comedy. Don’t worry - it’s just like being a woman in any male dominated field! • The world is shocked to know that women like to laugh! Shocked we tell you! • No Context is brought to you this week by ‘Matt can’t follow directions.’ In this week’s installment of After Dark, we introduce Liz to Devil’s Advocate and have a discussion on the broke millennial experience. • Stop telling us when our balances fall below $25. We’re acutely fucking aware. • We share some of the most bizarre jobs we’ve taken to help pay the rent. One of them involves a cat named “Apache.” • Somehow this turns into a discussion about how we can make bank producing dinosaur porn? What? • We don’t even know how we got here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices