EPISODE 3: THE SUMMER OF THE MASSACRE (2006)

Well, this is just terrible. A bafflingly misguided “tribute” to the grimy horror films of the 70s – most notably THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE – this British shot-on-video horror film starts out awful before eventually grinding down to reprehensibly boring, lost in a sea of improvised conversations and endless, style-less chase scenes. Not only does director Bryn Hammond have the writing skill of a four year old – ably demonstrated by the multitude of confusing, near-unreadable title cards at the beginning and end – but his direction totally sabotages some very attractive locations, and the editing is about as amateurish as your grandmother’s home movies. This is about as close to a cinematic root-canal as you’re likely to find.