Episode 3: When Help Is Not Help - When ‘Helping’ Hurts - How to Support, Not Overstep, an Alzheimer's Thriver

Send us Fan MailIf you've ever been given help  by a loved one — only to find they accidentally made things worse — you're not alone. In this heartfelt episode, Janna and her husband Larry open up about the delicate balance between offering help and respecting independence. Through honest conversations and real-life examples, they share what it really feels like when “help” is not help, crossing the line — and how small shifts in patience, communication, and trust can make all the difference. You'll discover: Why “less is more” when it comes to helping someone thrive How emotional swings are natural — and what true empathy looks like Tips for building routines that empower, not control How care partners can better support without taking over.  Be sure to visit www.alzheimersthriver.org for more info Studies and Articles on Topic for todays Podcast:·  “Supporting independence at home for people living with dementia” – M Leverton et al., 2021.This ethnographic study explores how home-care workers (and by extension family caregivers) can either support or inhibit independence in people living with dementia. It speaks directly to the idea of doing too much too quickly, rather than enabling the person to “do for themselves” and stay active. PMC·  “‘I just keep thinking that I don’t want to rely on people.’ A qualitative study of independence in older people living with dementia” – P Rapaport et al., 2020.This qualitative research captures voices of people living with dementia as they reflect on independence vs. interdependence. It’s helpful context for your theme of finishing sentences for them or acting too quickly. BioMed Central·  “Promoting Independence With Alzheimer’s Care” – article in Alzinfo (2013).This is a more accessible piece (not strictly peer-reviewed journal) but very relevant: it discusses research showing that when caregivers assume too many duties, it can create a “dependency support script” and diminish the person’s sense of self-worth. Fisher Center for Alzheimer's Research·  “Perceived Overprotection and Its Association with Quality of Life in Dementia” – (ResearchGate abstract)This study examines how partner over-protection (i.e., perhaps doing too much for the person) is associated with worse outcomes for the person with dementia, likely through loss of autonomy. ResearchGate·  “Priorities of Family Caregivers in Preserving Functional Abilities of Individuals with Alzheimer’s Disease” – 2024.This study uses the Best-Worst Scaling method to identify what family caregivers value most in preserving daily living skills of Alzheimer’s patients. It ties into your theme: if the caregiver is always stepping in, those abilities may decline. Community Health Nursing·  “Evaluating Elements of the Care Partner Experience in Individuals who Care fBe sure to go to our website at alzheimersthriver.org to learn more about Larry and Janna's adventures.