Episode 30: Rollerball

“Just close your eyes and take the money, okay?” were most likely the words LL Cool J actually advised to Chris Klein following their bending over to take this ass-ramming to their careers in 2002’s repulsive remake, Rollerball. You know you’re in for a bad time when you find out that one of the movie’s own stars slammed it while he was out promoting it. In the dystopian future of 2005, star athlete/adrenaline junkie Jonathan Cross gets recruited by his “high school” buddy Marcus Ridley to compete in Rollerball, a violent hybrid of roller derby, wrestling and lacrosse (sort of) in Russia, Asia and Eastern Europe.