Episode 31 - When Putting Yourself Last Catches Up

Episode 31: When Putting Yourself Last Catches UpIn this episode, Jen Hoyer explores the all-too-common experience of women putting themselves last while caring for others, and the impact this has on health and happiness. She shares personal stories—including the “coconut cream pie” anecdote—discusses the importance of boundaries, and offers practical strategies for finding balance between self-care and caring for others.Timestamps & Key Topics:[0:00] IntroductionJen introduces the episode and the theme of putting yourself last.[0:51] The Common StoryJen shares how often women come to her feeling overwhelmed from years of self-neglect.[1:38] Why Women Do ThisExploring the caregiving instinct and how it’s ingrained in women.[2:24] The Cost of Caring for OthersWhen the strength of caring for others starts to cost us.[2:42] Men vs. Women: A StoryA story illustrating the difference in how men and women approach decisions and responsibilities.[4:56] Strengths Overused Become WeaknessesHow selflessness can become a weakness if overused.[5:25] People Pleasing PatternsJen reflects on her own journey with people pleasing and boundary setting.[6:13] The Coconut Cream Pie StoryA personal anecdote about saying yes to please others, even when it’s not true to yourself.[7:13] The Pendulum SwingHow we sometimes overcorrect and become too rigid with boundaries.[8:15] Honoring Two TruthsBalancing the desire to help others with the need to care for yourself.[9:04] The Yoga of BalanceUsing yoga as a metaphor for the constant adjustments needed to maintain balance.[10:03] Why Your Reason MattersThe energy behind your actions—obligation vs. love—changes everything.[10:26] Emotions as CluesHow emotions like resentment, overwhelm, and guilt signal when you’re out of balance.[12:06] Five Strategies for BalanceJen shares five actionable steps for regaining balance:Listen to your emotionsUnderstand your “why”Have hard conversationsDelete, delegate, or delayKeep readjusting and stay authentic[19:52] Midlife and Redefining BalanceHow needs and balance shift over time, especially in midlife.[20:45] Prioritizing Your HealthWhy your health matters for your joy, relationships, and future.[21:14] The Coconut Cream Pie ReflectionJen asks listeners to reflect on their own “coconut cream pie” moments—times they said yes when they meant no.[22:24] Final ThoughtsEncouragement to keep adjusting and protecting your own space.Want to go deeper and experience how coaching can change your journey? Learn more about The Wellness Mastery Society at www.wellnessmasteryforlife.com/thesocietyWant to learn more?Check out my website at www.wellnessmasteryforlife.com and follow me on Instagram @wellnessmastery4life or Facebook facebook.com/WellnessMastery4Life