Episode 310: Unsupportive Family & Friends

Try out the weekly class Today I'm going to talk about what I find a sad subject, and it is about unsupportive friends and unsupportive family members. And I'm gonna give you a few points and things to think about. So that you can have the support, at least from me, and I'll talk about getting more support in a moment, that helps you when you're dealing with this.  Now, the first thing, and I know because, man, I hated this word when I first learned it, was boundaries. Learning to set boundaries, clearly communicate your goals and values to others, and establish boundaries when necessary.  This helps you to protect your energy and stay focused on what matters most to you without having that negativity affect you.  Now, I think that's really important, and I'm going to say something about boundaries in a moment, but I also need to teach you this little phrase. Don't go to the hardware store for lemons.  If you know that a family member or a particular friend is not supportive of your acting career, here's an idea stop talking to them about it.  Stop talking to them about it. You have a choice. Here's another idea. They call, you find them difficult to deal with this particular person. Don't pick up the phone. Let it go to voicemail. And call them back when you feel strong.  When you feel strong.  There's another great phrase. I just thought of it. I learned this in a 12 step program, which is Don't dial pain. Or don't text pain. If that person, if you know that person, is not going to give you the empathy, the love, the support that you need, go to someone else, and if you don't know who to go to, oh, for goodness sakes, please shoot me an email.  Email me The other thing here and it goes right into it, is you want to limit negative interactions. When I go to places where I don't feel that I'm really going to be supportive, I remind myself that all I need to do is be civil and polite.  And sometimes if it's like a party, I can ask questions. And just listen to other people. I don't have to be giving everything of myself. It's not required. It's not my duty to entertain people.  I can ask them how their lives are doing. And I am going to walk away feeling, one, good that I was there for another person, but two, also that I have protected myself.  Limit negative interactions.  If there are certain people consistently undermining your efforts, consider reducing the time you spend with them. I always say there's another phrase that is arrive late and leave early, arrive late and leave early.  And also, the restroom can be a wonderful place to just reconnect yourself, to gather your thoughts, to gather your resolve.  If you're in situations that you can't get out of your family.  For example, I, by the way my parents are the most supportive people in the whole world, so I can't imagine not having supportive family members. But I have had unsupportive friends, so I can relate.  You want to support yourself with positivity whenever possible to keep your motivation strong. That's one of the things that is so freaking wonderful about that weekly adjustment class. We are All supporting each other. It's such a wonderful class on that line. Seek external support. We cannot do this on our own. It takes a village. We want to find like minded individuals who can uplift and encourage you and whether that is through an online community or getting a mentor or having supportive friends.  Those are the people you want to be support surrounding you yourself with as much as possible because their reinforcement can balance out any negativity from other people. I think it does so much more than balance it out. I think it tips the scale.  Also, Remember to stay focused on your vision. Remind yourself of why you are pursuing your goals.  And remind yourself that you are worth it.  And that you were put on this planet for a reason.  And it is worth you standing up for. Focus on your vision. on your long term vision.  When you do that, it helps you to remain steadfast, even when those around you may not.  Support your choices. Don't abandon yourself, and don't abandon your dreams. You are worth it. You are worth it.  Finally, respond with compassion. Oof, this is a toughie. Sometimes, unsupportive friends or families, family, may be acting out because of their own fears or their own misunderstandings.  Try to respond with empathy, but don't let their worries derail your progress.  Focus on your path, knowing that their opinions do not define your self worth. If someone is saying that I'm worried that you're in a risky job, with your goal of being an actor.  Tell them that you can handle it.  Tell them how much you love and appreciate that they're concern, but that you've got this and that all you ask is that they love you.  They don't even have to support you, but just that they love you. Just that they're your friend. And then you can make the mental note of whether they heard that or not, and of whether you go to them again.  Whatever you don't quit five minutes before the miracle. Don't do it. Keep going. Consistence. Persistence. Tenacity.