Episode 36: The Blame Game - Moving from Finger-Pointing to Connection

Humans are wired to make meaning out of what happens to us, so when something feels bad, we go looking for a reason (in an effort to avoid it next time). In relationships, that search often turns into blame…which devolves into criticism instead of the actual result we're hoping for.In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Howard Eudy (relationship & sex therapist) and Dr. Alex DiGrado (pelvic floor physical therapist) explain why blame and anger are usually secondary emotions covering something else underneath, and how naming that feeling gets you closer to real accountability and change than pointing fingers ever will.Dr. Rebecca also shares how this all shows up with her own kids, plus a personal update on 40 days of yoga nidra that's changed how she handles the heated moments.What you'll learn:Humans being “meaning makers” is a survival instinct that sometimes goes awry.The difference between truly taking responsibility…and just taking the blame to keep the peace.Vulnerability will always get you further than blame.Kids learn to stop blaming each other by watching us take accountabilityTune in if you've ever thought:"Why do I get so defensive the second something comes up? Am I just being too sensitive?”"My kid blames everyone else for their behavior. Is that normal?""Why is it so hard to talk about how I feel instead of what they did wrong?" Helpful resources:Find a pelvic floor PT near you: pelvicrehab.com or Pelvic Global DirectoryParents in Love: A Guide to Great Sex After Kids by Dr. Rebecca Howard Eudy Learn more about Ali Schmidt's yoga nidra practice; check her out on Insight Timer; and listen to our UTH podcast episode with Ali here! Connect with us:Dr. Rebecca Howard EudyWebsite: rebeccaeudy.comInstagram: @rebeccahowardeudyNewsletter: Parents in Love SubstackDr. Alexandra DiGradoWebsite: bostonpelvicpt.comInstagram: @bostonpelvicptNewsletter: Under the HoodUnder the Hood PodcastInstagram: @underthehooddocsWebsite: underthehoodpod.com***If you enjoyed this episode, please follow Under the Hood, share with a friend, and leave a quick rating. It takes 30 seconds, but it is the best way to help our show grow and reach more people. Thank you for listening!