Episode 3672: Robert F. Kennedy Jr.'s Ass Has Finally Decided To Eat His Own Hand

The boys are back after an emotionally taxing summer for both lobster nation and the regular nation. It is a well-known fact to all lobster-heads that we are notorious swing fraudsters who will willingly commit amazing amounts of voter fraud for whichever presidential candidate's party pays us more, and once again, Nancy P. and her good-time gang of evil Demon-Rats are coughing up more cash from the DNC's deep coffers for us to fake it 'til Kamala makes it this year. We sure as hell hope we're up to the task because Biden didn't go down without a fight, and Trump - for whatever reason - refuses to go down at all for what's been nearly half of our lives now. Jesus fucking Christ. Jesus fucking Christ, somebody please stop this. Three fucking election cycles in a row. Please, for the love of God, Jesus fucking Christ. This is exhausting. We are exhausted. Fuck. FUCK! We do talk about sports in this episode since there were a lot of sports to cover this summer. Not the Olympics though. The Olympics aren't sports. The Olympics are insanely boring nerd shit. Until this summer, I genuinely had no idea so many of you watched the Olympics. And, like, cared about them. Like, you'll willingly watch them on TV for hours at a time and just be riveted. They've made movies, you know. They've made TV shows, too. There are even real sports to watch! Because in America, politics are the realest sports of all, and that's what we discuss in this episode. Sports.