Episode 384 - Luring Easily-Distracted Travelers Since Time Immemorial

People who live in real places, like New York, or L.A., or Calgary, do have to occasionally travel from one real place to another, and sometimes the only option is to drive. This means traveling through the areas in the world that are collectively known to anthropologists as "the dumpster". The unfortunate people who live in these "dumpster" areas (again, it's the technical term) have absolutely nothing going for themselves. Distracting "real" people, and possibly jingling a coin or two out of their pockets, is the greatest height to which they can aspire. Truly, they want only to touch the hem of their robe, to feel the presence of a real life well-lived. Lived as life should be lived, not sucking scum off the bottom of the dumpster (seriously, I've heard that they're fine with this term). Over the years, this lower, more dumpstery, form of life has developed several methods for producing these brushes with greatness. These methods usually involve large, painted plywood models of things, or objects designated the world's ______-est ______. They've proven quite effective.