Episode 43 - Unspoken Rules

One of the two. Yeah. But it was just funny because yes, you are testing the audio, but that purpose is to actually test to make sure it works. Yeah.

More of a mic check than an audio check. So just simple little rules to unspoken rules you could say. Yeah, unspoken little jumping the gun there. But what are you talking nonsense?

I'm your host Kyle. I'm Christopher. I was supposed to say and I'm here with. Yeah.

Anyways, Chris, but not your good man. But yeah. So have you ever been like invited to a party? No.

Wow. Okay. So you've been invited to some place and you only do a certain amount of people that are there. Yeah.

Or whatever. And do you feel like it's your obligation to introduce yourself to those people that you don't know? No. Okay.

No. So the person who invited you is obligation to do it. I think it depends on who you are to that person and what the context of that social setting is. Okay.

So if I had a girlfriend and she pointed me over to one of her friends gatherings and yeah, I expect introductions or whatever. But if it's just recently we went to our co-workers, we went to our co-workers. There's a like kind of like, was it a wedding reception? No, it's not a reception.

But his wedding. Yeah, his wedding. So we went to that. But because we're like kind of peripheral friends at that in that social context, I think introductions could be skipped because one, the person who we went for was obviously, it was his wedding.

But it's also like, in that sense, it's like for his kind of close friends and family, maybe introductions for you might have been more appropriate, but like since I'm just kind of his coworker, it's like, so you're basically on the social ranking. Yeah. Right. So on that note though, where like depending on the relationship or what the status is, like if it was a relationship and like let's say your girlfriend didn't invite you to a family party or something, wouldn't it?

Like, I agree. I feel like if she invited you, then she should be doing introductions because she's introducing you to her family, your friends, right? Yeah. But at the same time, doesn't it also look better if you just introduce yourself?

Because doesn't that make you stand out more and be like, oh wow, this guy actually came up to me. Yeah, no, that's for sure. I think that one works if you're handsome and not agree. Fair.

No, because I mean me personally because I am like an introvert. I know for sure if I'm going to go up to somebody and try to introduce myself. Yeah. It's not going to come out right.

Hi, don't my name. Like that's some shit I would do. Right. Just knowing me.

So I also think if you're kind of in that context, if you're going with your girlfriend or if you're going to meet this girl and like you're into her, I also think you kind of have to play to your strengths. So if you know, you're going to like, flood up your like intro, like I think it's okay to play it safe and wait for her introduction. Okay. But you got me a quick judgment call because if it's like not within the first couple minutes, yeah, like you got, I think you got to step up to that.

And just be like, yo, my name's good. I doubt it's nice to meet you or something. Yeah. I think it's also fair to say that if they do invite you, it's okay.

Like it's for them to introduce you to the main people, like let's say their parents, maybe their favorite cousin, their siblings or something like that. Right. But then everybody else, I think at that point, because like let's say it's a huge part, right? Like when I invite Rebecca to Thanksgiving.

Yeah. Yeah. I can't remember. Yeah, she did.

So I, you know, I introduced her mainly to the main folks, you know, my sister brother, all that stuff, right? And then after that, it's not that like I didn't want to introduce her to anybody else, but it was more so we have so many people in the family that it's just like, I'm not going to take the time to be like, oh, this is it. Oh, this is it. That's a good like hour.

Yeah. And it's like at that point and the fact that she's just so outgoing and has a good personality, she went ahead and introduced herself. Yeah. So that's fine.

Yeah. So I think in that sense, if I bring a girlfriend over or whatever to a family party, I would introduce her, but then I also expect her to introduce herself to make a good impression. You know what I mean? Yeah.

No, that's fair. Yeah. So I'm going to get maybe that's just me being an introvert. No, no, introvert.

It's okay. Wow. And no balls. I was only going to take a quick.

I need a cry real quick. No, I think that's just like, I don't think that's like dominating in a way or like possessive, but I get like to an extent, I feel like it is. What? Like, if I'm introducing like my girlfriend to everyone, it's like, I, because I see why you want her to make a good impression and like let her do it on her own.

Yeah. So I mean, I feel like that kind of let's her express herself in the way I was thinking about how I was just like, that's kind of like domineering in a way or like kind of possessive in a way not like how I wanted to kind of do this on her own. But I said, I would. No, I'm talking about myself though.

Oh, okay. Yeah. But I mean, that's just something I just thought about in the mindset. So what if it's like a group of, well, you said even if it's a group of friends, you feel like they should still introduce you?

Yeah. Well, at least, so if it's like a group of friends thing, if it's like, like you guys are going out, like you just be like, oh guys, this is like Mary Mary, this is like my group friends. Right. And then just kind of like, if she wants to like talk to, and then like, you know, if it can't, it's like, I don't know what it means.

So and so like I feel like at that point, the introductions can just be one on one and like kind of break down. You don't need to be like, set, like bring someone side big. Oh, Mary, this is Joe. Joe, this is Mary.

Yeah. Like it. Well, let's let's flip it then. Is it also the friends or the people who, like let's say they know ahead of time that, oh, someone's going to bring their new boyfriend or their new girlfriend, right?

Yeah. Is it also like, could it possibly be their responsibility to introduce themselves to that person because this is a new person that's coming into their group setting, right? Yeah. So they should know that they kind of feel maybe uncomfortable or not.

Yeah. So they should make it worse. Yeah. So they should be like, I mean, you know, like, well, how was it for you then?

Like when one of your past girlfriends introduced you to her friends, the day be like, oh, hey, how's it going? I'm the first or? I'm trying to think. So I know you have so many past girlfriends.

Whatever. No, I don't. We're not going to talk about that. Hey, people are asking about a lot of life.

Oh, my God. If you guys want to hear it, vote down below. Let me know. Yeah.

I'll arrange it. So referencing like, you know, when I was seeing Kimberly. Oh, we're ningling. Oh, I mean, and everyone else already knows.

When I was when I was seeing Kimberly, like, we've she told me about her friends beforehand before meeting them because I asked because I was nervous about making a good impression. Yeah. So I was like, oh, like, so who's anything that I should not say or say? Yeah.

Yeah. Like, so who am I meeting? Is there anything I shouldn't talk about or I shouldn't bring up? Like, is anyone vegan because I can just leave because I'll think it no longer be a friend.

Yeah. I'm just kidding. For vegan, I'm sorry, but not really. No, sorry.

They don't have the protein to fight. Yeah. But yeah, so I mean, I've always asked. Although I think if I think it's a bit more nerve-wracking as a guy introducing a girlfriend to your friends and family, then vice versa.

Really? I think so. Why? I don't know.

I feel that way because if I have a girlfriend, I wait. I'm crying. If I had a girlfriend, right? I generally tend to put them on a pedestal.

Like, oh, she's like, she's confident. She's like, she's got this. She doesn't need to worry about anything. I worry because I'm a social clets.

And so I'm always going to be worried about dropping the ball on like introduction, which I have at Thanksgiving when I was seeing Kimberly. I mean, you know, we're not going to get that. But yeah. Whereas vice versa, like if you know you're being introduced to your girlfriend's family or friends, like.

You feel less worried then? I feel like I would be for sure because I haven't fully met all over Rebecca's family. Yeah. I still haven't met her dad.

And when I met her mom, it was kind of a fluke. Not a fluke, but it was just by accident because me and Rebecca had gone to church and her mom just had to be there, right? So she was like, oh, my mom's here. Let's go step up my mom.

I'm like, oh, OK. Good thing it was church. We're going to talk. So it was quiet.

That's the first question. Yeah. I was like, oh my god. He goes to church.

But I don't want to church, boy. Yeah. And then like for me, there was also another moment where she introduced me to basically her close group of friends that she considers family. Like they're basically her family, right?

And it was like a lot of them. She's like, hey, come over. You know, I mean, I'm pretty much outgoing. Yeah.

So as I saw, well, as perfect as I showed up first, right? So all her friends I had a, I showed up first and then all her friends thrown up later. So I was already there. So as they were coming in, I like, she was like, oh, this is my girlfriend Kyle or I like, hey, I'm Kyle.

Like before Rebecca was even there, Rebecca was like in the back getting stuff ready. Yeah. I was just getting it and they would come in and then I introduced myself. Yeah.

And after that was fine, but I was still nervous. Yeah. No, I mean, I think that the reason why I think it's easier being introduced is because like. That's something where you're kind of in control, like percentage-wise, if you were to look at it, being introduced as the introductory, 50% of that's on you.

So you have more control in that situation, I feel like. I'm sorry, you're saying so many big words right now. So like, if you're being introduced to someone, right? Yeah.

I think like, if you were to look at it, 50% of it's on you, and 50% of it is on that whoever you're being introduced to. Okay. So I feel like you have a little bit more control there. Well that's how?

It's 50, 50. It falls on you though. Like, you know, it's just, like, you're part of it. It's just- So should it be more 60, 40?

Oh, I guess whatever. Because when you say 50, and then you say you have more control, that seems like you still have to stay without a control as the other person. Actually, you're right. But- Sorry, I gotta check you know, check you on your facts.

But you're still- No, like, I mean, it's just, it falls on you. Like, and I feel like there's a comfort in that. Whereas if you're introducing, like, someone to somebody else, it's like, you don't know if those two are gonna get along. But if you're being the one introduced, you can make that sincere effort.

Like, okay, come into this open-minded- No, I guess I'm starting to understand a little bit more what you're saying. So basically, if you're introducing someone, right, like, you're kind of just a middleman and you're like, okay, now do your best performance. Yeah, like that's it. Yeah.

You're like the real leader and then- But they're being introduced, you're like the circus monkey. Right. But then at that point though, don't you feel like it's less pressure when you are introducing someone else than? I don't see why you feel it's more pressure when you're introducing someone.

You know what I mean? Because as you're saying, you have, they're the ones that kind of have to impress whoever they're being introduced to. Yeah. Feeling rather than like a general standard.

You know what I mean? I think that's just more who I am. Okay. That makes sense.

Yeah. So overall, we agree that if someone invites you to a party, they should introduce you. Yeah, for the most part. For the most part.

I agree. Because I hate it when I get invited to stuff and I don't know how to- Most be nice. It's really nice when you have friends. But like, no, I just hate it though when I don't know how to people there and then the person who invited me is just like all the wrong.

Like talking to all the friends, I'm just like, I'm not for sure what the fuck am I going to do? I mean, at that point, yes, Kyle, girls and balls talk to people, right? But at the same time, it's like, well, they invited me. Yeah.

So kind of about this situation, I remember when I went to- It was one of my very first raves and I went with their two cousins and a bunch of like their friends. Yeah. And so because I rode with them, a bunch of their friends who were already at hotel were girls and yeah, like I'm pretty sure at this point, everyone's like, oh, why don't you start like chatting them up, right? Yeah.

I can't. I'm just not that guy. And so it was- and they were all getting ready for the rave. So they were doing like hair, makeup, all that jazz.

And I was just like, fucking, dude, this is not a good time to talk to the bunch. Like a bunch of them because they're all trying to get ready. I don't want to like, just, you know, I don't want to fucking just be there while they're getting their hair. So hey, you know, do you like long walks on the beach?

Like, you know what I mean? In that sense, I kind of do wish like they would have introduced you and also stuck around for the conversation just to like, yeah, ease it, ease it in, just get it going. But you know, it is what it is. Yeah.

What I what I tend to do is I just find one person out of that big group, like let's say I'm at a party, right? I find one person in that big group that I could possibly click with and then just stick with them and be like, oh yeah, whatever, whatever. Yeah. But yeah, so switching a little bit or if we're not switching a little bit, I guess we're still on the same topic.

But like what if, like let's say someone invites you out to go somewhere, right? Who, who do you expect to drive? Or so, I mean, like I guess for example, like let's say I had invited you, like hey, let's go to San Francisco, right? Who's driving?

I mean, that, that's a good one. That's tough. Because I feel like that depends on the like the destination and also kind of like because you're inviting you out. Yeah.

You expect me to drive? Yeah. Or if it's like, because I'm assuming the way that is, it's like, oh, we're going, oh, let's go to San Francisco because I live on the way to San Francisco. Yeah.

You're already on the way. Right. You're on the way to San Francisco. So like, yeah, it makes more sense for me just to like hop in your car.

But like, I think it's okay to say like, oh, can we take your car or can we like switch it up? You know, but if it's like a road trip, if we're going to like fucking like Portland, right? Neither of us have been there before. So I think it, and that's like a 10 hour drive.

So I think in that sense, like it's okay to be like, I'll drive this portion of it. You drive that or like just hang me in the tire, like switch it up. But I think that's more of like a driving thing rather than an unspoken rule. Right.

Well, I mean, is it okay though, if someone doesn't bite you out, right? Like, oh, hey, let's go. Let's go to club tonight, right? Is it okay to be like, okay, well, who's driving?

Yeah. It's not rude to ask. No, no, no, because especially if you're going to club, because I feel like who's driving leads to the question of who's going to be the DD for the night. Right.

And like, if you're expressly buying someone just to be your DD, that's kind of an asshole thing. Well, I kind of know people who do that. I feel like that's kind of an asshole thing. Yeah, well, they're assholes.

So what do you rude to say like, hey, like, if you're buying someone who doesn't drink, and you expressly tell them like, I do want to hang out with you, but I know drink. Can you DD? Is that like a fair, is that too rude or is that? I guess it depends on the whole friendship.

Yeah. Yeah, if you guys are like homies, then yeah, I don't see what's wrong with that. Yeah. You know, because then it's also fair for that person, if they feel like, well, I was rude, be like, no, no, dude, the fuck, no, yeah, like, we'll Uber home.

I'm not going to drink, but let's fucking Uber. I'm not going to drive either. Yeah, yeah, for sure. Yeah.

Yeah. But so I agree to like, if depending on destination, wherever it's at, compared to whoever you invited, is going to determine who's going to drive. Yeah. It just only makes sense if the place that you invited the person to go to, they live on the way to the destination.

Yeah. Why not pick them up, right? Yeah. Or is it okay to be like, I'm driving your house, but can you drive to the destination?

I think that's very, especially if the destination is closer to them. And like, you going to their house is like farther for you. So like, like the whole go on San Francisco, I think it's fair to say like, hey, you know, can I drive to your house, but can you drive or can we take your car? Yeah.

And I'll fully admit, most of the time you do drive San Francisco, but that's because I'm a like, you don't know how to drive. Yeah. It's that, you know, I would have if you were driving now, just because my car accident. Yeah.

So I mean, like knowing that, I think that's fair to you. It's like really like, oh, can you drive or can we take your car, et cetera, et cetera. But if you're going to like Disneyland too, like that, or I mean, that's kind of an extreme example. But if you had a friend in LA that's an extreme example, you gave Portland as an example earlier.

But we're like in the context of a road trip. Right. And it's also sort of a road trip because you're going all the way to LA. Yeah.

But yeah. I'm just trying to contribute. And you're not, you're not taking it in. So you know what?

Is it rude for me to keep cutting Chris off? Yes, it is. No, it's not. It hurts my feelings.

It hurts my feelings. It's rude. Well, I'm trying to do it. You're just wrong.

No, but what if I'm doing it to get you to, you know, think things better or like say it better, you know what I mean? For example, when you're say how, you know, 50% of it, it's on you, they said it's on the other person, but you have more control. 60% of the time. 60% of the time that usually works every single time.

Okay. Well, what if like, what if I'm searching asshole? How about that? Oh, God, you hate me, don't you?

So I don't hate you. I don't hate you. Just to clarify. I mean, you can be an Amadec.

Yeah. But okay. And the words of Chris on the good day, though. That's out of context.

So what had happened was when I first introduced Rebecca to Chris or Chris here kept telling Rebecca or how did it even come out? I was just saying like, yeah, Chris here knows that I'm an asshole. Yeah. And Chris was trying to be nice about it.

I was like, yeah, you know, you're a dick, but you're like, you're the good kind of dick. Yeah. It was just you'll try to say that like I'm not you're on the right reasons. Yeah.

Yeah. Not that. Yeah. Anyways, you know what's funny?

No, my bro. You're thinking about that story? You told on the fucking embarrassing. No, we're not talking about that.

Anyways, if you want to know about that story, go listen to that episode. And I can still tell it on that because remember you recorded it first and then it I don't think you did. No, I think I did. I don't know.

You guys figured out. Go back to that episode. Listen to it. Yeah, we will.

Shut the fuck up. Going back to the whole driving thing though. So this is how I like see it. So for example, whenever you guys or when you were working here right next to where you live, right?

Like literally down the street, like you could bike to your work. Oh, yeah. And that's more than you. You like say like, oh, hey, let's go out or I said, oh, hey, let's go out.

But then I always said, can we use your car? Yeah. Yeah, because you have the least I have the most gas in my car. Right.

That's okay. Yeah, more than okay. That's just the way more than okay because I didn't want to use my car. No, because honestly, like I think in this age, it's okay to taking people's like or consider people's like, I guess financial or like economic situations.

So like if you know your home, it literally has a full taken gas for the whole month. Yeah. And like he lives like, or he worked, he lives or doesn't work super far away. I think that's more than okay.

Yeah. Because you at the time you work where you we work now, which is like an hour later when I live. Yeah. So it makes like plus traffic.

Yeah. So if I were to be like, oh, no, like that's just kind of an asshole thing because it's like, I know you work that far and I know you spend more money on gas than I did at the time. Yeah. So it's like, yeah, of course.

I feel like if you ignore those like people's like financial or like economic situations, I feel like that's just you being an asshole. Like if you or is it more or is it rude because like let's say, for example, you know that this person doesn't make as much money as you. So you're like, oh, pay for your stuff. Don't worry about it.

That it can be that, but this is going to be an extreme example again. But like if we're going out to like, if you find me out, it's like fucking like New York City, it's like, and you if you knew I was still working my last job, like, and you and you said all that right before, like before even letting me like consider like, oh, yeah, let me save up for it or like letting me explain myself. Yeah. Cause that's a little condescending.

You offered up like, oh, hey, like I want to go to New York City and like a year, like a year, like I'm going to be in New York City in like July, like, do you want to go? Like, yeah, okay. Let me see if I can like budget it or like give the person the copy. Exactly.

Right. Because so that brings me to my next question. Well, sort of my next question since she said like knowing the person's economical situation, like it's okay, because I know a certain someone who goes to certain places, right, but does it invite, let's say their siblings or whatever? Yeah.

And to me, I feel that's kind of like that just because growing up whenever, let's say our uncle took his daughter out to someplace, he would always invite us and pay for it, right? Yeah. And I'm like, that's how we grew up. So I'm like, oh, I should, you know, I think it's fair that if you invite someone out, pay for their stuff, you know what I mean?

Or like pay for a few other things or something. Yeah. And like when I told that person this, they're like, well, I know that they can't afford it. So like, why even like why bother?

Why bother inviting them, right? And I would tell them like, well, if you know they can't fucking afford it, give them time to save up to afford it. Yeah. You know what I mean?

Like I feel like that's kind of fucked up. They keep going to these places and not inviting your family, you know, like your other family to go out and have fun with you guys, you know? I mean, because yeah, no, I don't get what you're saying because like our one cousin's dad was like that every time. Like we've gone to like Disneyland as kids almost like every summer, every summer and we'd always all go together.

And for the most part, he paid for it all. Yeah. Or maybe our parents paid him and we just didn't know it. It's possible.

But I mean, I'm pretty sure like whatever that debt is, it was repaid in like some way or another. Yeah. But like I also think it's realistic to understand like if you're going to like, again, New York City and you know who you're inviting can't afford it. Yeah.

And you really just like want to go. Like I think that's fair though to an extent like I think it's more of a dick move to be like, Oh, hey, you want to go to New York City? Oh, you can't afford it. I'll pay for you.

You have to take move though or is that just being nice? I mean, it depends on the tone. And like again, context, but I feel like it's also because honestly, I would do that. What like if I like let's say I decided last minute like, Oh shit, I want to go.

Oh, this is the last minute and I wanted you guys to go. Yeah, right. I'll pay for your ticket now, just paying back over time or something or whatever. Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, like if you if you explain it in that way, yeah, but I think you also got to allow the other person to be like, Nah, like I really can't afford it. It's like next time or like if they're up for it, then yeah. But like, um, I also think it's kind of a I hate when people do that as a flex.

Like, Oh, I'm going to like go to New York City in June. We're going to be doing this and this and they like list off everything they're doing. Yeah. And then I think like, Oh, so you want to go?

It's like, you're talking afford like all that shit. Yeah. And you're like, Nah, you know, like can't really can't really make it. And the person's like, Oh, well, all right.

So what, wow, you can list all of that. You're like, list this nice ass like vacation. You're going to take just like kind of like throwing my face. But I guess it also depends on like me as a person or like or on the individual, like what kind of mood they're in and how like how you're saying that stuff to you.

Yeah. So let's bring it back down. Small scale it though. If someone invites you out to eat, who's paying for the tab?

I think. Okay. So let's just let's just give me the context of the two people that just friends. Just friends.

Yeah. But I mean, if you invite them out again, I think it's very say like, Oh, since I got the tab last time, can you get it or if or if you don't want it, I don't think you should even have to say that. Yeah. You know, I mean, this is why it's like an unspoken rule.

I feel like it should just be implied. Yeah. Why you keep like saying same, you're right. Sorry.

That's just being dic against. I mean, it's not okay, but. So why do you. Yes, you agree?

Yeah. Whoever invited you out to eat should pay. Yeah. Okay.

And then if like vice versa, can you trade off? Do you think like, let me give you another example then. Like let's say the person that invited you out to eat, right? Invited other people out to eat, but they're like, Oh, but don't worry.

I'm only going to pay for your tab. Is that fucked up? I don't think that's like fucked up. Okay.

Now let me rephrase. I do think that's I do think that's fucked up because I don't want that kind of treatment. Right. Like if I'm going out with a group of friends and it's like, or if they invite me out, well, okay, hold on, let me let me start that over again.

Do I know other people are going or is it just like my friend invited me out is it? And then other people show up. You know that other people are going, okay, if I know other people are going, I don't want that treatment. But if you might, yeah, and I like, I go.

Yeah. And there's like four other people or three other people. Like, like how we all doing this? Yeah.

But knowing that the like, and if knowing that they offered beforehand, like, I'll pay for you, I probably asked said friend, like, Hey, are you okay? What's still like paying for me? Because like, you know, we're all dividing like the tab or whatever. Yeah.

You know, how's that going to play out or whatever. So I think it's like, I think that's okay. Okay. Like, let's say it's your birthday, right?

And you want to have a birthday dinner at your favorite restaurant. Okay. So you invite a bunch of your friends. Yeah.

But then you still pick up the tab. That's what though. But like, what if I feel like that's super fucked up to be honest. Yeah.

But it's not that you were forced to. You're just like, I'm gonna grab a tab. I mean, is it up to the friends be like, What the fuck? No, no, it's your birthday.

Let me like, let's all pitch in. I think so. Yeah, I think that's an unspoken thing. Like, I don't think a birthday person or the birthday celebrate should have to pay for something on their birthday.

I mean, granted, if you're like, okay, if you're taking some, like, if you're going to Disney land with somebody for your birthday, yeah, like, yeah, pay for your own ticket, maybe or pay for your own, like, or pay for your own, like, snacks or whatever, right? You know, but if it's like a dinner, no, because that that's happened before. I was invited out to a birthday dinner and I assumed that I was going to pay for my own thing, right? Yeah.

Because, you know, we're going out to our restaurant like, okay, it's their birthday, like, okay, for my food or whatever. Yeah. I didn't know exactly how we're going to do it, but I assume like, I will pay part of it, right? And then all of a sudden we're all eating, we're having good time.

Like, you know, Pat, or Pat, the tab has already been paid for. I'm like, who's like, pay for it? Oh, she did. I'm like, it's your fucking birthday.

What the fuck? Yeah. Like, why'd she pay for it? I don't know.

I know. It could be a cultural thing because I know when I lived in the Philippines. Oh, less Filipino. Yeah.

So when I was living in the Philippines, whenever, whenever it was my friend's birthday, like, we, there was like, we all went out and like, I was, I was already like, getting ready to like, pay, like, at least my portion or, we all want to do it. I know, again, I know what, what to do. Like, I didn't know how I was going to play out the same thing. Like, the birthday celebrate, like, pay for everything.

I was like, that's different. Like, usually it's the other way around. Like, yeah. So, I mean, the thing about it, she, she was the one that invited us and we said if they invite you out to eat, they should pay.

Yeah. But I feel like that's, I know it's, it's, but it's that person's birthday. I know exactly. So that's why I asked, like, it's like the situation.

Because I feel like, on your birthday, you shouldn't have to worry about like finances. Like, that's like your one day that you get a break. You know, you're only born once. Right.

You know, not true to born again Christians. I mean, I was gonna say something about that. Probably not. Excuse me.

Okay. So. And then, you know, since we're on like unspoken rules, I hate it when guys talk in the men's restroom. I fucking hate that shit.

Like, yeah, it's not a social parlor. You're not there to like fucking get to know somebody. You're there to do your business and then get out. Right.

Don't talk. So, whatever. It's like two friends that just walked out the same time. Shut the fuck up.

Okay. Yeah, I guess. No, it's just like, it's just. Well, okay.

What if, what if it's you and your friend and you guys are the only ones in the bathroom? No. Really? You know, I'm not talking to men's restroom ever.

I don't know. I don't really care. No, I care. Why?

Because it's just you just don't do that. I don't know. Well, because the only reason why I say that is because when we went out one time, when my co-workers and everything, our co-workers, sorry, you weren't there. It was, you know, it was on Friday.

Anyways, not that we did it by two. But, you know, like I had to go to the restroom and then one of them also had to go to the restroom. So not that we went at the same time, but they had already gone before me. And then I go and they're watching their hands and I walk in and it's literally just us two.

And then we start talking. And then we start talking. And then we start talking. It was nobody else but us.

So I was just like, that's fine, whatever. I mean, I still feel like you shouldn't. But because I know your relationship with these guys, like I can understand why, like it's just whatever. Yeah.

Hold on. Sorry, real quick. Excuse me. I'm getting over a sickness, guys.

That's also why we haven't posted a lot. Yeah. And we're back. Okay, I'm back.

Sorry. That was a quick little mute. I'm not even going to edit it out. No, no editing.

None. No. No. Like you and your other coworker or other coworker in a third walks in but it's a stranger.

Yeah. Shut the fuck up. Yeah. Because it's like, you're there to do your business, you know?

And like, I guess because like I'm so used to like my, like whenever I do my business, it's always like quiet, maybe it's just like my little sanctuary, I guess, because yeah, you know, you're doing your business at home. So yeah, it makes sense. Yeah. I guess it's kind of a conditioning thing because you're so used to that when you go to the, like, I mean, girls talk all the time in the bathroom.

Yeah. I mean, I guess that's girls though. I don't know. Do you think there's like different unspoken rules for like women?

They're probably are. Probably. Yeah. For sure.

Like, never date your best friend's ex. I mean, that kind of goes for us to never date your best friend's ex. Never. You even if it's been like, how long?

Uh, that's still awkward though, especially if you guys are still best friends. Like, I don't know. It probably depends. Yeah.

Yeah. All right. I know. That's fair.

Well, dating your ex is like, simply. Oh, man. That's, that's fair. Like, we know someone.

Yeah. I mean, man. I mean, if you're like, if you guys only dated for a couple months, then sure, maybe. If you did for a year.

Oh, I see. I don't know. That's a little dicey. I feel like, you know, I feel like if you have that conversation though, frankly with your ex, like, hey, sorry, but I'm like, you're simply in a, or I like, you're simply in I were talking in a more than friendly manner.

Like, you're, because they're going to find out. Right. So you might as well either like, you might as well just bring up the elevator room. You might as well.

So you're on that whole situation or not situation, but since we're on relationships, is it fair to say that like, if you're telling someone something important, like, hey, don't tell anyone, but you know that person has a specific another, isn't it fair to say that they're going to tell their specific another? Yeah. Right. Oh, yeah.

It's automatically assumed. So when you say, hey, don't tell anyone, you're also saying, make sure your boyfriend doesn't tell one too. Yeah, for sure. Because I know some people who have said that and they find out that they told their specific another and they get pissed off.

No. It's just like, dude, you should have known. Yeah. Right.

You, if it's something that you really don't want anyone else to know other than who you're telling, you know, you can implicitly say that. Right. And you know that they have a specific another, do not tell any of your significant, either. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Anyone, like implicitly make it clear you are the only person on this Gogginner that knows this thing. Yeah.

Do not tell anyone else. Not even your, like, so, yeah. So I mean, so just know anybody that's told me secrets, I'm pretty sure Rebecca knows too. I'm just kidding.

I mean, he was like, yeah, it's, it's not even like a, like a rule, but like, that's just, I feel like it's more a common sense thing. If you know someone and they're with somebody, like if they're in a relationship, and you're telling me, hey, you know, like this happened to me, please don't tell anyone. If you don't make it implicit, I feel like that's just an understanding like they're okay, they're gonna tell their guy so, but they're like, it's gonna be between the two of them. Right.

So, but, yeah. What? Oh, that you had another one. No, I find that I'll keep throwing them out there.

What if you are in a group of friends, right? And you know that two of them are cheating on a significant other with each other. What do you do? Okay.

So you have a group of friends? Yes. Two friends have significant others, but they're cheating on their significant others with each other? Yes.

Really? Yeah. I'm just fucking wrong. I don't know, man.

That's tough. That's real tough because like if the two friends like each other, I think it's okay to kind of like play both sides to get them to like be together, you know? Damn, but what if like you, they've never seen others for so long that they've kind of also been part of your friend group? You know what I mean?

Oh, man. That's like what you do. That's real dicey because at least for myself, if I had that and like my girlfriend was like cheating on me or whatever, I'd expect someone to say something. Yeah, that was going to be the next question for you then too.

Is it, would you want to know? Yeah, I'd, because of what's happened to me, I'd want to know for sure. But I know sometimes people when they get into that situation, they feel like it's not their right to say or the person that they're telling, they're going to tell them like, the fuck, man, why are you telling me this? It's not like it's none of your business.

You know what I mean? So that's why like what, what is it? Like what do you think that's fair or? That's fair.

It's not, I don't think it's a matter of fair or not fair. I think it's a matter of how like there's just so many things like going to it, but basically like if you're close with your guy from right and you know his girl is cheating on him, like you definitively know without a shadow of a doubt that you can bring to trial, improve to your core of jurors beyond a shadow of a doubt that this girl is cheating on your homie, I think you have the responsibility to say something. Even if he like hates you for it, you know, even if he gets upset, it's like, hey man, you know, like here's, like here it is, here's, here's the thing. But if I feel like they tell you like, nah fuck that dude, they don't believe you at all and they're like fuck you bro, if we're even bringing that shit up, like we're done.

Then you're done. You bring it up fight for that friendship. You bring it up, see that's where it gets dicey though because as much as you want to protect him and as much as you want to fight for that friendship, it's like he needs to see it for himself at that point because if you are like his best friend and you bring it up and he still doesn't believe you, it's like, all right, like you have to understand that you're telling your best friend like that the girl that he's into is cheating on him and is being an asshole, like no one wants to hear that news. And like, I think it's, people have like, you know, I think it's a normal human reaction to preserve this person and you're like, even if the relationship's still going sour.

Yeah. You know what I mean? But it's also like, if it depends on how you present it for sure. It also gets really dicey, like if you like one of them, because then at that point it's like, I mean like one of them, if you like the ex-girlfriend or the ex-boy, or if you like the person's like significant other, if you like them, like I feel like that's like some ulterior or motive type type of thing, but I don't think that's really relevant to what we're talking about.

Yeah. Well, yeah. So bringing them back though, like your group of friends, they're cheating with each other or they're cheating with their civic others with each other. Well, you do.

I don't know man. I've never, I can't really, I haven't been in that situation. Yeah. Um, you like the new blanket.

Sorry, Chris keeps touching our little cover on my table right now. So great. We got an upgrade. We got, hey baby.

Obviously there's a scene from getting me to the Greek where it's like, I know I just watched that movie this morning. Yeah. It's Netflix. Yeah.

Yeah. Okay. Oh, that's tough because like, yeah, as an individual, I wouldn't want, I would want to know. But again, if they're cheating on their significant others with each other, I mean, that's just too dicey.

I really don't know. I really can't call it. I would do. I really can't call it.