Episode 45 - I'll Tear Them Down

Hello everyone! I hope that your day is off to a great start and thank you for tuning in and allowing me to share this time with you today! In this episode, I wanted to focus on a behaviour that I used to partake in and for the longest time, was completely unaware of it and the damage it was doing to myself and my relationships. It is a self sabotaging behaviour that stemmed from self defence. Basically in order to protect myself, I would lash out at those around me before they had an opportunity to hurt me and in relationships, because I did not feel deserving of love, I would utilize the behaviour to self sabotage my relationship. One day during an interaction with a friend, I exercised this behaviour and for some reason in that moment, it hit me like a ton of bricks, just how wrong I was. Looking back I believe it was because in that moment my friend was in pain and despite that, my desire to protect myself was greater than my ability to help her. I feel that those circumstances are what helped me become aware of this behaviour. Once I came to so to speak, I was determined to change it. I finally understood I was ruthlessly hurting those I cared about the most as well as myself and all due to a broken defence mechanism that was no longer serving me. Once we become aware of these excessive and negative behaviours, we can continue to claim ignorance, however I feel and know from my own experience that it is not worth it. We deserve better! We deserve to be free from the things that are holding us back and that are keeping us from reaching our true potential!!