We'll be right back. I want to do it smart. You decide who? We'll find that out.
But no, this episode comes to us from Taya Transcends on Twitter, who is one of our early Patreons, and somebody was the first one to jump at the opportunity to help us kind of come up with an episode. So we were kind of working with the Patreons who were at that tier, working on either an episode to do with one of our Goblin Games topics or a Goblin Ranking topic, kind of some of the newer, smaller, shorter episodes that we were planning on doing. And Taya just suggested a great idea, which is Goblin Flavor Texts. That is a good one.
There's plenty. Yes. Even doing a quick scryfall search of just cards with the word Goblin in the Flavor Texts is like 260. So what I'd like us to do is we're going to break this down into a couple of categories to kind of reign us in because we need that.
We're going to talk about Flavor Texts that are on Goblin cards, Flavor Texts that are on Goblin-related cards, and then just finally Flavor Texts on non-Goblin cards that either reference Goblins or quotes Goblins, which is actually a huge amount. So to start that off, Alex, you actually had a really interesting example that I think would be great because it hits everything. Yeah. I wanted to start off talking about Ib Halfheart.
So Ib is a Goblin card, literally Goblin printed in Time Spiral, and he's got some cool Flavor Texts, too. So he's Ib Halfheart, Goblin Tactician. And his Flavor Text, which seems like a very strong tactical stance to take, is, Everybody let me charge. That fits a good Goblin theme.
But one of the things I want to talk about with him that I think is kind of interesting from a Vortho's perspective to take half a step back to talk about the game as a game, is he was a story character from Ice Age. So, you know, like, what, 95 or something? Got printed in Time Spiral in, like, 2006, I think. So almost a decade later, he finally got his first card because just the way that the sets are made, the cards have to be designed first before the story is done, just from timelines, because the cards have to be made and probably remade and then tinkered with and fixed and moved through several teams to make sure the set works.
And so they have to have cards put together much earlier than the stories put together, and so especially early days. I think Wizard has taken steps lately to bridge this gap a little bit, but in the early days, like, none of the significant story characters, or very few of them, would show up in cards because the story wasn't written until much later and there just weren't cards for these people created because they hadn't been created for the story yet. So Ib has a lot of Flavor Text. He's quoted in a lot of Flavor Texts, and Time Spiral was a set where, kind of like we're seeing with Modern Horizons today, we see, like, with some Commander sets, where Wizards was able to go back in time and say, okay, let's take this character and give them a card.
But, you know, let's go back and we're talking about Flavor Texts, and so I'm going to go back to Ice Age and talk about some of Ib's, you know, tactical genius here. So we're going to start with Goblin Ski Patrol, who, that is an actual card. I'm not kidding. There is a goblin skiing in an Ice Age card.
And the Flavor Text is a quote from Ib Halfheart, Goblin Tactician, and it just says, Aye! Once again, it's quoted here saying, don't look at it, maybe it'll go away. And, again, we're seeing, you know, the tactical genius of Ib during this area of, you know, the Ice Age. I want to talk about Wall of Shields, too, that shows his cunning, and so here's another quote.
It's the pokey bits that hurt the most. That is relating important information to the other goblins. He's not wrong. Very, very true.
Yeah. Where's the lie? Exactly. And, you know, finally, from the card from my stage where he was quoted on, I'm talking about spoils of war.
And the quote here is, this is the fun part. And, you know, I think that's a very important thing to make sure that, you know, people are keeping the morale of the troops up when they get to take some spoils and it looks like a really weird helmet with an arrow through it. But, you know, the goblin in the picture is really excited about this helmet. You know, I actually thought, once you started with the goblin ski patrol, I always assumed that you were going to end with Goblin Snowman.
Oh, well. Which also has to get that one. Yeah, this one, the art really is what sells it. It has a little bit of a visual gag in it.
It's, like, goblins all around a snowman. And the snowman does not look happy for some reason. But the player text simply is strength in numbers. Right?
Like, okay. So, but I just love that there is a snowman and a ski patrol that are goblins. We really do it all. Oh, yeah.
And a representation for goblins. I also like that, you know, that's kind of a little Vestigo piece of early magic, too, where things were not, I don't want to say, not always as serious, but maybe that's... It allowed itself to have fun. It allowed itself to be goofy and go into that weird space, too.
There you go. Yeah, there you go. They were just like, you know what, if we're going to have a nice age, someone's going to be skiing. Yeah, someone's going to make a snowman.
Yeah. Yeah, exactly. And it's, I mean, let's be honest, it's going to be the goblinist. And you know what, I'm sorry, I know we want to talk about flavor text and we don't want this to go too long, so I don't think we're going to talk about the cards mechanically as much, but I really do want to talk about goblins with key control real quick here.
So, basically, it has an activation for one and a red. It gets plus two, plus oh, and gains flying. Then its controller sacrifices at the end of the turn. But you can only play it once, and only if you control a snowmountain.
And that is just so perfect for early magic where they're like, we're going to capture the exact flavor of a goblin skiing down a mountain and then flying through the air and then colliding and probably dying at the end of that. So, just because I think it is this funny bit that you said, like, Wizards has given flying two goblins a couple of times, this being one of them, and the act of it is just amazing whenever they do, because it just shows this idea that really goblins shouldn't be flying. So, goblins sky raider, one-two goblin, the flavor text is the goblin word for flying, is more accurately translated as falling slowly. That was one of my favorites as a kid.
I had the red starter deck from 7th edition that that was in, and that was one of my absolute favorite cards. Well, and while we're on the subject of flying goblins and military goblins, I wanted to mention Battle Squadron from Mercadian Masks, which is technically a goblin, it's a ship, is the creature type, but it has flying. It depicts a bunch of goblins on this Phyrexian-ish looking skyship, and the flavor text is the goblins made an unruly pile with military precision. So, this is going to be our first section, which is goblin cards with flavor text.
So, these are the goblins that we're looking at that actually have flavor text on them. I will start out with one of my favorites, which is goblin artillery, which is a creature, and the flavor text is most goblins get their turn firing the catapult, but few achieve the coveted title of ammunition holder, which means you literally get to be catapulted along with whatever is being thrown. They're talking about, you know, goblins flying and it probably being a bad idea for them. So, I have one that I think is kind of fun, but it's maybe not quite as left comical.
Goblin King. So, it's got a couple of flavor texts, but the more recent one, the one from 10th edition, says, to be king, numbsgill didn't log, who didn't unkfall, who didn't viddle, who didn't lull, who didn't all rock, dot, dot, dot. So, I think that's just a fun, like, and it actually really fits the flavor text of the original printing, going back to Elva, that was, to become king of the goblins, one must assassinate the previous king. Thus, all of the most foolish seek positions of leadership.
And it's, I think that's kind of just a fun little depiction of, you know, how goblins assemble themselves. Yeah, goblin culture, Dominaria especially. Ooh, boy. I'm going to, you know, be me, I tend to lean towards the goofier, especially when it comes.
I mean, I think some of the, I mean, we're going to, I'll probably talk about a couple of these, but the legendaries are some that have some very poignant and good flavor texts. But I, real quick, need to get in a couple of mine, Goblin Gardener, 7th edition, years of attempts have brought the goblins no closer to growing a sausage tree. And Goblin Glider, which is from the starter deck, which is, again, another flying goblin that also can't walk. And the flavor text is, the goblins call the gliders death from above.
Everyone else calls them clods in the clouds. I think Goblin Gardener also has one of my favorite goblin pieces of art. Yeah. Yes.
It's, yeah. It's just grabbing a tree out of the ground. Yeah, so, well, and it's the mechanic, the goblin destroys the land, and this goblin gardener is just so desperately trying to hold on to the tree that it is actually destroying it. Yeah.
Okay, yeah. It fits, it holds on. Yeah. So, Joe, do you have one for us?
I do. While we're on the more humorous bent, I'm going to bring up Emberholler from M11, and that also has a little reference to language in Magic, which is one of my personal interests, is, you know, different languages, dialects, translations, that sort of thing. And Emberholler says, Flerk's crude goblin language didn't differentiate between, quote, I bring the flame, and, quote, I am the flame. And specifically, the mechanic, you can sacrifice the card to deal damage.
So, it's, yeah, it very much fits that. I also really, truly love Aki Underminer from the Kamigawa block, Champions of Kamigawa. Deep inside the Sakenzin Mountains, a band of Aki discovered a cache of ancient items of power. Their ensuing spree of destruction became known as the Three Days of Fun, observations of the Kamigawa.
So, to pivot off of language, I'd like to throw this one out here. From Mirrodin, as well, or no, you're from Mirrodin, Goblin Striker. There's no word in the goblin language for strategy. Then again, there's no word in the goblin language for word.
Oh, that's absolutely great. Well, while we're on Mirrodin, too, I do have to bring up another one of my absolute favorite goblin cards from when I was a kid, and that's Goblin Brawler. This is in Darksteel, but its player text says, What is great about this is it's just like, I think this is showing us what Wizards has kind of set up for us as goblins, right? You know, goblins don't know much about physics, but they know lots about falling and rocks.
That is from Rock Chalky. That's awesome. We really get this. When dealing with goblins, if it isn't nailed down, it's headed your way.
That's a new one, actually, from Munitions Expert. It's funny, you know, as you're saying this, Wizards has really done a good job of giving us different cultures across planes. They haven't made, you know, species or races feel identical from plane to plane, because they shouldn't. These are cultures and groups that have evolved separate from each other by space, you know, divided by space and time.
But there are some really strong unifying factors throughout magic history for what goblins are and love, and rocks are one of them. Rocks are definitely one of them. Oh, yeah, and Goblin Lookout, going back to Legion, so we're back on Nominaria, also references that. And kind of fits the theme from what Hobbs was saying from his last cards.
So this asset says, throw rocks at him, throw spears at him, throw furts at him. Capitalizing furt, it must be the name of a goblin, because Goblin Lookout, you can sacrifice it to pump all your goblins. So before we kind of move on to the next category, I would like to really hit on maybe some of the legendary goblins, because I think some of these is where we got flavor for storylines, and also our goblins that kind of rise above. Most of what we've been talking about is the common goblin, in some ways.
What we think of, where we don't really get goblins that are integral or even a part of the story. We're going to circle back to one of our favorite goblins, Squee, later. But I just want to kind of lead off the legendary talk with his flavor text, which is, from Stark, some goblins are expendable, some are impossible to get rid of, but he's both at the same time. Here's a good one that fits what you're talking about, too, Hobbs, with the goblins kind of setting the tone for things.
Tuck Tuck. So, yeah, so Tuck Tuck the Explorer, his flavor text says, remade by Eldrazi magic, Tuck Tuck inspired an entire clan of misguided goblins. Nice. Those are our people.
Well, and also, somewhere, on some card or in some story, another goblin references the fact that they essentially ate Tuck Tuck, because they thought, well, okay, the Hedrons are magical, and they turned him into this magic rock god, so if we eat him, then we'll be magical, too. Oh, it's so good. So before we move on to the next category, I just want to real briefly have to get a little controversial, because why else are we here, if not? And talk about, you know, we've seen a couple of these that we're going to come back to Squee, but we've had some characters that have been through a couple of iterations of cards, and one of them actually happens to have flavor text for both iterations.
And the first one is very powerful. It's for Krenko Mapas, which says, He displays a perverse charisma, fueled by avarice, highly dangerous, recommends civil sanctions. Sorry to get political. So, Augman Sarv Azorius Hussar, which, yeah, you know, it's just funny, recommends civil sanctions, it really plays up kind of how we have talked about Krenko in the past.
Now, let's contrast that with the Krenko Tin Street Kingpin, which is, after the people flee, but before the enemy arrives, that's grabbing time. And when I saw these, knowing that we were prepping for this episode, I realized that that flavor text alone kind of sums up my problems with the new second version of Krenko that we got. Well, it's just that it's so flat, you know, and that's the bummer, is this, it could be interesting, Krenko Tin Street Kingpin could be very interesting if we saw him progress from a mob boss, an assassin-type goblin, to, you know, like, think of the Marvel character Kingpin, like, a literal, like, crying lord, as opposed to a mob boss. But here it just looks like he's still sort of a down-and-out flunky.
I mean, speaking of Kingpin, if we want to kind of talk about it from that perspective, the thing that is known about Kingpin is he doesn't get his hands dirty. Exactly. And yet, yeah. Oh, no, and one thing about this, too, is, like, you have the original version, you know, he displays this charisma of avarice, he's dangerous, and you got this idea that he does things, and then this one, the flavor text makes him just sound like he's a brute who swings through the neighborhood and takes all the stuff people up behind, and it's not evolving the character, and it kind of is devolving the character.
And, you know, and we've got a lot of funny labor. text we got a lot of flavor text to go and goblins kind of you know throw rocks and break things but when you have these characters that have specific things it's nice to have that representation of a goblin who is something more than just you know kind of stereotype but this kind of feels like a break they were breaking down that character a little bit and kind of not giving them anything to do yeah oh to be happy before we move on uh squee goblin the bob actually does have a second flavor text more recently um which is if yagmob meant squee's immortality as a curse no one ever pulled squee on it's by karn well i just think it's kind of pretty perfect for for squee and then you go to the original mercadian masks flavor text and uh and you get a quote from his weatherlight crewmate tongarth where tongarth says gerald gerald nuisance maybe at least we're gonna circle back to squee squee has his own category so let's talk a little bit about flavor text that are on goblin related cards that aren't actually goblin so why don't we start with the flavor text that is our little sort of button hook at the end of every single episode which is the flavor text on goblin slide and those of you who are regular listeners you can say it all with me goblins like snowflakes are only dangerous in numbers and i know that it wasn't me i think alex it was you that suggested this as a like a button hook for an episode but i think it was you suggested it as an individual episode well i think i just found it because i i had it in my my sada deck um at the tv last year i think i was just we were playing a game i was reading flavor text on my cards and when i was you know i just happened to notice that flavor text and i pointed it out to you because i thought it was kind of funny and cool but i'm pretty sure you're the one who picked it up and move forward with it well yeah no i definitely as soon as you suggested this or pointed it out or whatever however it happened i saw that and i went oh my gosh this is exactly the kind of message that we are trying to put out with our show every single episode every single week and i think it's the uh for me at least why it evoked such a strong reaction is that um you know it's it's that we are trying to inspire numbers hordes of goblin friends to join together um you know i think that's something we see not to get serious or political in this moment except i do want to do both um but that's something we see in real life in reality is it's really hard to do it on your own it's really hard to do life by yourself and there are people out there who do it and they are incredibly strong and strong-willed and that is awesome i'm not those people i need people around me and i need people to help me be stronger and pick me up when i can't do things exactly the right way and i know that there are people out there like me and so this to me is like when we can build that critical mass avalanche goblin slide of all of us you know furry-faced pointy-eared you know boogers sliding down a mountain at whatever goal we have in mind were unstoppable another one i love that is kind of how you know we talked about when we saw this up front in our when it came out really felt like us and in some ways it's kind of our calling card card which is goblin gathering uh it's the idea that the more gathering you have the larger they get and the idea is that two's a party three's a felony yeah uh if that just doesn't perfectly describe us three also i don't know what does and it's even called goblin gathering and and i know i haven't said i believe maybe it's been both of you or one of the two of you who's been talking about how our podcast emphasizes the gathering part of magic the gathering yeah just right there we actually took our name from a card that you know joe came up with the name of goblin lore and the flavor text on that card is actually beautiful and amazing which is now listen closely my young gob there are many ways to eat pimple bugs but i say the best way is all smashed together between two slug chips i just love this idea of just like grandmother goblin passing down recipes like my grandmother did to me they're just goblin recipes yep wow i uh i actually didn't know that flavor text because the portal second age one is a very different one that is the one from 10th edition yeah that is fantastic yeah so i got one another one i want to talk about in this category um goblin rally so this one doesn't really relate to our podcast but i just think it's funny uh so it's another one that makes makes up tokens but then the flavor text is you don't so much hire goblins as put ideas in their heads i think that relates to our podcast very much um one of my favorite cards because of playing storm empty the warrens yeah it's never just one goblin i also love there are a lot of tongue-in-cheek goblin cards you know goblins definitely get short shrift in a lot of people's like estimations um of them but i love goblin war paint from the battle for zendikar uh it's a quote uh somebody saying the eldrazi may not be intimidated but if it boosts the goblin's confidence i see no reason to discourage it you guys we already missed an amazing flavor text when we were on goblins themselves what's that we missed raging goblin oh it's a classic he raged at the world at his family at his life but mostly he just raged i mean i just love the idea it's like yeah he just rages at everything that's another one that when i saw it as a kid i was like okay goblins are absolutely one of my favorite tribes this nark this nark is strong with these ones what about the what about the classic goblin offensive somebody's got to take that on they are i thought we're gonna go there oh that's what it is you know it's one of those ones that just works so well because you need the name with it like in a vacuum they are it's just like nothing but the fact that the card name is supposed to be about like a group of goblins on the offensive that's the name of the card it's really the flavor references them being offensive you know that's like that's our cast that's literally a pun on a card title in the flavor text let's talk about our um our last category before we circle back this week flavor text on non-goblin cards that reference or quote goblins well there's one that we talked about before already on the show for sure that is absolute gold alex i mean this is a card that you've mentioned is one of your favorites oh yes uh floodgates um i i try not to talk about this all the time though i know i did bring it up on our first episode so floodgate is a weird card but it top to bottom all the elements of it like fit perfectly together in this wonderful flavor puzzle just all interlocking together as a floodgate is a wall in blue uh if it gains flying you destroy it if it leaves play it deals to each non-blue creature without flying one damage every two islands you control because obviously all the water is rushing through now and the flavor text quick rurik teach me to swim and the quote is from makut goblin casualty oh and it's it's just so complete and like what isn't necessarily spelled out here what i suspect is probably the case is that it's probably their fault the whole thing's breaking so so i have a bargain which is from a starter set that says bargaining with a goblin is like trading with a child both believe they already own everything well while we're talking about recent more recent cards and this is one of my absolute favorite characters in recent times uh speaking of legendary creatures although he hasn't been printed as a legend yet uh preaches the gunner of the belligerent from the plane of ixalan uh has the flavor text on gamble which is quote seven sundries and munitions bloodshot cyclops from eighth edition gives us another good pun after their first encounter the goblins named him chuck and the art of course is a cyclops playing catch with goblins yeah just like throwing them yeah the mechanic is you stack a creature and it deals damage you know it throws a creature at somebody and does damage to the thing you threw that so yeah it's just it's beautiful so uh blade tusk boar um is what i want to talk about so i kind of enjoy this flavor text the older one there's a newer flavor text that is sadly bereft of goblin references but the older one says those who dare stand in its path are either brave or mindless or in the case of goblins both uh detonate the version from meriden gives us the goblins have 42 different words for out i also love uh sneak attack from urza saga uh classic nothing beats surprise except rock nothing beats rock so it makes sense to me all right so i i think uh i need to transition off of that so so i so i'm looking at the flavor text of shock and i had one that i definitely want to talk about and i will get to that in a second but i just realized that there's so many other flavor texts and there's one that i missed so one of the flavor texts for shock the one i literally just discovered was a quote i love lightning it's my best invention since the rock take a goblin lebensmith and that was printed in just onslaught in eighth edition because there was a different flavor text previous to that in ninth edition for just one set they ran the flavor text another quote here once i saw a goblin shouting at a thunderstorm he lost the argument pretty quickly wandering mage i don't know who that is but yeah that's the one that i originally saw and wanted to talk about but looking at all the sets that i found this eighth edition it's like oh well there's a couple good ones in there that is the goblin version of old man shots at cloud yeah also very apropos for us um granite shard from urdin it's a piece of world the goblins have never seen but would dearly like to blow up never seen it uh if goblins could blow up an idea they would uh well i i also have here bright stone ritual from onslaught uh wizards fought over the stone to exploit its power goblins fight over it because it's shiny um uh oh i can't have a light mine if anybody wants to bring up light mine yep light mine field from rise of the aldrazi oh this isn't this is offensive if you want to kill a lot of goblins just make sure your defenses look like fun so so this might be a way to follow that uh impending disaster from urza's legacy which is the hammer by the way because those sets are always confusing i'm not sure which urza set it is uh but this is an enchantment that during your upkeep there's several lands in play you sack this and destroy all lands the flavor text is a quote saying the goblins are in charge of magnets why not just sit on fire now and call it quote by whiptung vishino technician and i love the art because you look at the art there's there's this tower that is just on on fire just completely on fire and in the foreground you see a vishana like panicking looking up and a goblin eating a sandwich i see no problems so going along together now this would be lore cards that reference goblins but i just love the follow-up of unsets to really drive things home we have kark's thumb and the flavor text says i can think of one goblin it ain't so lucky for slow back the follow-up is kark's other thumb and it says kark was the kind of goblin who'd lose his thumb in a wager and come right back with double or nothing i also uh i want to bring up one maybe maybe a bit of a pace changer here so i can let my laugh headache subside a little bit for a minute magistrate's veto for mercadian masks is an enchantment uh and it depicts one of the the kyrem the goblins who were kind of discovered to be controlling the entirety of mercadian from behind the scenes and they're actually one of the first sort of depictions that we saw of an intelligent like sort of cunning more than cunning i guess like conniving plotting goblin uh and the flavor text here is the magistrate had been the goblins puppet for so long that he made the right decisions with only a little prompting yeah i'm like where else do you see a goblin like flexing political power like that come on yeah that's pretty awesome yeah so i don't know i just have 20 ones left go for it yeah i think it was like um i'm trying to think about it well i just i i uh now i know my abc's from unhinged um it says the beginning of your upkeep control permanence with names include all 26 letters so you know we all grew up knowing the quick fox jump whatever it is what is it the quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog the quick onyx goblins jumped over the lazy dwarf yes nice that's good so then that's that's a sentence that contains one letter just spell it out for people who may not be familiar with uh the original sentence just spell it out for our goblin listeners let's let's call it what it was did alex just indirectly insult all of our guests just indirectly made a pun i just realized i could spell it out when you're talking about abc's that's just lots of disappointment then speaking of disappointment victory chimes artifact from battle bond so this is the like sports world where everyone just participates in the arena and the flavor text says the favorite noisemaker of goblins ever since the wardens cracked down on explosives oh man we i'm sorry but i gotta go back to actually a creature itself we i cannot believe i had this one cute i forgot goblin balloon brigade yes which is a goblin you can get flying to uh and the way you do that is the enemy is getting too close quick inflate the toad it's a hot air balloon that's a giant toad goblins are resourceful no one has ever said otherwise yeah so we actually brought up portal and starter in some of these sets and you were mentioning the fact that kind of like a mini story uh being told across cards one of them is on canal monitor and so this is just a vanilla creature from ixalan blog and what the flavor text is the first goblin tried to swim the canal the second built a raft the last and craftiest goblin launched herself from a fire cannon and soared over the canal traveling smoke all were eaten but only one was cooked so i kind of like that that story and while looking for problem flavor text i came across and i heard about this somewhere i knew this was a thing before i found it but i'd never seen them but there are four cards from portal second age that tell a story that spans all four of them in the flavor text so the first card is title search and the flavor text is four little goblins trapped by the sea one tease a serpent then there were three uh ogre taskmaster three little goblins enjoying their brew one bump an ogre then there were two wild griffon two little goblins out in the sun down came a griffon then there was one oh and tremor finish this to uh finish the story one little goblin shook up the ground when the dust was cleared no one was found i mean it's beautiful that it was spread across cards in that way i mean when we talk about a set that lore wise that's not really what the set was about you know but we see that flavor text is used for telling stories in a different way yeah yeah it was a neat i think a neat way to you you Thank you. give something for players too to maybe find this little story and there's a thing just put in the set that can kind of be discovered. Well, I wanted to circle back to somebody that is near and dear to our heart which is Squee.
One of our planned Goblin profiles that I've been trying to work on and I just get overwhelmed because Squee is that important in the storyline and actually there are 35 flavor texts that mention Squee alone. And they kind of play on the different nature. There are quotes about Squee there are quotes from Squee and I thought it would be fun to just kind of end with some Squee hits. Most of them involve bugs.
Squee is obsessed with bugs. They're tasty. They're tasty. I mean, I think it's yes, like he, you know like for instance big plants not only good for hiding but full of tasty bugs with a newfound sense of self-importance Squee set his height on even bigger bugs.
Bayou dragonfly like a sugar stick with wings squee goblin cabin hand. Kind of like pincher beetles. No fair, since when does a bug get to munch on me? Yep, if they don't pinch they burn.
Can't you eat any of the bugs here? That's from Firefly. There's Phyrexian battleflies from Invasion. After encountering them Squee finally lost his appetite for bugs.
Yeah, so it's like he likes to eat horseshoe crab. It looks kind of like a bug. Let's crack it open and see if it tastes like what. I mean, that's discerning right there.
Yeah, yeah. And that's a story in and of itself is Squee's relationship falling in love with the eating of bugs and then falling out of it. Yeah, it's tragic. I mean, Squee in general is pretty tragic.
We get one of my favorite of all times just because it was a real world reference but it works well on the card that doesn't distract from it. The original time warp flavor text is let's do it again quote by Squee. Yeah. So reference to Rocky Horror Picture Show.
That's pretty great. And it fits the card too because the card gives a player an extra turn. Yes. Yeah.
Now, some of the show just kind of Squee's relationship with other members of the Weatherlight. Fool's Tome. Squee, what's that? Urtai, it's a magical book.
Squee, am I smart enough to use it? Urtai, you can say that. Aloran, Squee bounce up and down. I see a horsey and a piggy and if you don't shut up, you'll see a kidney and a spleenie.
I like Tainted Will. It's a good one that shows that Squee has a survival instinct. The card turns something into a swamp and his flavor text is no, you get the water. I ain't thirsty.
Two that kind of go together. What we see on Squee, the original Squee, is we see him holding his toy, which we know the toy is actually a really important part of kind of... That's a whole episode right there. Do we know what Squee's toy is?
Somewhat. Not really. I mean, we know it's needed. We know that it's a weapon.
But the text for Ledger Domain, which is a card I definitely have not seen. Have you seen it? No. I definitely have seen this.
This definitely was in my These are cool cards. I'd like to do something with them back in the day. Well, the flavor text is actually it looks like it's him actually getting the toy because Squee tucked the warm ball in his pocket and slipped the pebble in its place. Glocky mumbled and he hid.
So I think this is how we end up with it and we see with Squee's toy as the war is raging around him is as the horrors closed in on Gerard, Squee trembled and clutched his toy for comfort. He didn't know where it came from or why it was so warm, but he was glad he'd kept it near. Well, and I just discovered I've never seen this. The flavor text in Robberfly.
So I think we've mentioned in the past that Squee's superpowers being underestimated. He kind of just all of a sudden Squee just solves the plot. And I think this was a case there. You read the flavor text of Robberfly.
It says, In pursuit of the juicy fly, Squee stumbled on the hidden hanger. Yes. And that was a big part of the plot in that plot. What's interesting, and this was, I mean, well, now let me jump on the soapbox before we end, but again, how goblins get treated maybe the second time around.
When we returned recently to Dominaria, Squee's still there. I mean, we know he can't really die in some ways. I mean, Yawgmoth made him as a toy for Volrat to basically be able to kill him over and over again. It's really a shitty kind of thing.
That's why I kind of like the Karn slay for text on the newest version of his immortality as a curse no one told him. Because when we get him back to Dominaria, we basically have like Karn is there, Joyra's there, Teferi's there, it's like this reunion, and Squee's there, and he's not really, you know, like he's holding his toy, nothing is really made of it, and his flavor text I do love, which is, you gotta be pretty smart to live as long as me, but not being able to die helps. Yep. But I did think it showed kind of how he returned.
I was a little disappointed that Squee didn't really get what seemed like the same fate or like it'd be returned to be part of the story again, which is a bummer because I think he is one of the most fascinating characters, especially given that we've now left Dominaria for this long period of time, we come back, and he's there. Now I do feel like if Karn had asked him, it probably would have been discussions about bugs. Yeah, I think that's a fair assessment. It might have been too that we didn't see this in the story, but you know, maybe Karn and Joyra called Squee up and were like, hey, we could really use you, and Squee was like, nah, I'm good in retirement, that's fine.
I'm sure, but I was only one day until retirement. I was only one century from retirement. Taya, thank you so much for this topic we've had. I mean, I think, this is out to be a Goblin Game short episode, but we just, we really struggled.
So I guess, on the way out, we all need to pick probably our favorite one, and it could be one we've already talked about or one that we haven't yet, and I actually saved one so that I would not talk about it. So I'd like us to all kind of end this episode with what one of our favorite Goblin Flavor Texts is. Now, it could be one we've done or one that we haven't done yet, and I actually purposely was saving one away from you guys hoping nobody would see it, and that is Mog Fanatic, which is basically one of the cards that got most nerfed by these changes from damage and damage on the stack and blah, blah, blah, blah. And it makes sense with the card because it is a, basically it is a Mog diving off of something and it looks like it's got gunpowder in his hand, and it just says, I got it, I got it, I...
My Flavor Texts is going to be another Squee, and it's from Hidden Retreat from Weatherlight, which is, after an hour in the hidey hole, Squee seriously pondered the advantages of danger over boredom. So, I have one that isn't a Goblin. I want to share this one because we're talking about Flavor Texts, and if you two tell me this is cheating, I do have a backup. I have another Goblin I can go to.
But I wanted to share the Flavor Texts from an unhinged card called Doubleheader. And just as, you know, we're all talking about Flavor Texts, I think this is kind of a fun way to share. So, that Flavor Texts is, players that don't read Flavor Texts aren't too bright, sort of smell, and dress funny. But let's just keep that between us, okay?
They can get kind of violent. I like it. I think it's our reminder that everybody should read Flavor Texts. That's our show.
You can find the podcast at GoblinmorePod on Twitter, or email any questions, comments, or concerns to GoblinmorePodcast at gmail.com. If you'd like to support the friendly neighborhood gobslugs, you can do so at patreon.com slash GoblinmorePod. This episode of Goblinmore was hosted by Hobbs Q, where you can find on Twitter at Hobbs Q. This episode was written and co-hosted by Alex Newman, who you can find on Twitter at Alexander Newham.
Engineering, editing, and production for this episode by Joe Redman, where you can find on Twitter at Fyndl, that's F-Y-N-D, or our music is by Vintergot, where you can find at Vintergotten.com, that's VinterG-A-T-A-N.com. Logo by Stephen Raphael on Twitter at Stephen Raffle. Goblinmore is a presentation of Hipster of the Coast, which you can find at hipstersthecoaster.com or at Hipster's MTG on Twitter. Thank you all for listening, and remember, Goblins, like snowflakes, are only dangerous in numbers.