Great, great friend. Can we save this for the for that show? Yeah, whatever. So wait, no, can I do the intro?
Oh. You're gonna give away all the good news. All right. I don't know.
And welcome back to Talking Nonsense. I'm your host, Kyle. I'm here with Christopher. And we're here again with our lovely guest.
Rebecca. Rebecca. Um, yeah. That's it.
Are you guys continue talking? Okay. So, wait, no, I'm just kidding. Hold on.
What are you talking about today? And Chris's love life part two. Are you guys excited or what? Okay.
Let's do it. Okay. Yes. That would require me to do editing.
And one of the resolutions is here. I don't edit. So, no. Yes.
I'll try to find what we can put them back. People have been requesting this episode. People, particularly from our work area. So, you're welcome guys.
I was able to get this done for you. This is gonna be one juicy episode. So, let's just jump right into it. So, Chris, are you seeing it?
No. I'm just kidding. Yeah. Okay.
Okay. So back to the end of the episode. Oh, yeah. Well, there's very good episode then.
So, we were talking about being fed up, how that goes. Do you like it? Do you not like it? That's set up being on a blind date, not trying to catch fish people.
Not a set up. So my good friend was like, oh, let me set you up with my cousin, it'll be gray or whatever. So I'm going to give him your number, he's going to text you. So he text me.
And he was like, we're hitting it all. He's really cool and everything. He's going for his doctoral degree at Pacific, yogi. This is a person that someone set you up with.
Yeah, like their cousin. He's like, top tier. But not just that, not only was he super smart, he was very, like, down to earth. But it was all over text.
That was all over. We were just getting to know each other over messaging. But then when we finally, at that point, when we wanted to meet, it was bad. He had no social skills.
He was just like, oh, yeah, I like to hang out with my family. And I'm like, what's all you talk? Sorry. Yeah, so it was so awkward.
And every time I see him at parties and stuff, I'm just like, what, you see him at parties? Yeah. Wait, what? Because he's my best friend's cousin.
Oh, okay. So my best friend has his son's birthday party or something. He's there. Oh, that's awkward.
Yeah, it's very awkward. And like his mom. What was the next party? Can I come?
His mom came up to me and was like, why didn't it work out? I think it was like our parents' family members. What happened? Oh, you're such a great girl.
I'm in San Diego's 2017. Damn, and Dr. Martin said, why are you with me? I don't know.
He's like right out of high school if you went to UOP. That's why. I'm like, all right, I went to college too. Okay, that's not UOP.
But I still went. That's why I stick up for yourself. I never knocked your degree. I'm not saying that you did, but I'm talking about the listeners.
I'm probably like, damn, calm, let's go real awkward right now. Well, guess what? No, I fucking don't. Cause who won?
You're well-letter. Yeah, what about you? Have you ever been set up, Chris? Or have you ever been set up, buddy?
I've been set up. Yeah. Oh, this is in the Philippines. How was it?
I think this was my first rule. Did you guys send pigeons? No, actually. Okay, that's racist.
All right, just because we're a third world country. It doesn't mean we're a third world country. No, but are we a third world country? Yeah, we're from, oh, like that's sad.
We know we're inside pigeons. They sent chickens. That's a track of love. I gave her one head of cattle.
Dude, that's hello. You know that's a lot of meat. That's not meat for more like a year and a half. Yeah, it's hella meat.
Anyway, that's hella meat. What's going on, are you for short? Well, through longing. It's a really long term.
It's a long term. How long? I like going to see. Hit it.
I'm sure it's made of Linda money. I'm just kidding. You're welcome. That's not it.
I'm not kidding. That's not it. I'm not kidding. I'm not kidding.
I don't know if she had a middle name. I'm pretty sure she had a middle name. Dude, every Filipino has a middle name. I can't remember.
It's probably her mom's maiden name because that's how all four of her panels are. It was Jeremy Devine Grazia. What's her name? We call her D for short.
Would you say her full name on here? Now I don't have to bleep it out. Why? Because we're not exposing people's names on here.
They don't have any people we've already exposed. I started with a down thought. First of all, yeah, that's Chris. He's okay with that.
He consented that. All the other people we've exposed, we bleeped their name. True, yeah. He's Chris's name now.
We took all our maid for short. Okay, Mae. Mae was the former student of my cousin. My cousin also taught her a bunch of her friends.
Former student? Okay, sorry. I was looking for these. I was like, okay.
I was like, okay. I was like, okay. She was fitness. I'm not a ball.
Yeah. Yeah. Okay. We were together for like, we were together for like, we were a thing.
Yeah. We were together for like maybe a year. So how was the original set up? Yeah.
How she did it was just like, oh, meet her over there at the coffee shop or was it like, oh, come over to this family party and then you're obviously going to be there because it's a family party. And then she's like, by the way, this is Chris. Like, you know, take us through the process. We were at, we were at like this.
You are a jelly bean? Nah. You're a sore race. Sorry.
What? Yeah. Don't eat. Don't get it.
Jolly beans are Filipino restaurant. That's why. That's why. Yeah.
They got some fire fried chicken. You guys want to know why? You want to know why the chicken is so fire? Why?
It's because it's the worker's sweat. I'm dead. I'm serious. I probably ruined it for everybody, but that's okay.
I'll slay you. Probably. I'm just kidding. It is.
No. So we were at, I don't know what you call it, but it was like, there's a band playing at the park. Everybody. There's like a lot of free vendors and stuff.
People just come out. It's like a little night market thing. And so you know, there's like, you know, like, so the street vendors are out, you know, drinks are out and we're drinking, having time. And, um, how old are you?
I was like 18 or 19. You were young. You had the spring chicken. Yeah.
I think she was like 22 and she was rockin' the crew. Yeah. She had already graduated. Down.
Oh, wow. Okay. You were young. Chris?
I mean, look at me. That's why we're asking. I don't want to shoot this whole cycle. You know, that's a good one.
That's pretty good. Hey, come on. It's a little better. Anyways.
Yeah, no. So we're at the same market thing. Yeah, no, my cousin introduces her to me. I'm just sitting around having a few drinks.
Okay. Yeah, I believe that's how we met. And then, um, you know, I got her number and started like, just texting. Okay.
Yeah. Um, from the texting went on a couple days, and then yeah. Did she speak English? She did.
She was a nurse. Oh, wow. She had one. So what happened?
How come you're not with her? So you're in a house. I mean, obviously. So what's the worse thing for a year and a half?
Yeah, she's not. Okay. with this other American guy who like got like hooked on like opioids and shit. Oh, yeah.
So like, I don't know, I don't know what happened to them, but yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah. So I mean, at that point though we were close to breaking up anyway.
I was going through college and I was meeting other people and I had like other like social engagements. You know, obviously other like, when I first started college I was a nursing major. So I was a predominantly female, of course. So she didn't really like that.
So I mean, yeah. You can't have jealousy in that relationship. So I'm doing some water painting. Yeah.
Yeah. I mean, you can have like healthy jealousy. There is, but that was not the thing. At that point though, it was kind of, it was really unhealthy.
Yeah, we broke up. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. So how do you feel like, how do you guys feel once you break up still keeping contact or no? I would prefer that. No.
Definitely not. Oh, to keep in contact? If it's amicable. Yeah.
No breakup is amicable. See, no breakup is an ethical growth. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I'm like a ball. No breakup is that word. Yeah. Yeah.
They say that, but it's not true. It's not true. I think it is. I can agree to that sentiment.
No, I don't think it ever is. I think if the only reason why you're saying that, sorry to keep cutting off, but the only reason why you're saying that is because you were, you were usually the one breaking up with the person. My job. I think after like maybe years and you guys were in a tweet.
Yeah, for sure. Yeah. You're asking after a breakup. Oh, no, I'm not like texting the next day.
Like, wanna go get mobo? This guy is apparently. That was a week. Yeah.
Still fresh. Yeah, still fresh. The person's mind. Okay.
The skillet was still out. He went. But yeah, that's no breakup is ever. Okay.
Let me rephrase. I would like to keep in contact. Why? To make sure they didn't help me.
It's emotional maturity thing for me. You're not mature baby. No. What's she saying?
You're not mature baby. No, I think it's more mature when you can just move on and forget that person. Yeah, no, it is for sure. But there's no reason.
Like hold on to this. Oh, fuck you. You broke the heart. It's like, yo, yeah, fair enough.
I'm not saying I'm better about it. Yeah, fuck that bit. No, it's like, if you both like, because when you guys, when people break up, like I think it's, I think it's a fair thing to say that both people can see it coming. Yeah.
Sometimes I'll say 60% of the time you can see it coming. 60% of the time it works all the time. If you don't know where that quote's from, you can't be your podcast listener. I'm kidding.
Anyway, I'm not sure you do it. I did know it. But yeah, no, like I just feel like it's not a surprise. Oh my God.
You got the Ronac? Hold on. Okay. Hold on.
Wait a second. I hate guys. Please. No.
I think you can see the breakup coming. And at that point, it's like you have, you either know that both of you fucked up? Chances are probably both of you have fucked up. Yeah.
Or you're like, or if you don't see it coming, you just might be like the looting yourself. And at that point, you should be single and like kind of be introspective. No, but yeah, I agree with the other spin a whole bunch of, there's like arguments leading up to the breakup. Yeah, for sure.
I mean, like, what are the chances like one day or wise, like you wake up your wife and one day she's like, I don't want to be with you anymore. Without there ever being like prior overlapping like circumstances. You know, like that, like that's just kind of unheard of. Yeah, you know.
Yeah, I agree. Yeah. Anyways, have you ever been set up Kyle? Thank you.
I'm sure you should have it. Wait, that's a lie. Woohoo. I'm assuming you're out.
I remember your cousin told me that she tried setting you up with the nurse. Okay, try it as in like, we never even went out. She never even like set it up. She was just showing me the pictures of Kyle, we think this girl.
I'm like, she's cute, whatever. So she's single. I'm like, okay. And she's like, well, we're all talking some other time already.
So I was like, okay. I hope you're doing it. Yeah, like I was already talking to someone. So now they're set up?
No, there was another one. So we were at a party and then it wasn't even like our cousin. It was my uncle that was trying to do it. Yeah.
Down south. Right at family party. And then it was hella awkward though because he wasn't even trying to be subtle about it. He shut up, came up to me when I was like chilling, hanging out with my cousin.
He's like, Kyle, come here. He's like, come here. Come here. Sorry.
He's like, pulling me. I'm like, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. And then I'm like, waiting. And all of a sudden he comes with a girl.
And he's like, so and so this is Kyle. And I'm like, hey. And she's like, hi. And then he's like, go, go, you guys stop.
And I'm like, huh? So then I'm like, cool. Or I'm just like, hello, random. I'm at a family party, right?
And she just having a BS. I don't know. She can be my cousin for I know, right? And then like, so I was just like standing there and then she's kind of quiet too.
And then my cousin sees that like, it's all awkward so that she like comes over. Oh, Kyle, someone's calling you. I'm like, oh, thank you. And then like, my other cousin comes up to me and she's like, what happened?
I'm like, what do you mean? He's like, dude, uncle's trying to set you up with that girl. I'm like, why? She's like, I'm like, she's pretty cute.
Go talk to her. I'm like, I'm cool. Because again, at that time I was already talking to somebody. Yeah.
So, yeah. What's going on in blind aid? Oh, yeah. Oh, but no.
Oh, maybe not that as if it's going to happen ever again. That's good. Thank you. Before her would have ever gone on one day.
Yeah. Yeah. I think so. Yeah.
Why? What's the difference between that and being set up? You got the same shit? No.
I feel like with a blind aid, probably is. Yeah. Yeah, probably a same shit. That was the person who actually blind.
That was so dumb. But, okay. So then kind of moving forward now and sort of why we want to record this podcast. Because would you ask them earlier?
Or no, you were asking us a question. Oh, you asked, am I picky? Oh, yeah. I said people always call me picky.
Oh, right. And we're like, yes. And I'm like, I'm not picky. Why not?
I don't feel like I'm picky. Why do you not feel like I'm picky? I just like it's not like. Okay.
Back up. In your mind, when you hear the word picky, what does that mean to you? I feel like someone who's very selective. Okay.
And then what was it that she said to us before recording? I'm not picky. I'm selective. Okay.
That's a joke. Right. No, I just feel like when you say someone's picky, they're like, oh, I want like this, this, this and this and this and a person. Yeah.
Yeah. I feel like I'm not like that. I feel like when I learn about persons, like whatever they tell me, it's like, I don't like that, that, that or that. You're picking.
You just wait to know the person to be picky. I think when it comes to dating and relationships, yeah, it's okay to be like, you know what? This is what I'm looking for. Right?
Like I like this. I like that. I don't like that. And I don't like this.
But I think, okay, keep going. Just your situation and why people are calling you picky or say that you are picky because they see you in these relationships, right. And for whatever reason, like not even within a week or a month. You're just like out of it, like that.
Yeah. Yeah. So you're honestly telling me, like within that week, you've already found every single thing you don't like about that person. Yeah.
And you're not, but a lot of things. And you're not willing to compromise. Because you do understand that relationships take. So a lot of comfort.
Yeah, no, I understand it. You want to understand that? I don't know, do you? That's what we're asking.
to compromise, is that it? Yeah, maybe. That's fine. Yeah, yeah, maybe, like, you know, don't compromise.
That's in so many ads. What? What? No, no.
I'm confused. No. Who are you sponsored by? I guess, yeah.
OK, maybe, yeah, maybe I'm not willing to compromise. But it's OK, no, that's not true. I feel like I am willing to compromise. But the other person is not willing to compromise your demands.
Is that it? No. Maybe it's not that, maybe it's not that extent. What, like, maybe to the extent of, like, go ahead, think it out.
OK, so if I was with someone and, like, I didn't like them, I'd want to be friends. OK. Right? I think me wanting to be friends is to compromise.
But with them, it's like, oh, I were together and we're not. And I feel like you're not willing to work with. I think it's them being uncomfortably optimized. Yeah, well, you know, I think I'm in that situation more often, or like that situation arises.
I can see why they wouldn't want to compromise because you guys started off initially as more than friends. Yeah, so go ahead and make your point. So then it's like, you're starting off as more than friends. And it's then it's you ending the more than friends.
Now, it's just friends. So it's hard for them to be like going from your lover to like, well, he doesn't want it. I still want it. But he only wants to be friends.
So I'm going to stick around just to be his friend. Or I'm not going to stick around just to be his friend. Because again, you also have to think about their emotions. Like, where are they?
Well, that's what you have to ask yourself. I don't think you do. Like, I don't think you realize that these other people obviously have emotions clearly, right? So like, because one of them, my point is the fact that, yeah, you got to think about the other person, though.
Like, she's right. You guys started out more than friends, right? And all of a sudden, you end it. And you're like, we can still be friends, though.
That's not really fair to the person. No, especially if they were fully committed into liking you and you just weren't feeling anymore. You know what I mean? Like, can you be friends after a breakup?
Honestly, for me, no. Not until years, years down, maybe. Or maybe not even ever. Just because someone was always 100% in, which I'm not saying that's how every relationship should be.
I mean, it's different for everyone, right? Like, but someone's always 100% in. And then as soon as the other person's not and they end it, then they're always going to have those feelings for the person who ended it. So it's not easy for them to do it.
They could do it. Obviously, people grow and change and they get mature and whatever. So they can do it, but you can't expect them to do it as easy as you can. Because you're the one that broke up with them.
Yeah, you already had your moment to process the breakup. Because you're thinking, yeah. So you leading up to the make breakup, you already went through your breakup, you already healed yourself. You already were over that person.
They didn't get that chance. Is he not going out? No. Luigi, come on.
Go. Okay. Okay to that. That's fair point.
I think I've come to the realization that I don't like. Yes. I don't like dating knowing that if this doesn't work out, this person's never going to be like, that's it. Why though?
Because honestly, to me, that just seems selfish. To me, honestly, when you think, when you're saying it like that, I see it as, look, I'm a date this person and if it doesn't work out, then I'm just going to leave them in my pocket for later or whatever. I know that's not what you're doing, but that's obviously how it seems and that's probably how it seems to them too. Because when you break up with them and you say, like, we could still be friends, though, let's try to be friends, then they're always, like I said, because they're always 100% in it, right?
They're going to think in the back of their mind, there's a chance. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, they're on the line then.
And you're saying, like, we could still be friends and like, hey, you know, you're hitting them up texting them, talking to them, like, friends, right? They're still going to think, look, there's that chance, there's that chance, somewhere in there. That residual. Yeah.
You know what I mean? Okay. But I guess the way I see it is like, if I'm only ever going to be with this person, like, that's the only, like, that mentioned they're going to be in my life, that seems selfish to me. Because it's like, it just seems so biological in a sense, like, oh, because like, she's a woman, I have these feelings for her, like, I have to be with her.
But like, what comes in my mind? It's like, if that's it, that seems so superficial to me. It seems so surface level. I get like, I feel like on the contrary, like, being friends with someone allows you to explore certain emotions that you normally wouldn't explore with someone you're like, kind of seeing, like, as like, oh, this person is my particular, like, she could be my wife, she could be my girlfriend, she could be someone I have children with.
Like, that has its own set of feelings, which are all legitimate, knowing you're wrong. But when you, like, you are friends with someone, I feel like that allows you to explore more proton and kind of like feeling, which is what you're doing, like, you're like, I still feel like it's important, because it's like, when you say you love someone, is it that you deeply care about them, or is it just that you're in love with them, being in love and loving someone are feeling very different? Yeah, they are. There's different loves.
Like, there's different meanings and levels and experiences and just timing of love. Like, love is definitely, I mean, you can write off the map that meets someone and be like, yeah, I love that person, or like, but like, that love at that moment is just like, you care for them because of the person they are. But then like, years later, that's a different love that you have to do with them, and you have to be in love with them. Yeah, and I guess, okay, to that point then, it's like, I don't want to just be in love with someone.
I feel like that's very... What do you want? Like, I want to, I, me personally, like, for myself, want to know that I care about this person, not just as like, someone I can be with, but I, as another human being can genuinely say, like, I care for this person, and I've been there, or put the models in, and I'm not just like, random. So that's commitment, right?
I guess so. But I feel like it's committed towards myself. And I think that art might be selfish. So I think what people, these days, why so many marriages end, is that because they forget that they constantly have to commit that one person, even if the love is not there at that moment, right?
Because when you argue and you're fighting and you disagree, there's not really love right there at that moment, right? But what there is, is a fundamental commitment to that person. Like, I'm willing to commit to you constantly, even if we're fighting right now, the commitment of working this out. So I think that although love, there's, like I said, there's different stages of love and different years of love and time of the love, I think that what there always will be in a relationship, whether it's a friendship, or whether it's love or a marriage, there's always commitment.
Commitment to constantly work with that person to just be friends, or be lovers, or be whatever. Yeah, and I think kind of going back to what you said, like, you feel like when you get into a relationship, the other person is always kind of like, I understand it, or the only, like, result obviously is you guys are a thing, right? And you, that's what you don't like, right? Like, that's what you, you feel like it shouldn't be that, right?
Okay, and I just think that maybe, I mean, obviously, how do I say this? Because it's true, it shouldn't be that obviously, but these relationships you do get into. They started off that way. Yeah, you know what I mean?
So I feel like maybe it's the way you're starting out, your relationships, and maybe you're just putting it in your mind, and in their mind as well, because of how you started it, like, okay, and it was obviously, it has to be good enough together. Right. But that shouldn't be how it is. You should always get into these things, obviously, not saying like, we're going to get married.
Yeah, or I love you, or I care about you. Or, you know, sexual. Yeah, you know, because if you really just want to be cool friends with someone, you need to leave out those kinds of feelings. But also on the flip side of that, though, what exactly is wrong with someone going into something and thinking the end result should be married.
You know what I mean? What's wrong with that? I think what might be wrong with that is, it's just like how it is right now. Like how I'm kind of like reserved in that sense.
Like, I want to be friends first, see where it goes, and if I talk to someone, it might be in their head, like, me, like, this is, this has got to go somewhere. Oh, yeah. You know, and I think it's just that different level, it's just that different reservation that people have. So maybe you're just dating the wrong girls?
Yeah, no, for sure. It could be that. I mean, I don't think it's the fact that you, like, like we said, like, you're coming to the camera. I think I'm coming to be honest.
Totally, obviously. Clearly. I'm just kidding. I'm worried.
No, but I don't think it's, to me, like, when you say all that stuff right now, and I'm just trying to process it all, obviously, I'm processing it as you think every person you get into a relationship with thinks this way. Yeah. Okay, it's like, okay, it's all, that's a very, it's definitely, is definitely we're going to get married. And you don't like that.
Yeah. But I think because you're thinking that way, you're kind of manifesting it. Yeah. And your actions in that relationship actually causes that and lets them think, like, oh shoot, and gay marriage for us, right?
But then at the same time, it's probably like one, stuff thinking like that. And then two, it could just be the girl. You're just dating the wrong girls. You need to date more and more girls who know that obviously if you're going to date and goal is not going to be marriage.
Well, I mean, it's probably in the back of your mind, but you don't understand that we're just dating right now. It's a problem. No, not dating. We're just being friends.
Because he meets all these girls obviously on dating apps or whatever, right? So automatically right off the bat, like if you're on a dating app, they're in games, a relationship. Yeah. Yeah.
I mean, so like that's a very good assessment. Yeah. You know, regardless, right? Yeah.
But, um, how far are we in? 30 minutes. Okay. Why?
Because I have to go drop off my deposit and trace it. Oh, what time? Now? Yeah, I was hoping that I didn't think it was like, I thought we'd be done before.
Oh, we'd be like, oh, go, go. Then we continue this later. Yeah. Yeah, go.
Go back. Go in a little. Oh, maybe just start using our Auntie. Am I going to that?
Are we going to do that? Two weeks later. Is it two weeks? No, I think it's been two weeks.
No. Two weeks. It's been two weeks. I'm pretty sure it's been two weeks.
Well, to them, it's literally only been a second. But for us, it's been two weeks because now, it's weird. And we're back. Last thing we were talking about, at least from what I remember I was telling Chris here that yeah, maybe you're just looking at the wrong girls.
All the ones that you are saying have that mentality of like, Who's like right off the bat? No. Like they don't want a friendship. They want.
Really? Yeah. Really? You ship.
I just don't. I don't understand that concept of having a lesbian relationship. But whatever you ask, like, oh, let's just, like, would we be friends after? Or like, what do you not understand about that?
I think it's because you guys start off. Sorry. I know. I tell you guys all the time.
Yeah. I know. I was like, I don't call it that. For those of you, I don't think they heard that one that time.
But I was rubbing the blanket on my table. Yeah. That sounds wrong. But where you going?
I want to go. Oh. You asked us her name? I don't think, like, asking that question is, oh, like, can we be friends after dating sex?
I guess that shouldn't have raised an alarm. Right. But as a girl, do you want to girl perspective or not? OK, hold on.
I don't think so. We'll get to you. But like, to me, my thing is, why are you even asking that question? Because I'm curious.
Well, like, yo, if I plan to break up with you, can we still be friends? Yeah, that's how they're seeing it. Why is that a flag though? Because I understand that.
That is kind of a flag to me. That means that you're already, yeah. Like she said, you don't want to be. Yeah, you're kind of like, OK, I don't know.
Yeah. That's on you. Yeah, like if I was to ask someone that, that's because I'm prepping them, that I'm going to leave their ass. Like, hey, yo, you cool cat.
Can we still be friends if this doesn't work out? No, most guys I know are going to be like, why? What did I do? I feel like it's different if you ask it like.
Right at the start? Yeah, no. Like if you're like three years in, and you're like, you know, do you even be friends if we broke up? Anytime you're in.
Versus like if you just start going out. OK, if you ask me when you start going out. No, even I feel like the deeper you're in, the better it is. Exactly.
That's what I mean though. OK, that's what I'm saying. So I said, so you want to ask right at the start? You're like, no, like three years in.
Yeah, but what I'm saying is the deeper you're in the relationship and you ask that question, the worse it is. Yeah, that's what I'm agreeing with you. OK, but you were saying, you don't understand what I'm saying. Anyway, anyway, yeah, no, I agree with that.
Like the deeper you're in, that question, yeah, that's how it loaded, which is why I had asked you. So you want to ask it right at the start? Yeah, yeah, you would want to ask it right at the start. That's still kind of weird.
Is it? Yeah, a little bit. Yeah, you're not a girl. Yeah, and I think you're a bitch.
You're a bitch. No, he's sick because I ain't a bitch. Oh, no, I think because you a little bitch. No, I'm just kidding.
I'm not that either. I think that this is probably going to sound a little harsh, but I feel like with that mentality, it's kind of selfish. No, I wouldn't ask it. Yeah, because I think that's why you're thinking like why is that a bad thing?
I think because you're not really thinking of their feelings. You're seeing as you, you don't see as a bad thing. Yeah, because that's you that's your opinion. You don't see as a bad thing.