Episode 46: Post Traumatic Parenting

Today, Jodi speaks with Dr Robyn Koslowitz of Targeting Parenting. We all experience trauma at some point or another. Since an individual’s life experiences affect one’s current status, it is crucial to ensure that your parenting is stemming from an authentic place that does not carry too much baggage. Additionally, it is important to be on the lookout for the potential of your child’s emotions manifesting in negative ways and avoiding ways in which your parenting can lead to sensitive outcomes on behalf of your child(ren). About Our Guest:Dr. Robyn Koslowitz is a clinical psychologist, parenting educator, and the host of the Post-Traumatic Parenting podcast. Dr. Koslowitz received her master’s degree in School Psychology from New York University in 2002, and her Ph.D. in School/Clinical Child Psychology from New York University in 2009. Dr. Koslowitz has been working as a licensed school psychologist since 2002, and as a licensed clinical psychologist since 2017 (NJ License # 5751). While at NYU, Dr. Koslowitz was privileged to serve as a research assistant to such prominent professors as Dr. Ester Buchholz (author of books on child psychotherapy); Dr. Carol Gilligan (whose book In A Different Voice revolutionized the psychology of women and adolescent girls) and Dr. Sandee McClowry (whose research on Temperament Based Teaching and Parenting pioneered empirically validated temperament based parenting programs).Show Notes:5:55: Childhood trauma and its effects on parenting“Just because you've been traumatized by a childhood experience doesn't mean you had quote, unquote bad or abusive parents”9:30: Advice to parents “If you have the luxury to free yourself up to be a parent, meaning that if there is a trauma that you've never really dealt with, if there's an experience or something that's still bugging you that something that like you haven't fully gotten over, do what you can to deal with that experience, get yourself into a really healthy good place” 14:30: Overcoming a behavioral tendency that may be stemming from trauma“Journaling about it, thinking about it, perhaps getting therapy about it, reading the trauma literature, getting to sort of know the trauma world, and thinking it through … A lot of post traumatic parents come into therapy, thinking like ‘oh I came out of this unscathed, I had this really traumatic childhood, but I'm really fine' ”17:40: Being aware of and supporting your child’s potential trauma“It's our job to get in there, young, and foster that relationship as best we can. We want our kids to know things like: no matter what happens, no matter what trouble you get into, you can always come talk to me about it and I will hear you out” 20:30 Toy-hacking“When we play with someone else, our brains are actually in attunement. And research actually shows ... if a child plays with a parent, their brainwaves are in sync with each other” Post-Traumatic Parenting is both a podcast and social media community for parents who have ever asked themselves: How can I give my children a normal childhood, if mine was anything but? Or perhaps, our childhood was lovely, but through recent events their lives have left us reeling. After all, since Covid, we’re all Post-Traumatic Parents now! Dr. Koslowitz goes Live on Instagram every Monday night at 7PM EST, with Dr. K’s Story Club, and also goes live on Thursday nights at 9PM EST with Therapy Thursday.Credits:Host: Jodi FriedGuest: Dr. Robyn KoslowitzEditor: Matt Feiler