🎙️Episode 48a: I'm trying to prove myself worthy of the blessing

🎙️ Crumb Confessional — Episode 48aTitle: I'm trying to prove myself worthy of the blessingDescription:It's early morning on June 29, 2025, and I'm driving out to get coffee for my wife while staying at my in-laws’ place. Later today, we’re heading to a big family party, but my mind is still tangled in yesterday’s wrestling. I recorded one of my most vulnerable episodes—processing idols, ego, prosperity, and the real motives behind my obedience. This episode is a reflection and continuation of that—raw, unfiltered, and as honest as I know how to be. I end with a prayer to mark the moment and surrender the outcome.I talk about:My desire to live for Jesus vs. my ego-driven hunger to be materially blessedThe danger of making spiritual pursuit itself an idolMy internal battle with prosperity theology and provisionWhy rest is hard for me, and how burnout affects my familyThe need to embody truth, not just talk about itWanting to be trusted by God with wealth to glorify HimTrusting God’s pace, even when I don’t understand His plan💡 Highlights & Timestamps:00:00 – Morning coffee run, big family day ahead01:30 – Reflection on yesterday’s vulnerable confession03:00 – Wrestling with whether Jesus is truly my reward06:45 – The fine line between obedience and idolatry12:30 – My ego wants to prove God’s goodness through success19:00 – The craving for rest and how burnout affects my love26:10 – A prayer of surrender over calling, provision, and legacy📖 Scriptures Referenced:Matthew 11:28–30 – “My yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”Matthew 6:33 – “Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness…”Ephesians 3:20 – “Exceedingly abundantly more than all we ask or imagine.”2 Corinthians 5:7 – “We walk by faith, not by sight.”🧠 Core Takeaway:God has proven He’s faithful—now I’m learning how to be faithful, too, without needing to prove anything to anyone but Him.🙏 Closing Line:Crumb Confessional #48a — I'm doing this as best as I possibly can, all for you, because you have blessed me beyond my wildest imagination.