How am I hard to shop for cuz I don't know what you want. You know what that just shows that you don't know me, bro You don't know me as a person and we've been like doing this podcast for how long now shit I help I'm like my bad guys I'm just a terrible gift giver honestly. You're just a terrible. Yeah, I'm just kidding And welcome back to talking nonsense.
I'm your host Kyle and I'm here with Christopher It's it's nice to be back again. Yeah, you know recording another episode virtually guys just so you know You know what we're gonna say virtually. I'm safe during these times, you know fucking fucking COVID man Yeah, it's honestly honestly you gotta respect people's boundaries What I'm just kidding. No, yes true speaking of which how that day go man Bro, come on just how they go why because literally we're talking about boundaries, okay?
Okay, okay, I see what you did there Chris. I see what you did there. Yes. Yes.
No. This topic is about taxes I Think that should just become our running gag honestly like just every time we introduce the topic. It's not what the title is We're totally not talking about boundaries Yeah, so why well I was the one that kind of wanted to talk about this because I feel like it's important You know we do have to respect each other's boundaries especially during these times Yeah, social distancing and whatnot, but also just personal or Sorry, not like not just physical boundaries, but just like you know emotional boundaries. Yeah Trying to dig into people's lives when you don't necessarily need to know their personal life, you know Yeah, like have you ever experienced anything like that where someone in your life was like always asking you I mean not to say that it's a bad thing to ask you about how your life is going But like just kind of pushed it a little too far.
Yeah, you all the time Okay So our topic today is Really me you feel like I push you know, I mean I'm a little bit sometimes okay give us an example then just like you know like Whether it be yeah, like primarily usually happens whenever it's about like my dating life. Mm-hmm, you know Like sometimes it's like I wish I could just be like yeah, I'm talking to somebody and then have it be the end of that You know, but right like you typically like to fish and I get I get it you get out of curiosity and also Well, I'm hella calling me out bro respect my boundaries of not dishing my shit out to the public But I don't do it out of love to you like each one actually, you know I'm doing well and so so but with other people sometimes I've had a few friends there who are like That just you know if you ask what you're doing, you're like, I'm just kind of busy and they're like, oh with what and it's like You know, I mean like yeah, I can't just like a hit yeah, there's always those one-offs, you know where it's like yeah It's sometimes it's it's because you don't want to talk to them right. Yeah, you're like that's like hey, what are you doing? It's like busy.
It's like oh with what it's like Nighing out you yeah different plans man. Can't you see you today? Yeah? I haven't had any too many to me issues with like my physical boundaries being like interrupted or crossed yeah Like okay, usually it's like a lot of my I guess emotional boundaries being Okay, so kind of going back a little bit then you said I tend to cross those emotional boundaries with you And that's with me asking about your personal life So how do you sort of I guess as advice to other people who experience that too?
How do you manage that then like do you tell me like hey man like no stop because just avoid every Listen to our last episode toxicity Chris is best advice ever just whenever you're dealing with any sort of problem Just avoid it. Yeah, do the opposite of what Neiki does except you hit avoid it. No, um just don't you just don't know I think it depends on like who like like what the specific situation is so I mean specifically with you and I like I know if I Like I know if I tell you back off most likely off most likely you will you know Especially if it's like like if I really sit you down just like yo, I really don't want to talk about it or whatever But I mean I think it's one of those you got to know who you're talking to and like kind of what works best best Like I feel like sometimes if you do tell someone like back on that just gives them a little more reason to push, you know Right, so like what other kind of emotional boundaries that I guess do you have is it mainly just anything about your personal life or like maybe Or I guess that is pretty much everything huh when I get to not physical boundaries Yeah, at least right my personal life Is like definitely like I'm the type of limits Yeah, no, it's not off limits. Just like I got like you in on my own time, you know Like like I definitely can't you can't just be like oh, so who's blah blah.
It's like whoa, I mean You're already kind of like know who blah blah is like why like why do I even have to like say anything at this point You obviously like like searched or like done some digging somehow whatever what have you but yeah You know, I just feel like with like at least my personal life Like I'm a very private person and like if it's like relevant for you to know that Particular piece of information than you'll know if not it's like why do you need to know, you know? Like that's how I see it right yeah, yeah For sure What about me like let's me go about these like do you like no man? I'm an open book bro What man the border is open folks No, you're not border patrols not on duty in my life. No, I'm like Because I feel like you're you're the type of person shut it down like super quickly Yeah, I mean it also like for me it depends as well like on I guess the severity of information Like for example, I used to be the type at least when I was single like if I wasn't any Shaperform in in the chase and for those of you that don't know what the chase is you know Obviously like what you're talking to someone right like a significant other or potential so I didn't really care if I told anybody about it Or not I was the type to want to tell somebody about it because you know I was so invested in it I'm like and I'm happy and I want to share that with people So yeah, I never really had too much of a personal boundary with that information of course when it comes to like oh, did you consider?
Did you guys do this stuff? Well, like I'm not gonna disclose that information that that's where I draw the line But border is closed at that point, you know BPs on control How do you feel about that like about like kissing and telling you think that's like a no-no You think it's disgusting? See I don't know because I think it also depends on the person like if it was like my sister or brother telling me all that shit Yo, whoa, that's a no-no like I don't need to hear that. I'm really I don't need to hear that if it's like Oh, maybe a friend of mine like I don't want to know the mini-gritty details or whatever But if you're even telling me like yo, I smash like that's cool congrats dude Yeah, you know, remember it's so but um yeah Like I was an open book, you know, I would tell family members or cousins I was talking to about other people I was into what not I let them know all that information And then I think as I got older and I think also I started to realize like yo these people that I'm telling this information to Are kind of using it for themselves like if that makes sense like they were like using that information to kind of um I don't want to say like boost their own ego or anything like that, but kind of just using it uh Like in a name explain this but I guess just huh like in a negative way like black meal where No, not necessarily black male, but just kind of like oh you just want to know It's just so that you could like have something to talk about with somebody else Like you just like you can't even come up with anything interesting in your life that you just need to gossip about other people's lives, you know Yeah, like as I got older and I started to see that that's when I was like, okay I need to start making some more personal boundaries like I need to stop telling certain people about certain things or whatever and stuff like that What?
I mean you realize that like who? Because I'm assuming something happened that made you think like oh, I probably shouldn't have told It's like for my own personal reasons and yes, some some things did happen but boundaries no or Chris boundaries, man. I can't I know how this comes out. We can't really be talking about or we can't have a topic about boundaries and not talk about what they were No, it's just like so for my own personal reasons is like I wouldn't say I'm a very superstitious guy I mean, I guess I kind of am but I just noticed that every time I talk Oh, well So I just noticed that every time I told somebody about a new girl that I liked or a new girl that I'm talking to And this might be a good see both this might just be in my head, but I ended up not working out You know, I mean so I told myself like I need to stop telling people things because I jinx myself and I fucking up You know like if I was talking to somebody new and I told let's say for example you like oh, I'm talking to this one girl blah blah blah blah you know a few months maybe even a couple days down the line something happens and we no longer like talk So I feel like it's just like jinxing you know how sometimes people when either they get a new job or they're applying for something or whatever it is They don't want to tell anybody because they don't want to jinx themselves.
It's like that. Yeah, so Yeah, that's when I created those boundaries and I was like, you know what? I need to not tell people anymore and then just on another level it's just like When people spread your shit, you know what I mean? Like to other people like someone else find out about your What you told somebody else and then like they come up to you like hey, I heard you're getting a new job over here It's like what the fuck I didn't tell you you know, I mean, it's just like oh, yeah, I heard it from so and so It's like the fuck I didn't tell them to tell you, you know, so then that's when I was like, okay I need to really really set some boundaries as well and it's like stuff like that too like where Um, I kind of wanted to talk about this episode is where like when is it okay to tell somebody else's Information or not information but like something that you heard from someone like when is it okay to kind of get involved with it or whatever?
You know what I mean? Yeah, I mean so like realistically with that like I think I think it I think like logically the morally correct answer is that it's like that's not your yeah Like if it's not your business, you shouldn't talk about it But people being like, you know, we're human beings like I could be a bit of a gossip suppose Like I love hearing tea, you know, yeah, and I like thinking about like who's who's in the right who's in the wrong? That sort of thing but I mean You know, so like realistically, but like I think it's gonna happen that being said though. It's like If you're airing out like your dirty laundry over Facebook, right?
Like oh me, my significant other like Going through hell of shit like she's telling she on me this that the other like that's kind of like fair game Then if it's like all over Facebook or like social media or something right like Right, if you're like, you know That yeah, like that's that I feel like that's fair game just because like you're publishing that material on there Right. That's that's funny that you bring that up because um That yeah, that's fair to say that that is fair game, especially because it's out in the public but like again me personally I do believe like I have a very strong notion of look. It's their life Why do I have to get involved with it? You know, I mean and it's like if even if they are publicly posting it on Facebook Sometimes I'll come across stuff like um, you know, like what you just said someone's posting about oh This is so shitty like this is going on in my life blah blah blah blah and then somebody else who knows that person too will come and be like Yo, man, like what's going on?
It's like, I don't know. It's not my life. Like why do I ask me? It's not my business to tell you what's going on.
You find out for yourself You know, I mean so me personally like even though it is out there in the public I think I set my own boundaries like you know what whatever they're dealing with they're dealing with like they should deal with it I shouldn't get involved, but that's not to say that I will never get involved Especially if it comes to a very severe point where I feel like I should so I'm like I'm half and half I guess you know, it's like respect their boundaries and then at some point cross it Yeah, I mean I guess the point they're trying to make with what I was saying is that like you can't be surprised if you are if you arrow your dirty laundry And then like someone you're not really close to you ask you about it. Right. Yeah, you know me like But yeah, like also like how do you feel then about like let's just say like sorry? Do you like cutting out?
Say that one time? Oh, sorry Right. Yeah, I want a hot spot Let's just say like you and your significant harder are like going through some things Would you be upset if she like aired out some of your own like your own dirty laundry? Like I would be upset if she aired out any laundry regarding with our relationship.
Oh, to be completely honest like yeah You don't think yeah, I wholeheartedly believe that when it comes to what no go no finish your thing Like like cuz I mean let's just say like she was just venting though, right? Like I'm like you do this then the other that made me feel Yada yada. Obviously. I know but oh good.
Yeah, but like it wasn't like the It was just like let's just say it was just how embarrassing you're like it's really taking out of context. Maybe let's just say Okay, well see Okay, here's the thing So if she's going on Facebook and saying like oh Kyle Doesn't clean the room or whatever like that could be something like venting out right like he doesn't clean this he doesn't clean that that's me stuff like That shouldn't be aired out because it's like yo the fuck like you're telling people about me personally like Why are you letting me know that I'm that fucking lazy first of all And secondly like if you have an issue with that come talk to me about that because so what I was trying to say I hold Wholeheartedly believe that when you're in a relationship and you guys are having personal problems Not to say that you can't vent to somebody else but I feel like you should vent first to that person You know, I mean air it out with the other Widget significant other because most like a hundred times out of a hundred times 100 percent It probably will get resolved that way, you know, like oh I see a lot of issues Coming in when the person who's having issues in the relationship goes to somebody else tells them about it And then you know how fucking gossip works do that person somebody else that person somebody else And it eventually gets back to the other sitting other who she who he or she did not talk to about it And it just causes even more problems, you know, I mean like again It all comes down to communication and all that stuff, you know, and but if it's something like oh Kyle farts all the time like funny stuff, you know or like Kyle Yeah, every morning like Kisses me or whatever like how sweet or like he doesn't kiss me or no, not even that actually but you know small little things like I'm okay with whatever event that out I don't see a personal boundary there to me personally, but anything else though, I think is kind of um, there should be a boundary at least with that. Yeah You know what about you? You don't do you agree or you feel no, I'm in the same boat I feel like I mean if there's certain things you can vent about, you know, like I think it's okay even if you're like I think it's I think it's okay to like be like oh Sometimes I wish people would do this side of the other right obviously you're talking about someone specific Yeah, but like I feel like that's okay.
I mean yeah, maybe it is throwing a little shade Again, it's so funny that you bring that up like I truly see how Opposite or not opposite we are but it's just funny because I hate that shit too like throwing a shade like that Again, it's like if you have a problem with me, the funny tell me bro. Don't go over on the internet Or if it's like be like, I hate it when people don't text you back It's like obviously people know what you're talking about and probably most likely know who you're talking about So it's like even if you try to not disclose the information you're disclosing the information Hey, dude regardless. So like I I've like personally experienced that too like I remember one time I think it was at high school or college. Um someone posted something and I knew that they were talking about me I'm like this motherfucker like you knew for sure you think you knew oh I knew it was really obvious I was like this motherfucker what is it?
Boundaries, bro boundaries Come on man. We have to have some concrete examples on how to know to avoid certain situations with boundaries Um, you know Well, okay to be completely honest with you I can't remember what it was but I swear I've had a personal experience without which is why I don't like it when people do that Okay, let me give me some time I'll probably remember it a little ways down this episode and I'll probably tell the story but um But yeah, you know just I think even throwing shade like that is Breaking the boundary I think that's okay Just because they're not specifically like naming you you know, yeah, I guess I'm like how I totally just went 180 like no and then yeah, okay I mean it'd be different if they're like oh, yeah carl like you know fucking Kill has AIDS or something like that's like all right. Oh boundaries, dude. It's like TMI Yeah, or like oh, yeah, like oh, yeah, oh, caw stuff with like, you know 20 girls or whatever like that's like it's like Like that's like there's venting in there's like trying to like ruin someone's like social life.
I feel like Okay, so let me ask you this then Let me ask you this um when do you feel like uh, it's okay, it's across the boundary or let that you kind of Need to because I me for uh, me personally Just thinking about it Kind of well, it's just like because again like I said it all depends on the severity or whatever of the situation and whatnot But like let's just say for example It's like, you know, they're venting to you about a problem that they're having with another person and you're being respectful You know, you're not crossing that boundary just yet You're like oh, you're giving them a little bit of ice here and there but they constantly constantly keep coming to you about The situation like when is it okay to cross that boundary and oh and they tell you like oh don't tell someone so that I'm telling you this or whatever Like at what point is it okay to be like, all right, you know what y'all need to fix your shit So I'm gonna tell like bro, we all need to get together and fucking I mean see that's kind of a tough question because like I think one it depends on who the people are your relationship with those people those people's relationships with each other, you know, and like Just uh, yeah, like they're okay. Let's just say we're all friends I mean basic relationship Like if it's if it's getting so like because I feel like that would annoy me if someone kept coming to me about somebody else And like they just weren't taking my advice like it's like at that point. They're not respecting your boundary, right? It's like dude I mean that it's just like I ain't your daddy like I ain't your like significant other like we're all just friends, right?
Yeah, I feel like that is a boundary though, right? It's like dude my boundary like I'm not your dad. Don't cross that light I guess yeah, I guess I guess I would be a boundary, but yeah, I feel like if it's like becoming tiresome and it's like You know, especially if you're cool with both of those people And like it's one of those like to be easily solved if they didn't just talk I think it's just like one of those like maybe not tell both of the parties like oh someone said this about you and someone said that about You like maybe just be like yo like both of you should just talk You know, right tell tell the person who's telling you all this stuff first like yo, you need to talk to the whoever you're having issues with Yeah, right. And then what if you know that that person won't do it though then I'm like Personally like for me if they know they won't do it I would probably just say like yo like don't talk to me about it then like I've already said what I had to say like That's kind of the end of it really if you don't want to listen to me or you don't feel like if you feel like that's not the best choice then like That's why but like you know like I I mean what else is there to say, you know Yeah, because like eventually you could have diminishing return on that Like explain it for those who don't understand that like eventually you'll just run out of things to say like what You've already talked about it at length as much as you could.
I'm just gonna say be great Like what else is there to add for you like like drift into like just talking shit about somebody, you know Yeah, it's kind of like at this point whatever I say you was not gonna help Yeah, okay Whatever is left to say is just like is it really like solid advice or is it just you like fucking bashing on somebody? If you just want to bash on somebody like say so, you know like be honest about it But if you're if you're doing the whole I don't know what to do like I don't know how I should approach this person about whatever the situation is yada yada yada like I mean that conversation is There's only so much you can have in that conversation before it eventually turns into This person's just really annoying or whatever before you start bashing the person, you know Mm. Have you ever had to Do that like cross that boundary and sort of step in for them or like it or whatever, you know But anyone in your life like have you ever had to like to a certain point? Well, I guess you're saying that you should hit or whatever, but I guess I don't have you ever cross a boundary I guess what I'm asking.
I don't know. Yeah, I'm sure cross people's boundaries all the time You know Just my fucking presence Just the way I look but wow, that's come on now, dude, but Sorry, you don't want to tell people. Yeah, you want to tell people you're that ugly But no, like I mean there was a situation where like You know like I like I was part of a friend group basically and two friends were fighting or whatever and like I mean, I did I did say like yo like Like you know a lot of this could be resolved if you just both sat down and like like hash it out and You know told both of them that or yeah, okay. How'd they take it?
Um? So from the example that I'm remembering like I don't really remember because I didn't really care for them so much And I thought it was weird that they were both coming to like me specifically But I do remember saying like, you know, whatever issue you guys are having like Honestly could just be really resolved if you sat down and talked about it And if at the end of the day like you come to the conclusion that you guys do you want to be friends or you don't want to be friends I guess on you guys, you know, like like obviously no one can force you to be friends or whatever Like yeah, don't expect other people. Oh, like act like nothing happened. Like that's I feel like that's kind of unrealistic in that sense you know and um And in that situation as far as I was concerned I kind of told them like I'm still gonna be friends with the other person regardless, but you know Yeah, typical Chris always the middleman always the new always Switzerland.
Hey, but realistically he's Germany I Feel like you are, you know, I feel like that's like I've seen you personally in situations where you're you're Switzerland You know you try to see both sides and be like, yeah, well, maybe you know that your guys thing and then quickly turn out and be like Nah, like that shit. Who do you mean when when um when let's see Yeah, give me give me a call. Oh, no, I can I can't I can't get you concrete example But I don't know if I want to cross that boundary and out them like that. Okay Maybe we can discuss it offline, but let's just say let's just say a certain someone we know, you know, we I mean we both we both tried to see their side of it or the other person's side of it and then we quickly turn around I'm like, yeah, no, they're wrong.
Who's getting it? Are you getting it? You really don't get it right now? No, someone else Yeah, oh, yeah.
Yeah, right? Yeah, come on now How's that different? How's that way different? Because that person has a mega attitude that it's bad news all around you, you know Okay, yeah, so I guess it kind of I don't know what person is like any sort of criticism you give them at the wrong time Even if it's even if it's solid criticism, right?
You know, not like criticism in an attacking way just like hey, maybe you should like Just be a little like a little loose on this or something, right? Yeah, like telling it to that person at the wrong time Like you're just gonna get like an earful. Like you will get your ears chewed out. Yeah, you know, I That person or listeners are probably like who are they talking about?
Who is it? What are they even talking about? We probably lost them at this point. I don't even know if we're saying on topic I've had a few I remember I had one situation with an ex where she didn't want me to be friends with somebody and I was like, yeah, like that's not cool at all Like that was that was a weird conversation to have So they pretty much set the boundary for you or like what was the point of bringing that up?
Sorry? Just talk about what I was like she she don't want me to be friends with this one person and I was like But but like why though like you don't actually like it came down like delcy and it's great interest Trust issues and things like that which like she like openly admitted to which was like, you know, and it was like it was a conversation we were having but um Yeah, like during during that time was like, yeah, like I understand how like you feel that way But like honestly like it's it's really not okay for you to dictate who I can and can't be friends with yeah like that was something that I'm really Like not okay with So what are that what if what if what if that friend like the person that was telling you yo You shouldn't be friends with this person like see it sees things that you can't like that other person really isn't good for you But you just can't see that I mean Maybe I mean like when is it okay for me to cross that boundary and slap you in the face to make you realize See I think because I think because we're cousins like because we're tight like we're close I think like instinctively you'll know You know like I feel like if I was dating someone or if I was someone who was just absolutely controlling my life Right and like it was just absolutely horrible for me I think I think you would know be like all right like You can't keep being with this person or like this can't keep going like something needs to change, you know Yeah, well, I was mainly like brought up that question because you were saying how One of your things that you don't like is when someone tries to tell you who and who you can't be friends with So that's why I'm saying like what if they knew though that the person that telling you not to be friends with just isn't good for you Yeah, and that's part of the conversation. All right is like sometimes you have to like be able to hear what you don't want to exactly hear, you know Like a hard truth, you know, you have to break your own boundaries dude. You are genius Break you know of when people and break your own boundaries Great advice from Chris great advice.
Um, okay, so you know who Who does not understand boundaries at all or who yeah and probably have none whatsoever Who? Filipino people oh, yeah, sorry. I know that's racist, but it's fucking true dude Parents and circles have no boundaries, and it's so annoying. They don't respect other people's boundaries, man Super but then when you when you try to flip it on them and try to know their shit or try to get into their life They're like no they won't let you in they like respect your elders.
It's like what the fuck you just what you know Yeah, no, that's not that racist thing at all Like I feel like that's super cultural like even when I lived in the Philippines like like talking to like other Like other teenagers like other teenagers other young adults and stuff like They would express the same kind of sentiment of just like You know parents won't respect my boundaries. Well, blah blah blah like this time the other You know, but it's annoying to see when they like they do it with the whole we're just looking out for you though Yes, that's how they try to they think it's a loophole, but it's not It's not a loophole guys. I'm telling you guys right now for those of you who are this age or whatever that we're specifically talking about I don't think they listen, but if you are listening Respect our boundaries saying no, but I'm just looking out for you. It's just all that I love that's not a loophole It's one of those like you can have the best intentions But your actions might not always come across that way and they might always reflect those good intentions, you know Mm-hmm like um, sorry good.
No, no, go ahead. No, I was just saying like Rebecca's will experience this firsthand especially with my Family my family with our family, you know, it was a game You know, it's just like they don't know why they do it But they just like wherever she goes like if she's leaving the house whatever they ask her share like oh, where you're going? It's like oh, I'm gonna go out like to my friends like oh, why it's like because they're my friend and we're gonna go see him like oh, okay Where it's like um do you need to know that? You know, it's like do you respect the boundaries man?
Yeah, like it's what you do because I feel like why that kind of comes from the place of just trying to make small talk to you Yeah, we don't have to do that like we could see myself in trouble with having a small talk Yeah, yeah So it's just like it's so fun Oh, sorry about that. Did you hear that? Yeah, I'm gonna pick that up, but probably but yeah, it's just It's so funny sometimes and it's very irritating to you know like when Because like right now, right? I mean we're like we're trying to do something and I'm not gonna say what it is But we're trying to do something and of course you have to tell some people about it.
Oh, never right? Boundaries boundaries, man boundaries Uh, you know, of course you have to tell certain people right but then like they don't those people that we tell sometimes don't respect our boundaries Or maybe they just don't realize it. Maybe they just don't realize it. I don't know but then go and tell other people You know, it's like whoa dude, and then we have to hear it from somebody else like oh, so I heard you know you guys are doing it That's like huh who told you that?
What kind of what this is about honestly when it comes to that stuff dude, you kind of just have to like We talked about it in a previous like podcast I think in previous episode where like if you don't want something to spread You just got to say like don't tell no even even when you say that though Phil panels don't understand that boundaries when I'm saying Chris, you know, we specifically told this person don't say anything yet. They said it Yeah, you know, it's like what that's like. It's just be our family. Yeah, and then It's so annoying too because like there's also like somebody who's just Yeah, I don't think they understand boundaries either and they just hold like keep digging like keep digging in like our life, you know Always ask all these questions.
It's like why why do you need to know? It's not your life. That really does mean like I think That's probably the one thing that really doesn't know I mean I don't know like how we're looking out for you bit like that Whatever, it's just the act that they're blatantly like fishing for more information is what buns me. Yeah.
Yeah And again, it's like like we've said like you said sure maybe they're just making small talk and I'm not saying that You can't talk about my life or be interested in my life But it's like they're doing it to a point where it's literally every little thing about my life They want to know and it's like one can make the argument like well, Kyle they care about you But no if you knew if you knew this person, I mean sure they probably do care about me But like it's again within how they do it, right? It's like they're intentions like you gotta see what their true intentions are like and I said earlier in this Episode like that's what I've come to learn. It's like they're not doing it out of interest in my life at all Like it's not that they care or whatever. It's like they personally just want It's uh, not to say spread this shit, but you know like they're doing it for other reasons Yes, don't for sure.
Sorry. I don't know if people heard that but that was my dog choking. He's good. He's good.
He's okay What do you think it's okay to cross a work boundary or like like your supervisor? No like Oh, that's a good question. That's a good question. Yeah work boundaries, huh?
So give me an example like what do you what's what's the situation? Man, I don't know if I'll be able to tell you without like outing who without crossing that boundary. Yeah without outing the person Okay, let's just let's just say like this. This is this has become like an HR thing now like now we're dealing we're going diving into Yeah, you know Yeah, just like when is it okay?
Well, at least from what I've learned through like you have to take yeah through HR HR training It's like once you feel uncomfortable at least I think this is what it is if you feel a comfortable situation you got to report it Yeah, yeah, I know nobody wants me a snitch though Of course there are ways to report it anonymously. You know that right? There are I'm just like He's like, oh, let me write this down real quick. Well, we're gonna take a quick break.
No, uh No, just like because there's something's obviously like you want to report like sexual harassment, right? Of course. Yeah, like you should that's a boundary in itself that people should not cross either, you know? It's like yeah, but like There's just like sort of like model things that like can be kind of annoying that it's just like yo, you're It's more annoying than anything Rather than an actual like I guess offensive like topic or whatever I I guess like just give an example dude.
Yeah, just an example like let's just say someone keeps talking about like girls Or like they're dating life or her guys or whatever, right? Yeah, like you know, it'll work any eye on you or that shit like I don't care You know like no it was different it might be different if you're like, hey, like I need some advice on Like how I approach somebody maybe like whatever that's kind of difference But when you're like talking about like the details about it, you know, like that's just like I find that really annoying You know, right and like to me Just here. Just like I want to hear that shit, you know Well, I think at that point Chris, you can kind of take your own advice and maybe talk to the person first, you know Like let them know like hey, I don't want to hear that shit bro You know, yeah, well, see I followed by other piece of ways and now avoiding them You have weird pieces of advice you say avoid them and then at some point talk to them. So which one is it Chris?
Honestly pick one whatever works best for you There you go. Okay, so you you okay you give advice for certain situations. I get it. I get it Yeah, and person people if you're socially anxious like I am avoid everything just avoid people But if you're like Kyle and you're okay with talking to people Right, yeah, you know, yeah So see like you know, you know our work relationship, uh, not just me and you but like our team in general.
We're all we're all cool We all like talk to each other Don't you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah Uh for the most part at least some of us, um and I think when it comes to work boundaries I think it's the same thing as personal like any other boundary, you know, you kind of got a You got to feel it. You got to read the room, you know Obviously if your supervisors telling you something work related that may involve somebody else like you're not it's not your responsibility Nor should it ever be to tell that other person like, you know, you gotta respect that boundary or whatever Like just don't don't fucking say shit, you know, or if it's like sometimes we'll have you know our co-workers Maybe tell us something personal about their lives again. Respect it.
Don't cross that boundary. Don't be spreading that shit Yeah But if if a co-worker is doing something to you that does make you uncomfortable, then yeah, I think it's safe to say Spread that shit. I'm just kidding Did you ever talk to the person who kept sitting in your chair? See a good question, Chris.
Good. Good question. No, I just I took your first advice and just avoided the whole situation Because at that point it's just me being petty, you know, like it wasn't a big issue to me I mean it was a little weird, but basically what Chris is talking about is when we were in office, not presidential office When we were at work pre-COVID I had a desk certain people didn't have a desk when they would come in just for whatever reason and Sometimes they would sit at my desk if I wasn't there like if I literally just went to the bathroom or something They needed a spot to sit they would sit at my desk And then it would kind of take them a while like I'd come back and like stand there and they'd be like oh my bad It's like oh no worries dude. No worries.
You know, I'm also being courteous You know, they literally didn't really have a spot to sit so I'm like, you know, whatever sit there, you know, sure But then it came to a point where they kept on doing it and I'm like, yo, okay Yeah, you know, I mean there's other there's other desk there guys sit there, you know But when you told me about it, I couldn't unsee it anymore Yeah, I know but so then it got to the point where I'm like, okay This is kind of weird, but then again at the same time It's like I kind of let it happen and then if even if I did say anything then yeah, it's like me coming off petty like Don't sit at my desk because I don't I don't like you or whatever. I'm just like, ah, I didn't really care You know, so so no I never spoke to that person about it because I just avoided it So it's all good now though. Nobody sits at my desk here at home Got myself Though occasionally sometimes I do see Rebecca sitting here, but that I can't really Argue about that. That's a lose situation all the time Is it do you have any physical boundary that you don't want anyone to like ever just like cross Uh, what do you mean?
like uh So when I was in college, I stayed in the dorm for a little bit and I had my little desk set up for never And I absolutely would always get a little bit if I found someone sitting at my desk or using it Okay. Yeah, yeah, like um Like let's see like that. That was like that was really like one of my pet peeves for sure Oh, okay. Well, actually no, I mean kind of so we here at the household, um, you know, there's more than one person living here and Uh, we all kind of share a Netflix account or not necessarily share a Netflix account It's like it's my sister's to begin with okay And you know, she kind of only gave permission For immediate family to kind of use it But because there are other people living here and we have an Netflix account on her tv downstairs Of course anybody who has access to it can use it And uh, one of them started using it at first and like didn't even have the audacity to like ask me personally But then ask you know my mom who then had like let me know like hey, they're using it by the way It's like why did they just ask me, you know, like that I was kind of like yo the fuck like you kind of crossed the boundary layer, you know, like One, it's not it one.
It's not my count too. It's not your count either. You know what I mean? Yeah, the fuck And then like sometimes too, it's so funny because like well, we'll be out of the house Right and then we'll come home and then they're watching something and then they're like, oh, sorry.
Is it okay? It's like well, you're already doing it Wait, I'm gonna tell you no turn it off like I'm not gonna do that. Yeah, and that's the other thing too. It's I think it's not Filipino culture man They just I think they think let's just cross the boundary And then if anything after that happens, we'll just get there when it happens You know, I mean like any repercussions like we'll just deal with it.
It's okay Well, to be fair though, so like tv a little insight when I lived in the Philippines, you know, there is a Like reinforcement of like Sherry like everything is like basically community driven But we're not in the Philippines Chris. That's my point. We're in America. No, I was kidding Go ahead, but we need to grow up, you know growing up in that in Filipino culture Like there's a lot of community reinforcement, right?
Like when I live there like a lot of Like I think over here, maybe there's a lot more individual like projects like oh, you know, like you're You know, you're assigned your own paper. You're assigned your own like Subject for whatever project or whatever whatever what have you right? But like over there like a lot of it's like, oh, all right break up in groups And then I'll give you guys like a group project to work on Like personally like I hated that because I hate working with other students I would always end up being the most work anyway, but weird Look you there's always that reinforcement though. So I mean, I think that's where it comes from is that whole like you know, it's yeah Yeah, no, I get it.
I mean, it's that's also Filipino's have that strong belief. They're like oh their family. You need to help out family I mean, I don't know how watching Netflix is helping them I mean, I guess it's saving money if they don't have to pay for it But like I don't pay for it either. I'm double-standering myself, which by the way to an end next week for that episode, but um Yeah, you know, I get it.
I feel a penal culture of like oh, they're family to help out family blah blah blah blah blah But there's still boundaries guys like come on. Yeah, no, you know What are we gonna do Chris? How do we tell tell them no without saying no? You can try to drop your kids, you know, but like at the end of the day if it's like Oh, Rebecca truly believes I do drop hints, but they're very very rude mean hints and I and she's like your mean what wow, okay?
Yeah, but I'm like any other thing I would give them they wouldn't I gotta give those mean hints, you know That's the thing though, too. It's like at some point you probably have given those like software like yeah, probably you'll do that in You know, so at some point you just kind of have to be like, yo, like don't do that, you know Yeah, and sometimes it's better to like stomp it out quickly and just be like, yo, just don't do that You know, like that's not good thing to do Yeah, and to be to be clear for those of you that are probably wondering like ting how mean is Kyle to whoever they're talking about I'm not yeah What I'm talking about specifically is that I just short answer them or kind of just show no emotion towards them Like especially when they're talking to me. I just have a very very straight face or one word answers And then we're like it kind of picks it up for me after actually oh, thank you No, I'm just like thanks You're very concise and like you kind of do you have a certain tone that you have? You know, yeah, that could be a little disheartening, you know I am I hurting your feelings?
Are you trying to tell me that hurt your feelings sometimes Chris? No, no, no I just crossed an Audrey. I know I was getting I'll tell you this offline. No say it what?
Is it what type of first and then I'll approve whether or not you should say it Or is it a long thing to type? Can you tell me what it is in one word? Let's see. He's where for those of you that are wondering what I'm talking about wrong discord It's an app on our PCs where we could talk to each other online So I'm telling him to chat it to me first before he tells you guys So that way I don't have to edit it out because that was one of our resolutions for 2020 It's less editing if you guys remember to about that episode You take it forever to type dude.
It must be hella long. I told you you tell me one word Chris. I can No, finish typing. I'm not trying to edit this shit, bro.
Did you delete everything already? Oh, uh It's a leak. Oh Wait, what? Whoa, I'm trying to read Okay, go ahead.
Yeah, that's fine. Go ahead and tell it So, uh, she should I just Alright, anyway, so my one scope is my mom because she like she stayed with you. Yeah, and so, you know You know, like I think you I think you're gonna wreck it. We're out here at every end of it.
She's like my mom And we were just I was just hanging out with her, you know And uh, she saw me like how like because I think Luigi was starting like complaining about not being fed or something like that And I think it's when you guys got him like a feeder or something or like, no, I'm sorry Luigi started to complain that he wasn't being fed Yeah, like I think he was just like he's just like not barking But just like lightly like howling and like He was obviously indicating he wanted to eat Right, but as when you had the little diet thing of like if he'd been fed or whatever that thing on the fridge A feeder reminder. Yeah. Yeah And so like I think it was I think it was like rightly after that or before that but like my mom didn't know She like uh, you shouldn't know if he had been fed or not or whatever Okay, and she saw me she wanted to feed her but she She didn't want to because she was worried that like not to say that you yelled at my mom or anyone she just didn't want to Get upset or whatever. Yeah, okay.
Yeah, you know, it's Now I feel bad because yeah, okay, so to kind of give this back story a back story. Yeah, Chris's mom used to live with me and You know that blessed her soul because she did do a lot of stuff for the house You know a lot of stuff from my mom and I think she would clean all that stuff and she did take care of Luigi Which I did greatly appreciate but at the same time like you know, I've had Luigi for now more than 14 years Um, he's still kicking so like I know my dog, you know, I mean and it got it got to a point where like I know him so well That and I've raised him, you know to do not necessarily do that or well I mean to let us know when he's hungry but specifically at specific times or Um, totally let us know because we yeah, we keep him kind of on strict diet So to let us know only twice and I know that you know, your mom loves Luigi again bless her soul She loves Luigi to that like as if it was her own dog, but I can't when it comes to boundaries. It's like that's not your dog It's my dog, right? You guys could say maybe I'm just being selfish, but I don't give a fuck that's my dog, okay, and My mom can cross-moundry sometimes.
Yeah, but basically what I'm trying to say is that it got to a point where I knew your mom would kind of Spoil him, okay, like she would give into his every need whenever he would bark she would be there Okay, and not to say that that's a totally bad thing, but again, it's not your dog So you're when when you do something like that to somebody else's dog, you're kind of retraining them You know, I mean like I've got him to certain points not necessarily beg me Okay, so at least let me know when if you know but not beg me to where your mom, which is why I got the pet feet a reminder You know, I mean it's because they literally they overfed him dude Like he he blew up so I'm like, okay, we need to like set boundaries, okay to how to feed my dog Oh my god. He's running all over the place. Sorry guys, but I know he is. Hold on.
Let me go to your bed So that's why I got the pet reminder, you know, it's because I knew that Diddy sorry Okay, no, he didn't false alarm guys Anyways, um, yeah, it just got to the point where they're over feeding him so I had to get the pet feeding reminder to kind of Let them know and this is so again, this is like the thing that I said before like where Rebecca tells me that I do give hints To them, but they're very mean and they're kind of like petty ish It's like I get shit for the house to remind them of things and then I don't and then again Like I take your advice like avoid it but like not avoid it, you know Like I get shit to remind them by not this is how I tell him. No, but I'm not telling him no basically So I think that's why you know, I could see where your mom's coming from like where she would be scared to like feed him because of the whole pet Fear reminded but that's the whole reason why I got though so that we don't have to have those Awkward conversations where I'm like yelling at my mom for over feeding Luigi when I know it wasn't her fault You know, I'm trying to do it so I don't have to yell at your mom about it because I know she's doing it out of the kindness of her heart But it's like I can't start your dog. It's my dog. I truly truly cheated her help But that's why I got the pet feed reminder so that we wouldn't have to deal with all that shit, but yeah Over overly explained but yeah Like but I just like you know, it's just it was just funny and it don't that was relevant to the Yeah, that's funny.
Oh, how did she mom though? Yeah, same same by the way, she's just in the Philippines guys Yeah, yeah But yeah, so wow we we've actually hit an hour. I wasn't I wasn't even weren't really gonna be able to talk a lot about this But we did cool. Yeah, don't laugh at me Rebecca.
She she gave a little snarky laugh in the background Just cross about me man. Yeah, she's crossing she's crossing boundaries for sure. Yeah, so I sat boundaries with her You know, I make sure that she does it uh do certain things. Uh, make sure she doesn't talk to certain people Uh, she's just laughing.
I'm just You Yeah, speak when spoken to um, these are all boundaries. She's set for me actually I'm not whipped. You're whipped. Anyways I'm just blabbling now at this point That's funny.
Any last minute advice or tips chris on boundaries or any last thoughts? No, uh, you know, no You know comment below if you have any boundaries or any advices. I don't know. You can't comment anywhere You know what follow us on instagram at talking nonsense underscore.
Yes. I know I haven't changed it yet, but at this point I don't care. Do you post on there? I just post on me have a new episode.
Yeah, I might post a little little questionnaire on our stories there about boundaries or something If I ever get around to it to be fully honest with you, man. I'm just lazy Same no say we need a PR manager. Yes, that's what we need. Hey, Rebecca.
You want to be our PR manager? No, oh, she said pay her. So, um, we are now being sponsored by Uh, we need money guys. Yeah, we do set up for a patreon Should we be one now?
We only have like 10 listeners or we didn't give Uh A personal shout out in our podcast. That's that's pretty rewarding. You know, we maybe Maybe like a maybe like a signed photo of us, you know, you know, I'm pretty sure people want that Shut up. I don't know if they heard that, but Rebecca just said ain't nobody trying to see mug.
Yes No, you just try not let people see my beautiful ass. Huh, babe? She just roll her eyes. Um, yeah, so That was talking nonsense.
Thanks for listening. Um, follow us again on instagram at talking nonsense underscore and i'm caught Yeah, we'll talk to you guys next time. Bye