Episode 49: Drunk Buffalo, Flunking Home Ec, & a 4-Pound Goldfish

Kathleen opens the show wearing a foam shark fin hat (sent by loyal Missouri Termite Shelby), and drinking a Yuengling Flight beer (which she highly recommends adding to your “Day Drinking” beer list of options.) TERMITE SHOUTOUTS: Kathleen is thrilled to go through mail from the PO box, thanking Termite Jen from Colorado, who sent a hilarious book called “Judgmental Maps.” Kathleen then thanks Termite Laura for her custom-made Baby Shoe Madigan” bracelet, which she will wear for luck while gambling in Vegas next month, and Termite Cindy for her tiny Crown Royal bags which will help out with all of Kathleen’s “tiny organizational challenges” on the road. “GOOD BAD FOOD”: In her quest for new and delicious not-so-nutritious junk food AND in continuing her search for the best Ranch, Kathleen samples Buffalo Wing Cheez-Its, which she LOVES (as she also loves regular Cheez-Its.). She then tastes Kroger’s Private Selection Fire Roasted Poblano Ranch, which she finds to be delicious but also doesn’t taste much like Ranch dressing. Kathleen finishes her tasting with Poppy’s Tangy Carolina BBQ Popcorn which was sent from Termites Jessie and her mom Marian, which Kathleen also loves since it tastes exactly like her favorite vinegar-based BBQ sauce. UPDATE ON KATHLEEN’S QUEEN’S COURT: In this week’s update from the Court, Kathleen advises listeners to check out Tanya’s Instagram, since she’s posting content from the road now that she’s on tour. Kathleen then offers an update from Cher, who is an avid supporter of the #FreeBritney movement and whose Twitter feed continues to be CARA THE PYTHON FOUND: Kathleen laughs as she reads the call logs from the Mall of Louisiana staff to Animal Control when they found out that the 12-foot Burmese Python had escaped the zoo exhibit. It turns out that the staff watched the python escape, and then when no immediate help could be offered from County animal officials they hid from the snake and it slithered from sight. Kathleen completely agrees with that reaction. GOVERNOR RAVNSBORG’S HIT AND RUN: As an UPDATE to Episode 30, Kathleen reads an article advising that South Dakota's attorney general is attempting to access any psychiatric or psychological records of the man he struck and killed along a highway, alleging in court documents that the death may have been a suicide. Investigators say Ravnsborg was distracted and swerved out of his lane as Joe Boever, 55, walked on the shoulder with a flashlight. Kathleen reminds listeners that she believes the Governor had been doing a little “drinky-drinky,” which was the reason for the cover-up, and then offers multiple reasons as to why anyone wouldn’t be carrying a flashlight on the shoulder of a road if they in fact wanted to kill themselves. ELIZABETH HOLMES TikTok FAN CLUB: When Theranos began to fall apart in 2015, hundreds of employees were laid off without warning. One former clinician was fired so suddenly that she walked out still wearing her lab coat, and as the Theranos fraud become a more mainstream subject she offered the coat for sale on the site Poshmark and a niche group of women called the “Holmies” was discovered. Kathleen is shocked at while reading the comments that the Holmies leave on TikTok, using the hashtag #GirlBoss to praise their "leader" and "queen" Elizabeth Holmes. They look up to her as an inspiration and feel as though she is brilliant in the unapologetic delivery of her strategic vision, which Kathleen reminds them MIGHT just land her in prison. DEATH OF ANOTHER BITCOIN BILLIONAIRE: In continuing with her love of cryptocurrency, Kathleen reads an article about a major bitcoin investor who suddenly died, leaving behind a cryptocurrency fortune reportedly worth more than $2 billion. Mircea Popescu, a Romanian national, drowned at the beginning of July off the coast of Costa Rica at the age of 41. Kathleen reads unconfirmed rumors swirling about the internet claim that he never shared his crypto wallet password with anyone, and his family cannot access his Bitcoin addresses. If nobody can gain access to his wallets (claimed to hold a million Bitcoins), those tokens could end up being lost forever. CATCHING A 4-POUND GOLDFISH: Kathleen laughs while reading an article out of Minnesota, where authorities are pleading with personal aquarium owners to stop releasing pet fish into waterways after several huge goldfish were pulled from a local lake. In November 2020, officials in Carver county (SW of Minneapolis) removed as many as 50,000 goldfish from local waters after oxygen levels were depreciating in local lakes, and a man caught a 4-pound goldfish while fishing. POST PANDEMIC AIRLINE ISSUES: As Kathleen heads back out onto the road, she shares stories of airport insanity that she has personally witnessed. She laughs as she reads a recent article about a woman who is duct-taped to her seat on an American Airlines flight when she tells a fellow passenger that she doesn’t want the plane to “fly up anymore.” Kathleen goes on to report that the FAA has reported an increase in the number of reports of unruly behavior on flights since May 2021, when people started traveling again when COVID travel restrictions were lifted. Kathleen advises that she’s going to start traveling with her Justin Bieber-themed duct tape in case she needs to ever be of assistance to flight crews. FACEBOOK BUILDS A VILLAGE: Termites know how Kathleen feels about Mark Zuckerberg, and she screams when she reads about plans that the company has to build an entire town called Willow Park near its headquarters in Menlo Park, CA. The development will include 1,729 apartments, a supermarket, a pharmacy, retail, as well as 1.25 million square feet of new Facebook office space housing roughly 7,000 employees. MEGALODON TEETH FOUND: In continuing with her love of sharks, Kathleen is thrilled to read an article about a man in Florida who found 2 rare megalodon teeth 3 weeks apart after Tropical Storm Elsa. DRUNK BUFFALO LEAD TO FARMER’S ARREST: Kathleen laughs out loud reading an article announcing that 3 Indian farmers were arrested for selling illegal alcohol after a herd of buffalo got drunk on their contraband moonshine. The buffalo were reported by a vet who noticed that water in the buffaloes' trough had turned a yellowish color, which was a result of the illegal liquor being hidden in their trough. MISSING PICASSO FOUND IN A BUSH: In continuing with her appreciation of the art world, Kathleen reads a news release advising that a 49-year-old builder has been arrested for the theft of Picasso's Head of a Woman, which was stolen during a raid on the Athens National Gallery in 2012. The piece of art would have been "impossible to sell or go on display" because it had a personal inscription from Picasso on the back that read, in French, "For the Greek people, a tribute by Picasso." Investigators believe that the thief had worked as an oil painter himself and had knowledge of the materials and of the gallery, and that he stole what he could get his hands on in the short window he was inside for the heist. When he learned that police were closing in on him after more than a decade of hiding the Picasso work, he moved it from a warehouse to the ravine where they were finally discovered. WHAT TO WATCH THIS WEEK: Kathleen recommends watching “The Flight Attendant” on HBO Max, which Kathleen put off watching forever but ended up binging the entire Season 1 in 2 nights. The lead character is played by Kaley Cuoco, who also played “Penny” on The Big Bang Theory. Kathleen tells a story about visiting Ireland with Lewis Black when a young girl in a restaurant recognized him for his role on a Big Bang Theory episode. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.