Episode 493: My boss one-ups my negativity and football engineering

In this episode, Dave and Jamison answer these questions: Hey Guys, long time listener, first time asker! At my BigCorp Co., whenever I talk to my skip level about my concerns, it seems we are playing the ‘Gloom Olympics’ every time we meet. I’ll mention I worked late, and he’ll counter with, ‘That’s nothing, I haven’t slept in three days!’ This repeated lack of empathy is demotivating and I don’t think I have had a fruitful discussion with him. How can I tackle this? How can I feel heard? I’ve decided to leave my current job as a software engineer at a large retail chain. This is my first out of university, and I’ve been here three years. I’m interviewing for two other jobs: one as an engineer at another large retail chain on a team, and another at a world renowned European football club. That job would be very different. I’d be the first internal dev hire ever, and I was told I should expect no other devs to get hired for 2+ years. I’d write my own tickets and review my own prs. The project would be to build a dashboard to manage the players - drug testing, injuries, rosters - internally. What should I do? Feedback & mentorship were central to my growth at my current job. I won’t have that at the sports club. My concern is I go to the football team, drink a lot of beer & have a great time, but after 3 years of being my own boss, I’ll think I’m the greatest dev ever but really not have kept up to date with modern trends, forgotten how to take feedback, and written a lot of 💩 code.