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Hi guys, and welcome to another episode of Honest Talk Radio. I'm your host, Makaila. I'm a military spouse, mom to three, entrepreneur, and overall, I am a woman on a mission to help you navigate the uncertainties of life with ease and confidence while staying true to your personal identity. This show is all about having real, raw, and honest conversations surrounding military life, parenthood, womanhood, and well, life in general.
So today, I want to talk about transitions. Whether you're just beginning this military journey, have been doing it for a while, or are about to transition into the civilian world, I'm sure you've probably faced a lot of changes. Or perhaps you're transitioning into homeschooling, or your kids are about to transition out of high school and into college, or maybe you're transitioning into becoming a parent. Life is full of transitions.
So regardless of whether the transitions you face are a personal choice, or are ones being forced upon you, it is so important to have the tools and skills to cope with any fears, doubts, and anxieties that may creep in, right? Because like I said, one thing in this life is for sure, and that's change. Change is always happening around us. As I mentioned before, I'm a military spouse, and we are preparing for our third teeth move.
Yes, I said 13th move in 18 years. We will be leaving Rome, beautiful Rome Italy in just, well, actually a week from today. We'll be transitioning back to the United States after living here abroad for one year. But that's not all you guys simultaneously.
I am in a transitional state with my kids. My oldest son is embarking on the state of life of having a girlfriend. I mean, what? I don't even feel old enough for him to have a girlfriend.
And also having to say goodbye to the friends that he's met and all of my kids for that matter, it has been so, so difficult. Not only that, but my middle child. Yes, my middle child is transitioning out of middle school and will be starting her freshman year of high school. Oh, my goodness.
It's it's so hard for me to even comprehend. And my youngest, who is turning nine in August. Well, this is probably one of the first moves that she is really understanding what's happening. You know, she completely gets the cycle.
And so she's no longer just along for the ride, but she's having to deal with the goodbyes and the leaving friends behind and be, you know, not knowing what the new place is going to look like. Now, I tell you this because more often than not, you're not just going through when transition in life. You're going through multiple transitions at any given time, which can lead to those feelings that I talked about earlier, the doubt, the fear, anxiety, overwhelm. Transitions force us to move out of our established comfort zones.
They force us to be vulnerable, which, oh, that's so hard, isn't it? But the thing is when facing changes in our life, we're faced with a lot of choices, some big and some small. And so how do you how you navigate those? How do you know if you're making the right choice, the wrong choice?
So if you allow me, I'd like to share a little story with you and hopefully you can gain some hope and clarity out of my situation. And I'll also be hearing with you my three steps in being more resilient when facing life's transitions. These three steps have helped me over the years. So like I said, transitions, transitions, transitions.
Last year around this time, my family and I had known for four months that we had an assignment to Honolulu, Hawaii, in less than two weeks before we were supposed to leave and start our journey further west. We received a phone call that would change our trajectory. We went from Luelles on the beach to Gelato in the Piazza because like I said before, we are about to leave it wrong Italy, not Hawaii. I can honestly say these were the two best options we've ever had when it comes to a location on the military summit.
But wow, what a difference. Despite the excitement and the thrill of living on a Hawaiian island turned European country, a lot of things had to fall in place behind the scenes. Household goods were already on the rate of Hawaii. Passports needed to be renewed.
Cars shipped, visas attained, and the list went on and on. We were supposed to leave around June 6th. And because of all those things that had to take place, we didn't end up getting to Rome until August 6th. So from June to August, things were completely chaotic.
We had no idea what was going on. And it felt like there were so many fires to put out. And let's just say there was a lot of uncertainty, right? But the point of the story is not to complain about the chaos or boast about the location that we ended up in, but instead share a positive perspective around life's transitions.
So I have a question for you. Where does your mind go when life takes a left turn instead of a right? Because life's transitions can turn your world into a tail thin. But does it have you?
Do you panic? Do you react? Do you immediately see the negative? Full transparency friends.
My first thoughts turn to the negative. But I want to share with you the ways I've been stopping those negative thoughts and contracts and see through a more positive lens. Because truly our lives are bigger than we are. So step number one, first and foremost, I take a step back and stop treating everything like an emergency.
Like I said before, there were so many things that had to fall in place. I had households good on their way to Hawaii. And so with that being said, everything at the moment felt like an emergency. It felt like it all had to have been done yesterday to get the change to happen.
But the truth is, in most situations, you do have time to come up with a plan and move forward. And so that's exactly what we did. When we found out that our assignment got changed, my mind immediately went into overdrive with questions like, what do we do? What do we take?
Where are we going to live? What about the rest of our stuff? School? Where it went?
And how do we meet renew our passports? What if they don't come in on time? And the chaotic thoughts rolled around my head like a tornado on the ocean? Yes, those questions needed answers.
But there was time nobody had died. Nobody was injured. We were healthy. We still had a roof over our head despite face housing, wanting to kick it out.
And the paycheck coming in. We truly weren't in crisis mode. We were in transition mode. My second step is to ask for help.
I know you guys asking for help is so hard. Right? Why? Why is it so hard?
But when I realized I didn't have to have all the answers within the first five minutes of learning about the change, I was able to start my research. And thanks to the powerful internet and connections on social media, I could ask questions. Y'all, there were a wealth of resources, friends, family and so on at my fingertips. Again, I didn't have to know all the answers.
And you know what? My friends didn't have to know all the answers either, but a lot of them knew how to point me in the right direction. So asking for help is huge when it comes to transitions in life. You're not in it alone.
And the third and final step is to fall back on past experiences. I show back on the faith that one way or another, it was all going to work out. I looked back to different circumstances in my life that at the moment seemed like the end. I could reflect on the fact that we made it through.
Even tragic events, such as losing a loved one, it doesn't mean that that tragic event hurts less or that I'm over it. It just means that I made it through to the other side. You know, I lost my dad almost 15 years ago. And in the moment, it felt like my world is crumbling and ending.
But what got me through was following these three steps and also taking a moment to smile. You see, my son was just over a year old at the time. And so he didn't know what was going on. He didn't understand what had happened or why we were sad.
And he would say funny things and make all of us laugh as we were walking through the trauma, but taking a moment to smile and to laugh and to squeeze him and hug him and cuddle him and look for some good in my life, sure made a big difference. So friends, I highly suggest that when change presents itself, instead of going into crisis mode, turn to confidence. Know that change can be scary and uncertain. But I believe in you, support you and know that you can make it through.
So just to recap, my three steps when facing transitions is number one, take a step back. It's not not everything is an emergency. Number two, ask for help. If you listen to my other episodes, you know that that's a common theme with me.
And yes, it was always hard for me too. But as soon as I learned how to ask for help, life got a lot better. And number three, fall back on your past experiences, reflect, think about the times that you made it through when you didn't think you would. So if you're not sure where to get started and asking for help and creating space to handle all the transitions you're being faced with today, head on over to my Facebook or Instagram page at honesttalkinternational and send me a message.
Or you can always visit me at my website at www.honesttalkinternational.com. I'm cheering for you guys. Until next time.