Episode #5: Why Do Kids Struggle in School?

If They Could, They Would. Why is your child struggling in school? Maybe they refuse to read. Maybe homework turns into a battle. Maybe they avoid certain assignments, shut down when things get difficult, or seem completely uninterested in school. It can be easy to look at those behaviors and assume your child isn’t trying hard enough. But I want you to consider something different: If they could, they would. At The Learning Room, we work almost exclusively with struggling learners, including students who come to us multiple years behind academically. And one of the biggest things I want parents to understand is that underneath so many of the behaviors we see is something much simpler: Your child may not have the skills they need to be successful yet. A diagnosis like ADHD, dyslexia, anxiety, a learning disability, speech challenges, or another form of neurodivergence can absolutely help us understand why a child is struggling. But identifying the reason isn’t where our work ends. Our kids still need us to identify the skills they’re missing and help them build those skills. In this episode, I share the story of a fourth grader whose parents said she simply refused to read. She would tell them over and over again, “I can’t read.” My response? I believe her. She may have memorized enough words to get by in certain situations, but if she doesn’t have the decoding skills to figure out unfamiliar words, reading is incredibly difficult. Think about how much energy it takes for a child to hide that struggle every single day. Sometimes what looks like avoidance, refusal, or a lack of effort is actually a child doing everything they can to protect themselves from something they genuinely don’t know how to do. So what can you do if you think this might be happening with your child? Start by figuring out exactly where the breakdown is. I don’t just want an assessment to tell you that your child is “two years behind.” You probably already know they’re struggling. I want an assessment to give you actionable information: What can your child do? Which skills are missing? Where does their understanding begin to break down? What should you work on first? Once you know that, you can create a path forward and put the right supports in place. And while you’re doing that, pay attention to the emotional environment you’re creating around learning. Your child already knows they’re struggling. They don’t need more fear or pressure. They need to know that you see the problem, you’re working on it together, and there is a path forward. We can acknowledge that things aren’t where we want them to be while still being calm, reassuring, and confident that progress is possible. IN THIS EPISODE, WE TALK ABOUT: • Why struggling students often don’t have the foundational skills they need • Why “if they could, they would” can change the way you view your child’s behavior • Why a diagnosis or label shouldn’t be the end of the conversation • What reading refusal may actually be telling you • Why some assessments create anxiety without giving parents a useful path forward • How to identify the specific skills your child is missing • How to begin layering in the right support • Why creating a calm, reassuring environment at home matters If your child is struggling and you aren’t sure why, The Learning Room offers personalized assessments designed to identify where understanding breaks down and give you actionable next steps. We can also help you determine what kind of support may make sense for your child. RESOURCES + CONNECT WITH THE LEARNING ROOM Website: the-learning-room.com Instagram: @the_learning_room Facebook: @thelearningroomtutor TikTok: @the.learning.room Have questions about assessments or working with us? Visit our website to learn more or book a consultation.