Episode 5x05: "Shifting Sands"

Welcome back to Meta Station for our recap of an amazing episode which is simultaneously a heartfelt emotional drama (Indra saying “I love you!” Kane taking care of Abby! Miller and Jackson kissing! Clarke and Bellamy fireside-bonding again!) and a FUCKING HORROR MOVIE (demon sandworms erupting from stomachs! Eligius IV’s very own Hannibal Lecter! Shock collars for everyone!) Also we’re solidly #TeamIndra over #TeamCooper, we want a whole webisode spinoff of just Madi roadtripping with the Spacekru girls, Erin thinks Blodreina would be a very bad penguin, we’re gonna be super real with you and let you know that Clarke and Bellamy definitely ate people, Raven/Shaw is everyone’s new OTP, the Lincoln parallels are EVERYWHERE, we’re more than a little worried about the looming possibility of an Ethan/Madi murderbaby conclave, Bellamy is Octavia’s Fredo, and “Don’t Do Drugs or You’ll End Up Getting Blackmailed By Serial Killers” is a WAY more effective anti-drug slogan than anything we learned in school. OMON GON OSON! ------------------------------------------ 0:00 – Hello and Welcome, Let’s Recap All Our Wild Theories That Have Already Been Proved Wrong This Season, and Discuss Our Remaining Ones 0:07 – Niylah kom Wonkru, Human Butcher? 0:11 – Shit Went Down In That Bunker and Miller and Jackson Do NOT Want to Talk to Clarke About It 0:15 – “We Could Have Used You in the Bunker” Presupposes that the Bunker Wouldn’t Have Fucked Up Clarke as Much as It Did Everyone Else 0:17 – Clarke as the New Lincoln 0:22 – Bring Us ALLLLLLLLLLL the Indra vs Cooper Palace Intrigue, Please and Thank You 0:28 – The Great and Terrible Beauty of “All of Me For All of Us” 0:40 – Octavia, Indra, Bellamy, Niylah, and “Love Is Weakness” 0:49 – Gaia, Nightblood Novitiates, and Blodreina’s Succession Plan 0:58 – Madi, #1 Skairipa Stan, Is Unlikely to Fangirl Quite So Hard Over Blodreina 1:01 – Biblical Plagues, Biological Warfare, and Mother/Daughter Mad Scientists: TIME FOR SOME SANDWORM DISCOURSE!!! 1:10 – Clarke and Bellamy Getting to Know Each Other Again 1:20 – Heads and Hearts and Reversals Thereof 1:28 – Okay So Like . . . This Is For SURE a Love Triangle 1:31 – Give Echo a Great Arc This Season That Doesn’t Screw Her Over in the Aforementioned Love Triangle, Please and Thank You 1:39 – Madi and the Road Trip Adventure Squad Was Everything We Never Knew We Wanted 1:43 – Octavia’s “Love Is Weakness” Delusion Is Not Borne Out By Fact 1:48 – Shaw and Raven, Our New OTP 1:50 – The Sinister Magnetism of Paxton McCreary 1:53 – We Love Charmaine Diyoza With Our Entire Hearts 1:59 – Diyoza’s Achilles Heel May Be Underestimating Shaw and Raven 2:06 – Kabby Fans, Please Ease Your Minds, Kane and Abby Are Not Going to Bang Diyoza or McCreary Except In All the Amazing Fanfic We’re Going to Be Getting This Season 2:10 – Abby the Addict vs. Abby the Scientist 2:18 – It’s So Important That the Addiction Storyline Is Also Being Fair to the Emotional Impact on Kane 2:24 – Mr. Abby Griffin Gets His Political Mojo Back and Then Is Immediately Humbled By Tequila and His Failure to Put a Ring On It, In Our New Favorite Kane Scene of the Entire Series 2:31 – Always Take the Second Shot, Diyoza