EPISODE 6: BARELY LEGAL LESBIAN VAMPIRES (1999)

And now for something completely shitty. Part softcore vampire flick with sub-porno production and part jerk-off “tribute” to Ed Wood, BARELY LEGAL LESBIAN VAMPIRES is an insult to anyone expecting even a minimum amount of entertainment value out of low-budget filmmaking. The promise of nubile young goths is thwarted by a cavalcade of dried up strippers who appear to be pushing 40, stumbling through about twenty minutes of plot peppered by endless, unsexy love scenes between people who often look either bored and/or high. Add in plenty of leering and cornball humor and you’ll likely need a bath to clean off the sludge long before the closing credits roll.